Do you allow your kids to take part in adult conversations? (divorced, parents)

[33458]

I was allowed to remain, but not to interrupt. I could contribute if it was that sort of conversation and adults would often engage me...but if it was a private matter, nothing any child should be involved in, I was asked to go play while parents had a "serious discussion". I was brought in on some important things and left out of others.

So my answer is, "It depends".

Children should not be privy to gossip or slander. Remember that they will repeat your words and learn such behavior themselves. Ugh.

[Belinda_Cooperstone1]

It depends, if we are having friend over for the evening and it is a social event, No they are not allowed to hang around. Say hi, be polite leave. If it is a Family BBQ with relatives then yes they are allowed to be around. As it is a family BBQ and it should be censored anyway. At our BBQ we all play games together, sports and a good old game of baseball. When the adults have tired out we will go sit down and the kids will keep playing.

[Leilani Vasquez]

Originally Posted by aaronk

i don't let my kids in on my adult conversations, or my wife either. I usually make them hide in the back room until the visitors are gone, and then i untie them.

lmao

[mm_mary73]

Originally Posted by AaronK

I don't let my kids in on my adult conversations, or my wife either. I usually make them hide in the back room until the visitors are gone, and then I untie them.

Cages are better and they don't leave a mark.

[dsh1127]

When we have friends over, their kids and ours will sometimes join in on conversations. We are all fine with it. Actually we have had some pretty fun times with the kids involved! The kids are between 10 & 12, so they are capable of conversing with adults. My daughter has a very adult (not in a bad way!) sense of humor, so she is always good for a laugh! It's not like they hang around the whole time, so we can save the more "adult" stuff for when they aren't there!

[nat_at772]

Originally Posted by bande1102

Just curious, do you allow your kids to participate in conversations between you and another adult? Lately, I've noticed that several of my friends will be discussing something with me and their child (older than baby/toddler/preschooler) will be right there, hanging on every word. This really annoys me to no end b/c I feel like I have to censor everything I say.

My kids have always been taught that when adults first arrive, they are to greet them, make small talk and then scram. They'll usually come back to say goodbyes when company leaves. This is the way I was raised, too.

It depends. My mother pretty much allowed me to stay around while she was talking with her friends - most of the time it was boring anyway - but she never gossiped in front of me or said anything she didn't want me repeating. I knew not to interrupt anyone while they were talking and how to speak to adults in a respectful manner so it was never a problem. Now my grandmother was a different story. If I had so much as opened my mouth to say something while she was talking to one of her friends she would have popped me in it and said "you don't need to mind grown folks business."

[wyoquilter]

I haven't read all of the responses given so far, so I applogize if this has been said before.

Back in the day when my grandmother and even my mother were being raised, children were to be seen and not heard. They were to only speak when spoken too and the answers were to be short and simple.

Well thank goodness those days are long gone as I feel kids should be allowed to be a part of the group if they so wish. I do not send my kids off to go play or leave the room when I'm conversing with adults, unless we adults are talking about sensitive matters not suitable for small ears. My kids are welcomed in the conversations and sometimes they have shed new light or a breath of fresh air to a topic being discussed.

I think that allowing them to be a part of adult conversations has helped their comprehension levels greatly and they have a super vocabulary. It has also helped them attribute ideas and opinions in their classroom discussions.

[okpondlady]

Before the election our extended family was discussing the candidates at the dinner table one Sunday. This is typically one of those times when the children are expected to sit and be quiet. My (at that time) 15 year old spoke up and gave her opinion. My MIL asked her why she thought she should be heard and she said, "Whatever the voters decide will directly impact my future. I will have to vote in the next election and FIX whatever the person that is elected this time messes up." After that, she was allowed to speak. Primarily it was a question of WHY? After she established her interest and thoughts on the matter, it was fine. I didn't think that was out of line from anyone at the table or in the family. That is the way they have been raised.

[pll]

I never usually had to ask my kids to leave...theyusually got bored and did it on their own. When they were younger and I was speaking to an adult I made sure they didn't interrupt (except for emergencies) so maybe in doing that they made their own choice to leave.
Now that they are older I will invite them into my converstations with my friends.
I do have a friend though who ALWAYS lets her daughter stand by and listen to our conversation. Sometimes I will look at her as a hint that maybe she should leave. Her mom doesn't pick up on my subtle hints either. This girl is 10 and she has been doing this for 3 years. I'm beginning to think something is wrong with her because she doesn't want to go and play with kids her little friends.

[kaykay]

Like others have said, "it depends." When my son was growing up, I don't remember ever asking him to leave, but at the same time....I don't remember him ever just hanging around when my friends were there for very long. There are certainly times when adults expect to have some private conversation. Again...I think it just depends on the circumstance.