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The more you do it the easier it gets. We had to do 50 hour also (including 10 at night)...I put that "imaginary brake" to a lot of use! DD is 18 now and never had a ticket so I guess we all survived...DS now has a permit and I find it's not as harrowing the second time around. Hang in there, you'll be fine.....
My daughter just got her first car. She'll get her license in a few weeks. Today we spent the whole day running errands. Naturally, she wanted to drive her new (used) car. Now, let me just say she's a great kid. Very level-headed, mature, etc. That said, today she ran a 4-way stop, had a couple of near-misses and one full-on near death experience while merging. I honestly think she'll be fine with some more supervised driving. She just needs more confidence. I, however......
Wish I had some of that vodka slush right about now
Plug in some soothing music while you are riding. Don't watch her closely and carry a normal convo. My son has his permit right now. When it was time to renew my license, I had him drive me there to get it. It has gotten to the point that I take a book to read. I do not have to micromanage him and he does fine. He, too, is a cautious driver, I often tell him to speed up some. The only fault I am concerned over is his driver's ed instructor told him that his body needs to be over the center of the lane.... which on some country roads puts me on the white line.
It is okay to be nervous, but if you're frantic your daughter will pick up on that and it will only make her more nervous.
I understand completely. Thankfully for me DH does the highway with our 15 yr old. I was pretty scared the first couple times I went out with her but it is getting easier. She took the drivers ed class and got her permit and the first time I drove with her I was thinking, did they teach you anything while you were there? When I got my license you took the course, passed the test, went down to the DMV to get your license. If they hadn't changed the rules here, that's what she would have done, and that scared the bejeezus out of me. Hang in there and breathe deeply it will get easier...I hope!
My daughter will be 16 TOMORROW but thank GOD she lives with her father (for now) so he can teach her to drive. Since he is a Truck Driver he Knows Everything about driving...(in his own mind).
Buy her a cheap car and use that for practice. You may feel less precious about little scratches. Try suburban roads with less traffic until you and her feel confident.
Consider swapping with another parent. You may be more objective with someone elses kid.
My recollections as a teen was that some parents just ruined their relationships with their teens when it came to driving.
When my son got his permit a couple of years ago, I made him drive EVERY DAY. It didn't matter how much, just as long as he got behind the wheel every day. Sure it was a little hairy at times (like when he tried to out run the semi-truck onto the highway), but I sucked it up.
I spent an entire evening making him practice getting off and on the highway (after the semi incident, lol). When he went for his drivers test, the instructor said he was the best driver he saw all week.
DH tried to go out with him on occasion, but he made my son nervous. DH would hang onto the car door handle, white faced. lol
He's 19 now, has been driving for two years, has never had an accident (thank God), and his only ticket has been for driving the wrong way on a one way street (new driver, didn't know where he was). Everyone else I know has teens with accidents, cars totaled, speeding tickets, etc.
My 17 year old daughter has no desire to drive yet, but when she does, we'll do the same thing. DRIVE EVERY DAY. Practice helps give them confidence, as well as keeps mom from worrying about them driving alone.
Things I learned when learning to drive (a number of years ago, but still applicable, I think):
1. Do not let her know you are scared, it will only make her self-conscious, and jumpy. I had my most relaxed lessons with an instructor who took me out on a busy road, told me I could do it, rolled down the window, and just chilled out.
2. Get her those little bulging mirrors that can be attached to the side-view mirrors. They're supposed to help with eliminating blind spots, but I also used them to help me get a feel for the size of my car (they let you see where your wheels are in relation to the lines on the road, the curb, etc).
3. Make sure to practice parallel parking. My father took me out to a lot, set up cones, and had me park over and over again. I took my test once I had a 90% success rate, after having parked hundreds of times (those little mirrors helped a lot). Even if it's not part of the test, it will get your daughter to really get to know the car's size.
Then again, everyone is different, so this might not help at all.
I took a course through my high school and my dad helped me to practice since my mother was the worst at teaching my siblings and I how to drive (she took my sister out to drive twice and called it quits).
I didn't get my license until I was 19 though, so for that last year my older brother and sister took me out to practice when my dad couldn't (in other words, they'd take me to the bar with them and get me to be their DD), and a few times my SO would let me drive his car if we were going somewhere around town. I was always a nervous and reluctant driver so my SO would usually wait until the last minute at the bar before we left and then finally he'd have a drink and he's say, "well, guess I can't drive now. You'll have to do it!" My sister pulled that trick on me a few times too.
I remember once when my dad was teaching my brother to drive, my brother drove the car off the road into a ditch and my father calmly told him "And that's what happens when you drive too fast just after it rains. Don't do that again."
I think to trick to teaching someone to drive is for you, the teacher, to stay calm. Don't act nervous, grab onto things, stomp an imaginary brake pedal, make noises or horrible faces because you'll make the learning driver really nervous and that only makes things worse. Compliment them on things they do right, and try not to be too hard on them if they do something wrong.
And like crazyma, I spent a lot of time in empty parking lots as well, especially while I was starting off. My dad tended to gradually build me up to things, and wouldn't take me anyplace he didn't think I was ready. Unlike the Drivers Ed program through my school where they took us on the highway on the third day and we all freaked out.
Also, supposedly, if the person learning to drive learns in a large vehicle they can drive "almost anything". Learning to drive in my dad's giant Towncar and my SO's Grand Marquis really have taught me a few things (other than that the bigger the car gets the smaller the side mirrors are).
Good luck!
I'm hoping to get my motorcycle permit soon. Hopefully you'll have a while before you have to worry about your kid doing the same!
Last edited by Puru; 05-10-2009 at 10:03 PM..
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