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Old 10-27-2010, 10:53 AM
 
Location: Western Washington
8,004 posts, read 9,661,231 times
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It depends on the conversation and setting. Most of the conversations I hold with my guests are very much appropriate for children to be listening to. It's a good way for them to learn manners....such as not interrupting. Not everyone sits about cursing and talking about sex and vibrators for cryin' out loud! How are children supposed to learn the art of communicating with adults if they're never allowed in the vicinity. Realistically, all coversations should be couth enough for children to hear....if they're not, perhaps the adults need to learn to clean up their language.

When my children were small, yes, sometimes adults would come over and I'd tell the kids, "Could you go play please, so mommy and x can visit for a while?" I have known so many people who, if they're not at work, are constantly on the phone or visiting with other adults, and they spend virtually NO quality time with their kids.

If you're one of those people who has friends with kids, but can't stand the kids around, get over it and get new friends without kids. I do have to agree though with those who are extremely annoyed with children who have no manners and chime in constantly....especially when they're half listening and don't have a clue what they're talking about. Again though....how are we to teach our children good conversational skills unless we model them?
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Old 10-27-2010, 10:56 AM
 
Location: Western Washington
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hopes View Post
This made me laugh my ass off. It reminded me of how I felt about my girlfriend's boyfriend. She ended up marrying him too. She couldn't do ANYTHING without him. Prior to her meeting him, we would do things together, not all the time but on occassion. We both had lives---she had a boyfriend who was my husband's best friend. I, of course, was married with children. We did lots of things as couples, but the two of us developed a very close friendship separate from our mates.

My point is that we had a friendship that involved doing things together, like going shopping together at the mall on occassion, going to the flea market a few times a year, meeting for breakfast, lunch or dinner at times. Once a year, we would go to the Nutcracker ballet together, just the two of us. We'd dress up and leave our boyfriends and husbands at home for the night. It was our annual girl's night out.

After she met her boyfriend, he showed up for everything. He came to the mall with us. He came to the flea market with us. He came to restaurants with us. It was so annoying. If I was having problems with my husband, I couldn't talk about it with her boyfriend sitting at the table in the restaurant for goodness sake. He even came to the Nutcracker with us. We suddenly became a threesome.

Okay. That was a rant. But I can totally relate to someone being annoyed by having children always around when they are trying to have adult time with a friend. My girlfriend's boyfriend was basically her child in that regard. I couldn't talk around him about anything of significance.

Strangely, I never felt that way about my friends' children. Children usually not RIGHT THERE in the conversation ALL THE TIME. They eventually wander off to do kid stuff. They're in another room. Or they're on the other side of the playground. Or they're swimming in the pool while we're sitting on the edge of the pool watching them.

Children are much less intrusive than a grown man who feels the need to be involved in every single activity and conversation his wife has.
I agree....insecure....paranoid, much? LOL My daughter's ex was that way....OMG....we might be talking about him? He would grill her like crazy about what she talked about with her friends, her mom, her dad, her brother....He'd sneak up and hide around the corner. If he was anywhere on the property, you had to be very careful what you talked about, you'd never know if he was hiding just out of sight and hear 1/2 of what you were talking about, then fill in the blanks with his paranoid delusions.
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Old 10-27-2010, 11:35 AM
 
Location: maryland
3,967 posts, read 5,676,821 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by beachmel View Post
Not everyone sits about cursing and talking about sex and vibrators for cryin' out loud!
Well you haven't met my sister then have you?
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Old 10-27-2010, 11:41 AM
 
Location: maryland
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hopes View Post
We suddenly became a threesome.

And not the gratfying type of threesome either . Did you ever say anything to her, because i have had the same problem before and found that my friends are a bit shocked and didn't even realize it was becoming an issue until i mentioned it. Ie sometimes people are just very very oblivious.
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Old 10-27-2010, 11:44 AM
 
Location: maryland
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Well i mean i have found most kids are not interested in adult topics anyway so it doesn't matter. But if they show an interest then they can join in of course.
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Old 10-27-2010, 12:57 PM
 
Location: Western Washington
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Originally Posted by paganmama80 View Post
Well you haven't met my sister then have you?

