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Old 05-08-2009, 01:52 PM
 
165 posts, read 871,247 times
Reputation: 99

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I'm only being slightly dramatic.

My daughter has her permit, took classroom and behind the wheel training, and now needs to practice before getting her actual license. She's very bright and her driving ability is fine for a beginner. I'm just a terrible passenger. I don't like to be the passenger even with an experienced driver. I realize this is largely my issue. She doesn't have a relationship with her dad, and no one really wants to be the passenger with a beginning driver, so grandparents/aunts/uncles/friends aren't going to help us out. I've suggested hiring someone, but she wants to be with me, since she's comfortable with me.

Any advice on how to get over this?
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Old 05-08-2009, 02:05 PM
Gue
 
24,120 posts, read 8,724,688 times
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My kids took a course at the high school.

Does your school have one?

You do still need to be with them 20 hours in a car in NY State. Just try to have her drive at not busy times & on not busy roads.

Good luck!
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Old 05-08-2009, 02:38 PM
 
Location: South Carolina
13,105 posts, read 17,640,353 times
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I felt the same way when my sons started driving thank god my brother was around and he stayed with him till he learned . the straw that broke my back was when my son did a sharp turn in front of a semi . I told him that was it and never again would I get in the car with him and he finally learned without killing anyone thank god and your daughter will too . I hope you change your mind and get back in the car or she may not learn to drive and then you will have major problems . good luck and I hope it works out .
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Old 05-08-2009, 02:39 PM
 
Location: uk
35 posts, read 86,137 times
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your a brave,brave woman.my daughter will have to cough up for lessons in a years time
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Old 05-08-2009, 02:50 PM
 
165 posts, read 871,247 times
Reputation: 99
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gue View Post
My kids took a course at the high school.

Does your school have one?

You do still need to be with them 20 hours in a car in NY State. Just try to have her drive at not busy times & on not busy roads.
She's just graduated high school early so we're going the private driving school route - she has 6 (!!) hours one-on-one with the professional driving instructor (he's EXCELLENT) and then she is supposed to do 50 additional hours with an adult over 25. We don't have to prove the 50 hours so she may do less, but she does have to be competent or its not right for her to be on the road. I read a statistic that kids who do at least 100 hours of practice with a parent have far fewer accidents.

So far we've been driving in the evening, when there are few people on the road, no bicyclists or pedestrians (my major fear, heh), and choosing roads where she doesn't go over 25-30. I can almost handle this. But she can only learn so much this way. I have NO idea who is going to practice the freeways - that I can't stomach!
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Old 05-08-2009, 03:03 PM
 
2,466 posts, read 4,201,759 times
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My oldest daughter scared the living daylights out of me when she was first learning to drive. Like you I'm not a good passenger and when she would take a corner too fast or stop abruptly I had to pull my nails out of the dashboard or the OHSH handle. (We call the little handle above most passenger doors or on the passenger door itself that and it stands for "OH SH**" as a lot of folks grab onto it when someone is going to fast around a corner and it keeps them from flying over onto the drivers lap)

Thankfully my DH was able to do most of the teaching. But when he wasn't able to and it was left to me to ride with her, I just tried really hard to keep my self calm and breathed deep. I swore though I thought I was going to put a hole right through the floor board on the passenger side hitting the imaginary breaks.

As hard as it was for me to stay calm sometimes, I knew I had to in order to keep her calm. I tried really hard not to yell or make those slight panic whimpers. Just keep your voice calm and your instructions clear and you both will get through it just fine.
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Old 05-08-2009, 03:20 PM
 
2,790 posts, read 5,574,897 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sushi66 View Post
I'm only being slightly dramatic.

Any advice on how to get over this?
I got through my oldest's practice driving by making a batch on Vodka Slush and keeping it on hand in the freezer for that summer. I kid you not. I polished it off all by myself, and I am not a drinker! It was cheaper than therapy and tastier than valium. We tend to eat later in the summer so we can work in the garden until almost dark. A frosty glass was my answer to DH's bottle of beer and a nice way to unwind at the end of a stressful day being chauffered around by the next Indy 500 winner! That was 10 years ago and I still only imbibe in an occassional glass of wine.
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Old 05-08-2009, 03:26 PM
 
Location: Georgia
271 posts, read 149,273 times
Reputation: 71
I remember when my father started teaching my to drive,He swore i was going to kill him, he would have said make him go bald but he was already there. It was twice as bad because he insisted on me learning to drive in a stick shift which now that i know how i thank him for. It was an exciting experience learning to drive.
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Old 05-08-2009, 03:56 PM
 
Location: St. Louis Metro East
515 posts, read 1,362,521 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sushi66 View Post
She's just graduated high school early so we're going the private driving school route - she has 6 (!!) hours one-on-one with the professional driving instructor (he's EXCELLENT) and then she is supposed to do 50 additional hours with an adult over 25. We don't have to prove the 50 hours so she may do less
Are you, by chance, in IL? My daughter got her license in August of 08. She still swears that she's the only kid in her school that sctually drove the 50 hours. Everyone else's parents just fudged the numbers. She did need the practice, though. When she took her driving test, the instructor said that she was a very cautious driver... lol She was awesome on the highway, but terrified to drive in town. The close proximity of cars, parked and otherwise, really made her nervous. She got her permit on Halloween, the day my niece was born. To celebrate her permit, I let her drive us to see her, about 30 miles away. She was so nervous that she actually got pulled over for going too slow! Fortunately for her, the cop that pulled her over is the same guy who patrols her school, and he knew her. Everyone got a good laugh out of that except her! (She can laugh about it now.)

In the middle of all this, we moved a couple hours away. Every time we went back home, I would let her drive. She also got a lot of her hours learning to drive in the big city, because we're very close to St. Louis. I made her drive me to the store, mall, etc. It was a great way to get her out and about in our new town. It also made her more confident, which was a big issue.

Now, she's been licensed nearly a year, and she's driving back home for the weekends to see her old friends. Of course, I have people watching out for her...

Teaching a teen to drive can be harrowing, to say the least!

~D
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Old 05-08-2009, 08:07 PM
 
Location: Connecticut
427 posts, read 1,210,566 times
Reputation: 351
My mother drove me nuts teaching me how to drive. And honestly I didn't drive on the Highway until like a year after I got my license. I recommend driving at a random hour like 2 in the morning on a tuesday when there is no one on the road. That's what I did. Back roads are good, and parking lots for practicing stopping and parking.

And try not to grab on to the door handle, or press your foot down as if you have a brake on your side of the car, it just made me more nervous and worse when my mother did that.
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