Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Yes, definitely a case of "My Child Hung the Moon" syndrome by the neighbor father in this case. I'm sorry his girls are going to grow up so self-centerd and lacking of consideration for those around them, but that's not exactly a new thing with many of this generation.
I agree. My boys are loud. My old son has a few special needs and doesn't realize how loud he gets. I undrestand the difference between kids playing loudly and shreiking at the top of their lungs. It drives me crazy, but I let them get it out sometimes. I try to be respectful to my neighbors, and when they're home I make sure I stay on top of it, and teach the kids to be respect others. It's a shame that they're leaving the kids alone to run wild. FWIW, I would have talked to my neighbor too.
You're right; those dern kids should be hauled away and euthanized. That'll school 'em.
Sheesh, dontcha think maybe it's just a little different?
Oh, right, so you should teach your dog to be respectful of other people and not your children? My opinion may have been different if just the 5 year old was screaming at the top of her lungs, or if all the children were too young to know better, but in this case it sounds like those girls need to be told to quiet down. You can't blame them, as it sounds like the parents have no respect, but that doesn't make it acceptable. Further, if the 14 year old is old enough to care for 3 children between 5 and 14, she should be able to control their noise level.
Unfortunately, I'm not sure what you should do. You could approach the mother and see if you get a better result, or approach the 14 year old while it is happening and ask that they turn it down a few notches. I would probably try one and then the other (although I'd send the wife to approach a 14 year old girl). If neither works, I'd write a letter to the HOA, cc-ing the parents. If you don't have an HOA, you're going to have to decide whether or not this is something you're willing to live with for the next decade or until one of you moves. If you're not, things may have to get ugly.
Also, it's a matter of "escalation of conflict". If the OP politely mentioned it to the dad, who them threw attitude with a "Your problem--get used to it" tone, then the neighbor clearly is rude and will be a problem. Now, if our OP had run over screeching SHUT THOSE BRATS UP!!" after never having mentioned anything whatsoever before, then HE would have been at fault.
The kids' dad, even if he thought there was nothing wrong with what they were doing, should at least have said "Well, I will try to keep an ear out for it if it's bothering you, but I really don't see what the problem is here" in a polite, let's-try-to-work-this-out tone, the FIRST time.
A lot of this has to do with how someone was raised and in what part of the country; certainly if someone had politely complained to my dad that I was being too loud, he'd have apologized, and asked me to keep it down, and even if he thought I wasn't in the wrong, he might have said "I don't think you were being loud, but Mr. X complained, so can you try to keep a handle on it if you know he's around."
In some parts of the country, though, I think the attitude toward ANY kind of confrontation is "You gotta problem wit' dat? Well BRING IT ON!" Dare I ask where your new neighbors moved from?
My first thought is poor you what are you going to do when the doors and windows open in the nice weather, second thought is send a registered letter to them explaining what you said the first time. Registered so you have proof it was sent. Third thought if it continues call whoever it is you call for noise control.
I love kids, I think kids should be allowed to run and have fun, BUT not at the expense of other peoples comfort. If it is so out of control to the point you have to buy anything electrical to drown out the noise then it is to loud. Have you tried talking to the mother? Has your wife? What one parent sees as no problem it does not mean the other thinks the same. I think all parents need to teach their children respect for others, and this means allowing other people to live comfortably in their home. If kids want to scream their heads off they should do it out of ear shot. At least that was how I was raised and how I raised my girls.
If my girls were getting out of control I would say "Ok you two time to take it down two notches"
I hope you resolve this because it is unfair to you and your wife, and who knows their could be others in your area who feel the same way, maybe talk to some of them and see if you can come up with a solution.
I don't think you were out of line talking to the dad. I have a daycare in my home and I don't allow the children to scream inside or outside. They can yell or shout during play (not just stand there and yell) but out of respect for any neighbors who might be home during the daytime hours, I don't allow screaming. Not to mention it drives me nuts!!
I feel your pain about loud neighbors. I have neighbors across the street who are always outside their house swearing at each other constantly daytime or night. Every other word out of their mouths is "f**k". I have two children who unfortunately listen to this too. Although, I tried to make this a learning experience for them about how NOT to behave. I too can hear them with the windows closed. By the way, it is the mother and 20something son. I have called the cops on them in the past but it really does no good.
playing and screaming about nothing are different things altogether.
When my kids were young and outside, they were told if they were screaming-they had better have a really good reason or I would give them one when I got out there.
My new next door neighbors have 2 little boys that scream all day. I never ever see a parent address the issue. Makes me wonder how a parent would know when to respond.
