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Old 05-13-2009, 12:59 AM
 
Location: Australia
1,492 posts, read 2,655,990 times
Reputation: 1693

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On the practical side, for the bed, I would put her in pullups or you put two layers of bedding. That is mattress, plastic sheet, cotton sheet, cotton sheet, blanket then another plastic sheet, cotton sheets and blanket. The if she has an accidentat night, she can pull the wet lot off and have a dry bed. Important here that she do it her self.

I heard a couple of people warn that this may be evidence of abuse and I have read things that seem to confirm that so I would be very vigilent. I would do it quietly. Observe everybody. Dont say anything as there is a lot of hysteria and men are condemmed by accusations. But I would be carefully keeping watch.
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Old 05-13-2009, 07:55 AM
 
Location: S. Florida
1,100 posts, read 2,586,911 times
Reputation: 1413
Quote:
Originally Posted by Adamson11 View Post
I'm so tired of cleaning pee sheets, pants, and underwear. Scrubbing beds, shoes, and stuffed animals. I have a pup I never had to even potty train. I have a 4 1/2 year old daughter who I've had it with. She used to be such an angel and now she's just the biggest diva on earth. She constantly wakes up every morning and lays in bed until she wets it instead of getting up to use the washroom. She even goes as much as walking into the bathroom standing next to the toilet and looks at me and says "I peed already. I didn't make it to the toilet." But she was right next to it. I have to get on her just to use the bathroom. If I don't remember then she'll never go. Why?? She'll be 5 in 5 months. I never had this type of problem with her. My mom used to take her to the bathroom, put her on the toilet, and wipe her. I stopped all that but why is she not going back to normal? Sometimes she even screams when I ask her to go that she doesn't want to be alone. What the hell am I doing wrong? I am a stay at home mom, I let her have what ever she wants but now have taken the TV out of her room due to the potty problem. I've cracked down on her so much I feel miserable. Absolutely no tv when she has an accident, I even take a toy. She's been potty trained since 2. She did have a urinary tract infection a month ago but was on meds and went away. She was fine for a few wks and now she started again. I'm slowly losing my head. Any suggestions? She's with me all day long 24 hrs a day 7 days a wk. I wake up to her I go to bed to her. She goes to school 3 days a wk 2 hrs a day and has absolutely no accidents. But i take preventive measurements. Nothing to drink in the Am before school. Pee right before she gets in the classroom right when she lets out. It's almost like I'm a drill sergant but she's never going to get this if it's all me telling her when to go. What should I do?
My daughter is also 4.5 years old. She ALWAYS wants me to come with her to the bathroom. She also doesn't like being alone. So I will go with her, and once she is sitting on the toilet, I typically back out and walk away. Sometimes she wants me to wipe her, other times she wants to do it. I don't make a big deal out of it. Also, I am constantly asking her/reminding her to go potty.

I don't think your daughter is doing these things because she's a "diva." She is behaving this way because something is bothering her and she doesn't know how to articulate it. When she wets herself, she is clearly getting your attention (regardless if it's negative attention). So you need to be a detective and figure out what changes that may have taken place (whether at home or in school) that may be bothering her. Divorce? New teacher? New baby in the house? Bullying at school? etc, etc.

**OR she may have a recurrant urinary tract infection.** Take her back to the Ped to get a physical.

Instead of punishing her, I would make sure she goes potty before going to sleep, PLUS stop all liquids 2 hours before her bedtime. Also, first thing in the morning, I would go get, and take her to the bathroom.

Stop blaming yourself, take action and be consistent. Good luck and let us know how things panned out.
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Old 05-13-2009, 08:03 AM
 
2,838 posts, read 8,847,347 times
Reputation: 2857
Quote:
Originally Posted by sandycat View Post
Sounds like a control issue to me. When my daughter would wet herself (and she was 3), I would make her clean it up herself. I would always have to go in after her and really clean, but I'd say, "Take care of it yourself, get your wet clothes in the laundry room, and get yourself dressed, make sure the floor is dry." She learned quick. Not sure about the bed thing. That would drive me nuts. I'd just make sure to have a plastic cover over the mattress. Maybe show her how to take the sheets off and put them in the laundry room. She's old enough to do that sort of thing. Good luck.
I agree with this. Four is old enough to change her own pants and strip her bed. She can also (with your help) start the washer, switch the sheets from the washer to the dryer, and put the sheets back on her bed. This may get tiring pretty quickly if it's a matter of her being lazy/manipulative/whatever. If it's that she's peeing while she's still sleeping, though, then you might just want to put her in PullUps overnight for a few months and then try again.
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Old 05-13-2009, 11:54 AM
 
1,986 posts, read 3,467,677 times
Reputation: 1288
The pull-ups are a good idea. I was going to suggest that you get a few diapers and tell her that's the way it will be day and night until she solves the problem of wetting herself.
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Old 05-13-2009, 12:09 PM
 
