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Old 05-13-2009, 11:54 AM
 
2,005 posts, read 5,125,974 times
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It's inappropriate since her mother knows that she doesn't want her daughter to wear it. Ok, maybe the OP used the wrong word to describe the gift. Nonetheless, she doesn't want her kid to wear that kind of stuff, and her mother knew it, and bought it for her anyhow, with the line "so you can look like all the other kids". Sorry, but that's not right and she should be called out on it.
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Old 05-13-2009, 12:18 PM
 
Location: Denver area
21,145 posts, read 22,135,031 times
Reputation: 35604
Quote:
Originally Posted by Momma_bear View Post
I was just curious. None of this makes any difference. Why does it upset you so much that I am curious?
Upset?? I'm not upset in the least and I'm not quite sure where you got the feeling that I was upset just because I posted an opinion. I just don't get why the OP needs to defend her parenting choices to you (or me or anyone). And the word "inappropriate" is totally subjective - you used the example of wearing a swimsuit to a conference. Extreme example but ok - YOU feel that it would be inappropriate based on your background, experiences and beliefs. I would totally agree with you on that one (not that it matters a whit) but others may not . My parents felt my wearing jeans to school was inappropriate. There are those who believe going out in public without a head covering is inappropriate. Just because it is not inappropriate for you doesn't mean it is the only way something can be inappropriate.
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Old 05-13-2009, 12:50 PM
 
11,615 posts, read 19,735,299 times
Reputation: 12051
Quote:
Originally Posted by maciesmom View Post
Upset?? I'm not upset in the least and I'm not quite sure where you got the feeling that I was upset just because I posted an opinion. I just don't get why the OP needs to defend her parenting choices to you (or me or anyone). And the word "inappropriate" is totally subjective - you used the example of wearing a swimsuit to a conference. Extreme example but ok - YOU feel that it would be inappropriate based on your background, experiences and beliefs. I would totally agree with you on that one (not that it matters a whit) but others may not . My parents felt my wearing jeans to school was inappropriate. There are those who believe going out in public without a head covering is inappropriate. Just because it is not inappropriate for you doesn't mean it is the only way something can be inappropriate.
All I am asking is what is inappropriate about it. I have said about a million times that she does not need to "defend" herself.
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Old 05-13-2009, 12:54 PM
 
Location: Mid-Atlantic
1,820 posts, read 3,901,817 times
Reputation: 1896
Quote:
Originally Posted by Momma_bear View Post
All I am asking is what is inappropriate about it. I have said about a million times that she does not need to "defend" herself.

I am having to now defend why I feel that it was inappropriate.
Inappropriate means different things to different people,as others have suggested.
I feel that it is inappropriate for a 1st grader (or 2nd grader,etc..) to wear clothing with a pop icon on it to school. The reason is BECAUSE I FEEL IT IS INAPPROPRIATE.
Someone else may see it as just fine.
Some people feel it is inappropriate for children to watch tv all the time,others feel there is nothing wrong with it.
I feel that it was inappropriate for my mother to purchase a gift knowing very well that I would not approve of it...
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Old 05-13-2009, 01:03 PM
 
2,542 posts, read 5,825,517 times
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Momma_Bear: She gave you an answer though--she thinks these type of shirts look trashy and cheap, that is why she thinks it is inappropriate for school:

Quote:
Originally Posted by NYMD67 View Post
...I just think that it looks quite honestly;cheap and trashy...
I don't have girls, but I don't allow my boys to wear Spiderman, X-Men, and Spongebob (and such) clothing because I think those shows/movies are innappropriate for my children to watch. I generally don't allow my children to wear any character shirts because it is purely yet another way to sell brands to children and I think it is inappropriate for my children to be walking ads.

To NYMD67: If your mom hasn't done this before, than I would let it slide more. If it is continually weighing on your mind, then I would just mention to her that you were a bit hurt because the issue to you is more than just a shirt or fad.

I've had friends with mothers or MILs that are continually doing things like this (one grandma gave her vegan granddaughter ice cream!), and mine can be grouped in that! In that situation, you have to speak up or it will never end! (Unfortunately, too often they just don't listen...)
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Old 05-13-2009, 02:11 PM
 
Location: Wisconsin
746 posts, read 1,903,549 times
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HELLOOOOOO!!!! It's just a shirt! Everybody is making way too big of an issue over this whole thing. Talk about making a mountain out of a molehill, jeez......
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Old 05-13-2009, 02:21 PM
 
11,615 posts, read 19,735,299 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NYMD67 View Post
I am having to now defend why I feel that it was inappropriate.
Inappropriate means different things to different people,as others have suggested.
I feel that it is inappropriate for a 1st grader (or 2nd grader,etc..) to wear clothing with a pop icon on it to school. The reason is BECAUSE I FEEL IT IS INAPPROPRIATE.
Someone else may see it as just fine.
Some people feel it is inappropriate for children to watch tv all the time,others feel there is nothing wrong with it.
I feel that it was inappropriate for my mother to purchase a gift knowing very well that I would not approve of it...
Defend indicates an attack. There was no attack. Explain and defend are not the same thing.