LOL....nope! I've bet I've met quite a few folks LIKE your sister though! When those folks "used to" stop by, those generally were the times when I asked my kids to go play. Eventually, folks like that got tired of having their language censored and simply chose to quit coming around. To me, people like that, who'd walk in and start talking like merchant marines in front of my kids, weren't the kind of people I wanted around them anyway. Honestly, it's not as if I don't cuss...but I'd never go to someone's house and start using profanity in front of their kids. IMHO, there is a time and place for everything....children are parrots and if we don't want them repeating something, we shouldn't be saying it in front of them...cuz they're GOING to repeat it...most likely, to exactly the WRONG person and exactly the WRONG place.

I love your post also, that said, that kids, for the most part, find adult conversations pretty boring. I find that to be true too, for the most part....unless of course, it's something that you really didn't want them to hear! OOPS!
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Old 10-27-2010, 01:22 PM
 
Location: maryland
3,967 posts, read 5,676,821 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by beachmel View Post
LOL....nope! I've bet I've met quite a few folks LIKE your sister though! When those folks "used to" stop by, those generally were the times when I asked my kids to go play. Eventually, folks like that got tired of having their language censored and simply chose to quit coming around. To me, people like that, who'd walk in and start talking like merchant marines in front of my kids, weren't the kind of people I wanted around them anyway. Honestly, it's not as if I don't cuss...but I'd never go to someone's house and start using profanity in front of their kids. IMHO, there is a time and place for everything....children are parrots and if we don't want them repeating something, we shouldn't be saying it in front of them...cuz they're GOING to repeat it...most likely, to exactly the WRONG person and exactly the WRONG place.

I love your post also, that said, that kids, for the most part, find adult conversations pretty boring. I find that to be true too, for the most part....unless of course, it's something that you really didn't want them to hear! OOPS!

LOL i am the same....i try not to cuss around my children or in general actually, but find some of my old friends cannot do that.
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Old 10-27-2010, 01:34 PM
 
Location: Brooklyn, New York
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Kids should be seen and not heard when adults are talking, because children and adults aren't on the same level.
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Old 10-27-2010, 02:20 PM
 
Location: Western Washington
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sweetchas View Post
Kids should be seen and not heard when adults are talking, because children and adults aren't on the same level.
That depends on how old the kids are. Frankly, with all of my children, adults actually enjoyed talking to them, still do! In fact, I couldn't count the times that adults, including teachers, confessed to me that they forget/forgot sometimes, that they are/were talking to children, because MY children were better conversationalists than most adults they know!

If my children hadn't been raised having conversations with adults, that never would have happened. There are far too many children, teens, and adults out there who are very poor conversationalists. The question is this....is it because their parents are terrible at it, or that they were never allowed in on an adult conversation?

I was raised being allowed and expected to be a part of adult conversations. I believe that is one of the reasons I did so well throughout school, got along with my teachers, and were remembered by so many of them. Over the last few years, I bumped into several old grade school and jr high teachers. These people knew exactly who I was, after more than 30 years! Each time, I had to ask, "How in the world could you possibly remember me....even my MAIDEN name, after so many years?" Their answers were nearly identical, "Because once in a while, you have a student who stands out from the pack. You were never really a kid, and that made you really stand out."

I have raised my children to be good conversationalists, to speak maturely, if they want to be part of mature conversations and taken seriously. That would not have happened if I would have sent them out of the room every time adults were conversing!
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Old 10-28-2010, 07:30 AM
 
Location: Brooklyn, New York
1,194 posts, read 1,512,668 times
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I am speaking about little children not teens even so when my parents were talking to other parents I knew it was something adult related (bills marriage issues etc). My opinion or thoughts on those matters are adults matter only imo. One thing my parents didn't need was me putting in my unwanted opinion on something that I don't understand. Parents/adult matters>teens/children (im great at speaking btw and have a great vocabulary).
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