Quote:
Originally Posted by iamweasel
I got into a fight with my next door neighboor the other day. They moved in about 6 months ago and they have 4 girls that I think range from 5 to 14.
Anyway, their girls like to play outside a lot (which I have no problem with) but they are screamers. For instance, if they are playing tag when one girl reaches for the other girl she'll scream at the top of her lungs as she's running away. The noise is so loud that my wife bought a white-noise machine (sounds like a fan) to allow her to read in peace when they are outside playing. (Keep in mind all the doors and windows are shut, too.) Even if we have the TV on I have to turn up the volume to help drown out the screams.
Needless to say this screaming has happened a LOT. There are 2 homes on each side of us that all have kids of similar ages, too, but this is not an issue with any of them - just this one house. These kids parents are hardly ever home so the kids are playing outside unsupervised.
Finally I went and spoke to the Dad the other day. (I've talked to him a couple times before and we got along fine.) I told him (nicely) that his kids screaming is disturbing us and if he could do something about that. Boy, I must have touched a nerve because he got very defensive and mean about it. He just said kids are kids and if they are outside they can do anything they want, blah, blah, blah.
Am I out of line to ask them to stop screaming? I honestly have no issues with kids. I just don't think screaming at the top of your lungs over and over is acceptable when we cannot have peace in our own house with all the doors & windows closed.
My first thought is poor you what are you going to do when the doors and windows open in the nice weather, second thought is send a registered letter to them explaining what you said the first time. Registered so you have proof it was sent. Third thought if it continues call whoever it is you call for noise control.
I love kids, I think kids should be allowed to run and have fun, BUT not at the expense of other peoples comfort. If it is so out of control to the point you have to buy anything electrical to drown out the noise then it is to loud. Have you tried talking to the mother? Has your wife? What one parent sees as no problem it does not mean the other thinks the same. I think all parents need to teach their children respect for others, and this means allowing other people to live comfortably in their home. If kids want to scream their heads off they should do it out of ear shot. At least that was how I was raised and how I raised my girls.
If my girls were getting out of control I would say "Ok you two time to take it down two notches"
I hope you resolve this because it is unfair to you and your wife, and who knows their could be others in your area who feel the same way, maybe talk to some of them and see if you can come up with a solution.
i agree 100 % and it seems like dealing with the dad is a dead issue my next move would be talking with the mother and seeing what she has to say if she has that same attitude then maybe you should seek other solutions .
I don't think you were out of line talking to the dad. I have a daycare in my home and I don't allow the children to scream inside or outside. They can yell or shout during play (not just stand there and yell) but out of respect for any neighbors who might be home during the daytime hours, I don't allow screaming. Not to mention it drives me nuts!!
I feel your pain about loud neighbors. I have neighbors across the street who are always outside their house swearing at each other constantly daytime or night. Every other word out of their mouths is "f**k". I have two children who unfortunately listen to this too. Although, I tried to make this a learning experience for them about how NOT to behave. I too can hear them with the windows closed. By the way, it is the mother and 20something son. I have called the cops on them in the past but it really does no good.
Okay do they have a landlord or do they own the house ? if they have a landlord speak to him find out who owns the property it can be done easily these days with a home computer . also if they own the house then call the police when they are screaming eventually the cops will get tired of coming out there and they will arrest someone . I hope you find a solution to this . good luck .
Okay do they have a landlord or do they own the house ? if they have a landlord speak to him find out who owns the property it can be done easily these days with a home computer . also if they own the house then call the police when they are screaming eventually the cops will get tired of coming out there and they will arrest someone . I hope you find a solution to this . good luck .
They own the house. I have a relative who is a cop and i am always asking him about what we can do. He too says to call when they are outside. One time the mom threw a jar candle at the son's car as he drove away (very mature) and when the cops showed up they just talked with her and made her clean up the glass all over the road.
There is a difference between being loud outside and being downright obnoxiously annoying. No different than a dog left outside constantly barking in the next door neighbor's yard. The dad should have taken the high road and spoken to his girls. At least you said something and maybe, just maybe they will pay more attention to the level of noise. Or they could just get even louder...good luck.
I disagree. We have a neighbor whose dogs are constantly barking, day and night, and we find it very annoying. But my (elderly) neighbor has just as much right to have his dogs outside as I do to have my kids playing outside. My kids are noisy and probably disruptive to the little old man that has to listen to them at all hours of the day.
I think as long as the girls int he OP's situation are not outside doing their screaming in the middle of the night, and disrupting people's sleep, then they are entitled to be as loud as they want in their own yard.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
