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Location: Stuck on the East Coast, hoping to head West
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Just curious, do you allow your kids to participate in conversations between you and another adult? Lately, I've noticed that several of my friends will be discussing something with me and their child (older than baby/toddler/preschooler) will be right there, hanging on every word. This really annoys me to no end b/c I feel like I have to censor everything I say.
My kids have always been taught that when adults first arrive, they are to greet them, make small talk and then scram. They'll usually come back to say goodbyes when company leaves. This is the way I was raised, too.
No, no, no, and more no. My kids were never allowed to hang around when adults were having conversations. My 17 year old daughter will now, if it interests her, but I don't have to hide too much from her. lol
I do not expect my kids to disappear. They are part of the family and are encouraged to participate in conversations with adults and other kids. If we are having a conversation that is particularly adult I will ask them to leave the room so we can talk privately. But unless I ask them to leave they are not required to do so. I usually say something like "We would like to have a private conversation. Can you please go upstairs (or outside) to play so we can continue?"
I don't understand why kids would be excluded from a conversation with an adult unless the subject matter was not appropriate for them.
my kids were always welcome parts of conversations with adults when they were young, and so was I as a child...
I believe this is the best way for kids to learn how to interact with people, and learn in general... although I'd draw the line if a conversation was extremely personal or extremely intense... as for the latter, I'm referring to things such as discussions about intense topics that are in the news at times-- I don't think young kids should be exposed to that sort of thing.
The first thing is that my kids must not interrupt. Sometimes they will call mum, dad as they come into the room to attract our attention but as soon as they see that we are engaged in a conversation with an adult they must stop and be quiet. Actually any conversation even with another child, they must not pester but just stand and wait for my wife or I to complete the other conversation and talk to them. They may say something like 'excuse me I will ask later' and then leave without having to wait for an acknowledgement. That way they are not trapped waiting forever and nor do they seem rude by just walking away before we have acknowledged them.
If I were to discuss something that I did not want them to hear then I would either ask them to leave the room or I would go to a room with the other adult and talk with the adult there.
If it is like a BBQ or dinner party and the adults are talking then the kids can listen in but must not but in with a oppinion until they are asked.
We are very strict on this. Our adult friends will usually invite our kids to participate because they know our position.
We don't make our kids leave when we have visitors or are engaged in conversation with other adults, unless they start to butt in to the conversation. We as kids were never asked to go away either unless we started to butt in to the adult talk. Usually the "adult" conversations start after they go to bed anyway.
We don't make our kids leave when we have visitors or are engaged in conversation with other adults, unless they start to butt in to the conversation. We as kids were never asked to go away either unless we started to butt in to the adult talk. Usually the "adult" conversations start after they go to bed anyway.
I agree. Spending time with adults is how kids develop their vocabularies and language skills.
I allow mine to listen. I might ask what they think, otherwise they have been taught to keep quiet. Lately my youngest has been having issues with this. She has been getting in trouble for speaking up without being asked.
I do not expect my kids to disappear. They are part of the family and are encouraged to participate in conversations with adults and other kids. If we are having a conversation that is particularly adult I will ask them to leave the room so we can talk privately. But unless I ask them to leave they are not required to do so. I usually say something like "We would like to have a private conversation. Can you please go upstairs (or outside) to play so we can continue?"
I don't understand why kids would be excluded from a conversation with an adult unless the subject matter was not appropriate for them.
I agree with this. That said, if one of the kids is chiming in a lot on a conversation that has nothing to do with them (and usually it's something that they have no clue what they're even talking about), I usually suggest that they find something else to do. Not that they have to be out of sight or earshot, but random and unrelated comments are not encouraged.
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