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Old 05-11-2009, 09:19 PM
 
Location: Australia
1,492 posts, read 2,660,301 times
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You know I worry that parents over react to this sort of thing.

To me suspension should be kept for really serious offences and by serious, I mean where other kids were threatened or a child was out of control and needed to cool off, bullying and so on. So I think suspension was over the top.

Now please do not think that I am light on discipline. I am very much in favour of good behaviour and punishment for misbehaviour but I think that wanton disobediance is deserving of far more punishment than an accident and hence I would find out why he did it. Maybe he is being bullied and is afraid of going to the toilet because the bully is there? Maybe the bathroom is disgusting.

If he is doing it often, then I would say that he should already have been told that it was not acceptable and then punished. If this was a first time, then I would say tell him it is socially un acceptable and tell him what the punishment will be next time and that it will get tougher if he keeps doing it.

 
Old 05-11-2009, 09:22 PM
 
Location: I think my user name clarifies that.
8,293 posts, read 22,498,095 times
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I absolutely cannot believe the amount of anger and hatred I'm seeing expressed toward this boy and his mother. Unbelievable.

All this talk about how he's lucky he didn't get arrested, and the threats from one mom about what would have happened if her daughter had been on the playground... Unbelievable.

Come on people, the boy peed on a tree. Was it a smart thing to do? No, absolutely not. Was it sexual harassment or criminal in any way? No. Not unless there's something the boy's mom isn't telling us.


I think suspension is too much, unless this isn't the first time it has happened. If he has been doing this repeatedly, despite warnings, that's a totally different matter.
 
Old 05-11-2009, 09:23 PM
 
Location: Fort Worth, Texas
10,716 posts, read 31,075,857 times
Reputation: 6659
Quote:
Originally Posted by veuvegirl View Post
Just a little history; the main reason I thought the school over-reacted was that my son has been hit three times by bullies. Not only was nothing done by the school, I wasn't even called.

My thought was he should have been sent to the principal's office, sent home for the day and have a stern talking to and grounding by mom and dad.

But I can see from everyone's posts I am definitely in the minority, and people have made some great points, so thanks (to most of you )
One thing has nothing to do with the other unless the abuse he has endured CAUSED him to loose his head and pee on the tree. As his parent if someone is bullying him, I would think you would be down to the school to talk to them and DEMAND something be done. Ask why your son was physically brutalized ON THEIR WATCH, threaten to call DCF if it happens again. DCF is there to protect children, not just from stupid parents but from anyone who harms a child. If a school is allowing physical bullying to go on AND not notify the childs parents then I personally would call DCF and notify them. One visit from that agency and I should imagine they would change their ways.

I don't get your comparison at all.
 
Old 05-11-2009, 09:24 PM
 
Location: I think my user name clarifies that.
8,293 posts, read 22,498,095 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by aidxen View Post
You know I worry that parents over react to this sort of thing.

To me suspension should be kept for really serious offences and by serious, I mean where other kids were threatened or a child was out of control and needed to cool off, bullying and so on. So I think suspension was over the top.
Exactly. So what's the school going to do if the boy does something serious? Suspend him?

This reminds me of the news stories about kindergarteners getting expelled from school because they brought weapons to school - and it turns out those "weapons" were the toy guns that were held by toy army men, or some such thing.

Sometimes common sense is completely absent.
 
Old 05-11-2009, 09:26 PM
 
Location: Fort Worth, Texas
10,716 posts, read 31,075,857 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LML View Post
Wonder if he can write his name in the snow? Boys use to brag about doing that.....50 years ago when people still had a sense of humor about children and weren't so uptight about little boys that they turned a "naughty" action into a criminal one.
AND posibly before men showed up at school yards exposing themselves to children of course. OR maybe it happened back then and no one talked about it. You have to draw a line somewhere.

I used to talk to people seeking mental health treatment, I can't tell you how many men would tell me they would go to a school yard, church yard, playground and watch children and well pleasure themselves.