I understand why you are upset with your mother. I also understand you feel the shirt is inappropriate. I am not trying to change your mind. You are entitled to feel any way you want.

What I do not understand is what exactly is inappropriate about the shirt. Is it to sexy? Is the character to sexy? Is the character materialistic? Is the character to grown up for a little girl? Is the shirt to short? Is it to glittery? Wrong for the season?

This is not an attack. I really am trying to get at what is so bad about this shirt.

I honestly am trying to find out.
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Old 05-13-2009, 02:23 PM
 
Location: The Hall of Justice
25,907 posts, read 35,012,832 times
Reputation: 42372
I'm with the folks who said they'd just say thank you and let the shirt be forgotten in the back of the closet. I pick my battles carefully and have no interest in this kind of strife. Sometimes we get presents that are tacky, useless, not our taste, etc. Just say thank you and move on.
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Old 05-13-2009, 03:08 PM
 
Location: CITY OF ANGELS AND CONSTANT DANGER
5,409 posts, read 11,077,271 times
Reputation: 2244
man and here i thought the story was going to go a lil like this...

...and when my daughter picked the box up, it began to buzz and vibrate!!!

anyhow. what your mother said was a bit rude. but it is a gift. and it will be your daughters choice to wear it or not. dont inifect her likes with your disaproval. otherwise they will not have a unique personality. as parents sometimes our kids do wierd stuff. when my oldest was about 5 or 6 he put two different shoes on one time. i asked him if he was sure he wanted to do that. he said yes. i let him go to school like that. after school i asked him how it went. he said his best friend thought he was a clown. and the other kids thought he was cool. (they were similar shoe styles just different brands and colors. think chucks and vans.) i thought it was pretty silly, but he did it, and has never done it since.

when it comes to kids clothes, unless it is offensive, i have no problem with what the kids wear. its not till they reach their teens that they have their own more defined tastes.

dont let it bother you. pretty soon they might be wearing stuff that you completely hate. it shouldnt be that big of a deal. as parents there are WAY more important things to worry about.

Quote:
Originally Posted by NYMD67 View Post
Just looking for some honest opinions on a situation...

I will be very upfront here, I am somewhat of a "clothing snob" if you will.
(for my children...)
Now, I do not mean that my children only wear "high end" ,Ralph Lauren,Lily ,etc.... because they do not.
What I mean is that I like different things,I shop alot online in many of the wonderful online stores there are. I do not like Old Navy and usually don't like Gap ,only because everyone is wearing the same thing!
I just like different things,but cute... I do love Lands End,Matilda Jane.. just fun ,cute things for my girls.
What I do not like-at all,is the clothing with Hannah Montana all over it,or any other character or latest "pop icon". I can't stand it actually.
I am lucky that neither of my girls care about it-yet! I can still easily shop for their clothing without much of an arguement from them.
I realize times will change.

Here is the thing... my mother knows that I absolutely do not like the Hannah T-shirts ,etc.. and today is one of my daughter's bday... and what is one of the gifts that my mom buys her? yes-a Hannah Montana T-shirt... I was shocked when my daughter opened the gift but polite and said "oh,it is kind of cute" and my mom laughs and says " I knew you wouldn't like it,but it is time that she starts to wear what all the other kids are wearing !"
Since when does my child have to look like or go along with the crowd first of all?
I am really offended and feel that it shows a lack of respect for what I choose for my children.
I know that it truly is trivial,but I was (I guess I still am!) upset about it.
I feel like it completely doesn't validate me as the parent.

Any thoughts... I know.. I will be prepared for the wonderful responses such as "get over it",etc... but really, just wondering if anyone else would be bothered by it?
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Old 05-13-2009, 03:23 PM
 
Location: NE Oklahoma
1,036 posts, read 2,580,895 times
Reputation: 1080
Quote:
Originally Posted by stormy night View Post
If your mother had given your young daughter a real gun or a butcher knife or something, I think it would warrant being upset, but a T shirt? C'mon. Grow up. She didn't diminish your position as a parent in any way, but you are by your ridiculous reaction.

After fighting this fight for almost 16 years in my oldest daughter's case and 12 in my youngest daughter's case..believe me it does warrent it. My mother does it all the time. She undermines my husband and I at every turn (and it started with little things like this). Stand your ground.

As far as the inappropriate thing... if I decide it is inappropriate for my daughter to wear blue, I expect her to abide by my decision.
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