Location: SW Missouri
15,527 posts, read 29,252,557 times
Reputation: 21264
Quote:
Originally Posted by Adamson11 View Post
I'm so tired of cleaning pee sheets, pants, and underwear. Scrubbing beds, shoes, and stuffed animals. I have a pup I never had to even potty train. I have a 4 1/2 year old daughter who I've had it with. She used to be such an angel and now she's just the biggest diva on earth. She constantly wakes up every morning and lays in bed until she wets it instead of getting up to use the washroom. She even goes as much as walking into the bathroom standing next to the toilet and looks at me and says "I peed already. I didn't make it to the toilet." But she was right next to it. I have to get on her just to use the bathroom. If I don't remember then she'll never go. Why?? She'll be 5 in 5 months. I never had this type of problem with her. My mom used to take her to the bathroom, put her on the toilet, and wipe her. I stopped all that but why is she not going back to normal? Sometimes she even screams when I ask her to go that she doesn't want to be alone. What the hell am I doing wrong? I am a stay at home mom, I let her have what ever she wants but now have taken the TV out of her room due to the potty problem. I've cracked down on her so much I feel miserable. Absolutely no tv when she has an accident, I even take a toy. She's been potty trained since 2. She did have a urinary tract infection a month ago but was on meds and went away. She was fine for a few wks and now she started again. I'm slowly losing my head. Any suggestions? She's with me all day long 24 hrs a day 7 days a wk. I wake up to her I go to bed to her. She goes to school 3 days a wk 2 hrs a day and has absolutely no accidents. But i take preventive measurements. Nothing to drink in the Am before school. Pee right before she gets in the classroom right when she lets out. It's almost like I'm a drill sergant but she's never going to get this if it's all me telling her when to go. What should I do?
It seems to me that your daughter rather likes being in control of the situation. Which is very much what is going on. She is pulling a power trip here and it appears to her (and somewhat to you, from your post) that she is winning.

My recommendation is to let her sleep in a wet bed a few times. Tell her that you are just "too busy" to take care of it. If she wants to change her own bed fine, but you have better things to do. Make her accidents less important and less of an event and she will soon learn that she does not have mommy jumping up taking care of her at the drop of a hat.

That having been said, there may be a bigger problem than just wetting the bed and you need to find out what it is. I hate to say this (but if I don't someone else will), one of the classic signs of molestation is changes in bathroom habits. I'd take a good, hard look at who is spending time with your daughter and see if there might be a reason for conern. Her behavior is not normal. If she is not pulling a power play here, then there is a deeper problem to be discovered and remedied.

20yrsinBranson
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Old 05-13-2009, 01:06 PM
 
Location: Pittsburgh, PA
2,868 posts, read 8,447,977 times
Reputation: 1500
Quote:
Originally Posted by sandycat View Post
Sounds like a control issue to me. When my daughter would wet herself (and she was 3), I would make her clean it up herself. I would always have to go in after her and really clean, but I'd say, "Take care of it yourself, get your wet clothes in the laundry room, and get yourself dressed, make sure the floor is dry." She learned quick. Not sure about the bed thing. That would drive me nuts. I'd just make sure to have a plastic cover over the mattress. Maybe show her how to take the sheets off and put them in the laundry room. She's old enough to do that sort of thing. Good luck.

This is exactly what we did...and it was a short lived control issue.
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Old 05-14-2009, 10:59 AM
 
15,197 posts, read 16,054,147 times
Reputation: 25103
Whatever you do, I wouldn't be punitive about it, even though you're obviously very frustrated. First, put her in Pullups to save yourself the cleanup. Just calmly say, "I'm not sure why you're not peeing in the potty, but I want you to wear these while we figure it out." Second, take her to the pediatrician ASAP and make sure she doesn't have a UTI and that there is no physical evidence of sexual abuse. If those things check out see if you can find a counselor who has experience with this type of issue. A good one will have practical ideas for both of you.

Good luck to both of you.
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Old 05-14-2009, 11:43 AM
 
1,788 posts, read 4,149,849 times
Reputation: 1232
Quote:
Originally Posted by Adamson11 View Post
I've done rewards, I've done everything you can possibly imagine. She was peeing herself way before I took stuff away from her.
Get her to the doctor and have her checked. Once you rule out physical problems, then take her to a child psychologist. There's got to be a reason she's doing this.
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Old 05-14-2009, 11:56 AM
 
Location: England
1,171 posts, read 2,187,015 times
Reputation: 1007
I think she's just being lazy. She can't be bothered. If I were you, I would leave her in wet pants, leave her bed wet and make her realise how horrible it feels to be wet. I certainly wouldn't let her have a TV in her room. I would let her know - wetting herself is not on. Fullstop. I have 2 children who have never wet the bed. I used to wet the bed when I was little, my auntie was the one who got me out of it. She had me stay over her house and said "This is a lovely, new bed - so if you want to go to the toilet, you must not spoil it" and I didn't. I wet the bed because there was drama going on in the house and that effected me emotionally. But as long as there are no major issues in the house - then your daughter just needs to realise that if she wets the bed she stays wet (for a while) - let her go find some dry pants. Keep talking to her, telling her to really, really try to get to the toilet and keep herself dry. If she does it - reward her and praise her. Just my opinion. Hope it helps.
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Old 05-14-2009, 12:18 PM
 
10 posts, read 30,461 times
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there is no red flags if you read my other posts you would see i'm with her 24 hrs a day 7 days a wk the only people she sees is me and my husband.
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