Someone has to watch out for the children, sorry if this means I have no sense of humor but thats how I feel. The net is being cast wide and yes maybe there are times when it catches someone who doesn't deserve it. My own Father was diabetic and developed a problem with holding his water as they say, there were times on our property where he would pee outside, not because he wanted someone else to see but because he literally because of his illness could not hold it anymore.

If the school this boy attends does not allow your son to go to the bathroom enough, or when he asks, then that should be addressed as well. This has been brought to my attention not only through a thread on this site but because my daughter has complained of it as well. I think teachers forget their bodies are not as well developed as ours.
 
Old 05-11-2009, 09:29 PM
 
Location: I think my user name clarifies that.
8,293 posts, read 22,498,095 times
Reputation: 3869
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lindsey_Mcfarren View Post
AND posibly before men showed up at school yards exposing themselves to children of course. OR maybe it happened back then and no one talked about it. You have to draw a line somewhere.

I used to talk to people seeking mental health treatment, I can't tell you how many men would tell me they would go to a school yard, church yard, playground and watch children and well pleasure themselves.

Someone has to watch out for the children, sorry if this means I have no sense of humor but thats how I feel. The net is being cast wide and yes maybe there are times when it catches someone who doesn't deserve it. My own Father was diabetic and developed a problem with holding his water as they say, there were times on our property where he would pee outside, not because he wanted someone else to see but because he literally because of his illness could not hold it anymore.

If the school this boy attends does not allow your son to go to the bathroom enough, or when he asks, then that should be addressed as well. This has been brought to my attention not only through a thread on this site but because my daughter has complained of it as well. I think teachers forget their bodies are not as well developed as ours.
I absolutely CANNOT believe that you're going to far as to make these comparisons.

A pervert stalking children on a playground is comparable to a boy peeing on a tree?

I'm sorry, but this is absurd.
 
Old 05-11-2009, 09:35 PM
 
Location: I think my user name clarifies that.
8,293 posts, read 22,498,095 times
Reputation: 3869
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lindsey_Mcfarren View Post
Someone has to watch out for the children, sorry if this means I have no sense of humor but thats how I feel. The net is being cast wide and yes maybe there are times when it catches someone who doesn't deserve it. My own Father was diabetic and developed a problem with holding his water as they say, there were times on our property where he would pee outside, not because he wanted someone else to see but because he literally because of his illness could not hold it anymore.
Well by all means, I do hope you called the police on him! You NEVER KNOW when the wrong person - even a girl - might have seen that.
 
Old 05-11-2009, 09:38 PM
 
Location: Denver area
21,155 posts, read 22,162,714 times
Reputation: 35664
The school is protecting itself. And honestly, while peeing on a tree in and of itself, is not the end all, at 9 he should know better. Boys "writing their name in the snow" is one thing if it's done on private property on their own time. During school, the school has rules and doesn't have a whole lot of room for interpretation. A girl in my area got suspended for 10 days. Why? She was in Junior Marines (or something similar), and had wooden representations of guns in her car in the school parking lot. These things looked nothing like guns, they were for drill practice for the Young Marines. Someone reported that they were in her car and she was suspended for 10 days. She was a senior in HS, with a scholarship to the Coast Guard Academy if I recall correctly. Schools do not have a whole lot of latitude for "common sense". This boy, at 9, is old enough to understand the need to use the rest room not a tree. Lesson learned. Done.
 
Old 05-11-2009, 09:48 PM
 
Location: Southwest Nebraska
1,297 posts, read 4,031,147 times
Reputation: 893
When I was in school and about 16 myself and many classmates, male and female would go to parties. (beer) When the females needed to relieve themselves they would get me and have me go with them and shoot the bull with them while they peed.

Never thought they could of been arrested. They all turned out to be highly respected professionals. We did this multible times a year. I guess they trusted me and felt safe so no one else would bother them.

I also peed on a tree in broad daylight when I was about 7 cause could not get to bathroom in time and school was closed on sundays. I must have criminal blood running thru my veins.
 
Old 05-11-2009, 09:50 PM
 
Location: Denver area
21,155 posts, read 22,162,714 times
Reputation: 35664
Um, were those parties during school hours? ......Didn't think so.
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