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Old 05-11-2009, 03:05 PM
 
1,986 posts, read 3,466,057 times
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Tell your daughter she did the right thing, next time don't wait so long to protect herself and leave it at that. It isn't something that needs to be drug out.
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Old 05-11-2009, 03:12 PM
 
Location: Nova Scotia
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I appreciate all of your advice, although I am a little slow posting tonight LOL in response. She is now playing with her chinchilla's and is happy as a clam, I did explain to her that she did nothing wrong, and that we are not mad at her for doing what she felt she had too, my heart just breaks thinking of how she felt at the time.

Icecream sounds like a great idea!
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Old 05-11-2009, 03:28 PM
 
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Anti-bullying packet? Puh lease!!!!!

I realize you may not be able to do anything for your DD but I would ask the principal to tell you what the appropriate action would have been for your DD to avoid being in trouble. I am dying to hear the answer.

I would let her know that you are not upset with her.
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Old 05-11-2009, 03:29 PM
 
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I would imagine it's the district policy for any fighting to result in suspension, especially since there is a distinction in the type and number of days suspended for both parties. I wouldn't buck the school at all since your daughter is indeed guilty of fighting. Having said that, I would let her know that you don't have a problem with her defending herself and that her ISS is all that will be happening to her.

I would indeed consider a meeting with the appropriate people to discuss bullying and the policies around it, completely separate from this particular incident, to get guidance for the future.

It could be far worse. Our previous middle school (we've since moved) has a policy that any student caught fighting will be detained and arrested by the police and sent to juvenile court. It makes no difference who started the fight. It's the highest offense level in our district with a guaranteed suspension and possibility to be sent to an alternative school.
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Old 05-11-2009, 03:38 PM
 
6,455 posts, read 9,504,080 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Belinda_Cooperstone1 View Post
Julia and Mommabear, I did not see your posts when I did my reply. I do feel the same as you two, I am mad and upset at the school, but I also know how they work there and being the only school in town, my options are limited. The principal did say she would send home a anti-bullying info package LMAO, So I will see what it has to say, highlight what I need to and make an appointment to see her. I just don't want my DD to think I don't care that she got into a fight, cause I do, I am also upset she even HAD to.

I would like to have a sit down with her.
You tell that a$$ of a principal that next time your daugher is physically assaulted, you will be calling the police to file charges against the kid and it's parents, and that he should advise the little animal's parents of your intentions. And that he would be receiving a letter from your attorney.

Quite frankly, I'd do that now. This is BS.
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Old 05-11-2009, 03:44 PM
 
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Some schools will even arrrest even if the kid does not fight back. That means that a bully and the victim will be equally prosecuted, regardless of the non-violent approach the one child took!

I would never make my kid "go with the flow" to not cause waves in school. I would be sending letters to the board, attending PTA meetings and bringing it up, sending letters to be published in the local paper, ect, whatever I can to make sure my kid knew I was fighting for them. If its happened more than once, they are NOT protecting your child, especially if the other kid never gets into trouble for until your child fights back. If this is happeniing to your child, rest assured that they are not the only one going through this.

I guess I would see if it continues after she stuck up for herself. This may end it. If not and your daughter gets into trouble again, I would press assualt charges against the bully. Right now, I would investigate what's going on by talking to teachers and principal. If they indicate that they know this is ongoing, I would be very up front with them about their legal obligation to protect ALL children. Tell them if they can't, you'll be forced to step in to do your duty as a parent on legal grounds. Be nice about it but make sure they understand how serious you are. They won't like to hear that. Get everything in writting. Keep a day to day journal of every conversation you have and situation your daughter is in. If this is not stopped now, it will only continue getting worse.

School Bullying - Know Your Legal Rights

Bullying - What Parents and Teachers Must Know
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Old 05-11-2009, 03:48 PM
 
Location: Nova Scotia
458 posts, read 1,136,391 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by steelstress View Post
You tell that a$$ of a principal that next time your daugher is physically assaulted, you will be calling the police to file charges against the kid and it's parents, and that he should advise the little animal's parents of your intentions. And that he would be receiving a letter from your attorney.

Quite frankly, I'd do that now. This is BS.
Actually that was my husbands response. I am going to call the school tomorrow so my husband and I can talk to the principal. I will simply state that if it happens again we will take further actions, and my husband brought up a good point. He said that since this was not the first time this girl picked on DD, and they have record of this at school, they obviously know that my DD had had issues and has taken the "higher" road previously.

We will just have to talk to the Principal, and also ask WHAT was my DD to do in that moment? Like Mommabear said.

But we both talked to DD tonight and she knows she is not in trouble and that we love her very much. I told her if she wanted to talk about it or had any thoughts to please come to me. She is fine now, minus being embarrassed, I told her not to be that she did nothing wrong, but being watched embarrassed her and now she has to sit in the office all day tomorrow.
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Old 05-11-2009, 04:39 PM
 
Location: Upstate NY
1,289 posts, read 2,325,868 times
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I think in a lot of schools, suspension is a load of crap the way they handle it. I remember being suspended in junior high for things I never said or did but the school had a "no tolerance policy" and "had" to suspend me as a precaution in case I did say or do whatever it was I allegedly did. (Turns out, some girl in one of my classes just didn't like me so she made some stuff up to get me in trouble even though I'd never spoken to her before in my life and she didn't get in trouble for anything!)

At your daughters age suspension isn't really that big of a deal I don't think, but someone needs to have a talk with someone about the bullying.

Also, on the bright side, the other girl got a harsher punishment, and in in-school suspension your daughter can get caught up or even ahead on school work.
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Old 05-11-2009, 06:07 PM
 
Location: Minnesota
1,481 posts, read 3,171,240 times
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Now I have to ask.. were the police called and was an assult charge filed on the other girl? this you should do .. THATS protecting your child .. you might have to insist the police file a report but this is a way to show ypur child was the one who was attacked should the need arise ..
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Old 05-11-2009, 06:57 PM
 
6,455 posts, read 9,504,080 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Belinda_Cooperstone1 View Post

She is fine now, minus being embarrassed, I told her not to be that she did nothing wrong, but being watched embarrassed her and now she has to sit in the office all day tomorrow.
Wait, wait, wait! Why does she have to sit on the office all day tomorrow? For punishment? Oh h3ll NO!!!! If the school is making her doing this, I'd keep her home for the day and take her out for a treat.

Oh h3ll no, NOT ON MY WATCH WOULD I LET THIS HAPPEN!
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