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Old 05-13-2009, 03:42 PM
 
5,748 posts, read 10,511,564 times
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My first thought is that if your mother did it to raise your ire, a non-reaction will take the wind out of her sails.

My second thought is that your daughter will learn a lot through your example. If you speak poorly of your mother or question her motives in front of your daughter, those words may come back to bite you when you least expect it. (Ask me how I know! ) Furthermore, at some point in her life, your daughter is likely to receive a gift that she doesn't like, maybe even from you, and your example will teach her how to handle the situation gracefully.

Last edited by formercalifornian; 05-13-2009 at 04:26 PM.. Reason: grammar
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Old 05-13-2009, 05:54 PM
 
11,615 posts, read 19,738,691 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by okpondlady View Post
As far as the inappropriate thing... if I decide it is inappropriate for my daughter to wear blue, I expect her to abide by my decision.
Nobody is saying it isn't the OP's perogative to decide what her child will wear. All I wanted to know what WHAT made it inappropriate in her eyes. I am not asking her to defend her position, I just want to know WHAT makes it inappropriate?
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Old 05-13-2009, 08:38 PM
 
2,542 posts, read 5,826,440 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Momma_bear View Post
Nobody is saying it isn't the OP's perogative to decide what her child will wear. All I wanted to know what WHAT made it inappropriate in her eyes. I am not asking her to defend her position, I just want to know WHAT makes it inappropriate?
But she answered you twice!
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Old 05-13-2009, 08:41 PM
 
1,986 posts, read 3,468,971 times
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It is a T shirt for crying out loud, not a bomb. So throw the thing out and get it over with if you can't be mature enough to accept it and put it in a drawer.
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Old 05-14-2009, 09:27 AM
 
Location: Moon Over Palmettos
5,975 posts, read 17,159,270 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by formercalifornian View Post
My first thought is that if your mother did it to raise your ire, a non-reaction will take the wind out of her sails.

My second thought is that your daughter will learn a lot through your example. If you speak poorly of your mother or question her motives in front of your daughter, those words may come back to bite you when you least expect it. (Ask me how I know! ) Furthermore, at some point in her life, your daughter is likely to receive a gift that she doesn't like, maybe even from you, and your example will teach her how to handle the situation gracefully.
Awesome post! Reps your way!
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Old 05-14-2009, 09:43 AM
 
Location: Mid-Atlantic
1,820 posts, read 3,902,322 times
Reputation: 1896
Quote:
Originally Posted by formercalifornian View Post
My first thought is that if your mother did it to raise your ire, a non-reaction will take the wind out of her sails.

My second thought is that your daughter will learn a lot through your example. If you speak poorly of your mother or question her motives in front of your daughter, those words may come back to bite you when you least expect it. (Ask me how I know! ) Furthermore, at some point in her life, your daughter is likely to receive a gift that she doesn't like, maybe even from you, and your example will teach her how to handle the situation gracefully.

I agree and my daughter has no idea that I was upset about what my mother had given her or what was said to me... no idea.
I said it was cute and that she could wear it to play in and that was that.
She didn't ask once about wearing it to school and if she does,again,will be told it can be worn to play in.
I completely agree that our children learn from our actions & words and would never speak "ill" of my mother in front of my kids who completely idolize her
She is truly a wonderful woman and her words caught me off guard because she typically isn't like that...

As I said in my OP, I know it is "just a shirt", but I am the parent,I make the "rules" (for now) about what I feel is appropriate to wear to school. I know some of you don't like that I am using the word appropriate but it is how I feel....

I really just wanted honest opinions (of which I did get! ) and wanted to see if others may have felt as strongly as I did/do about how/what my mother had said to me...
I don't honestly see the need for the reactions of some of the people here,but again,I asked for honest opinions.... for those that can see my point-thanks for the advice... for those that can't... well,thanks for yours as well !
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Old 05-14-2009, 10:21 AM
 
Location: Dunwoody,GA
1,867 posts, read 4,561,601 times
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My MIL bought "Bratz" flip-flops for my 5-year old daughter. I said nothing and then promptly threw them in the trash can after she left to go back home (out of state). If she asks about them next time she's here, I'll probably say that my daughter took them to my Mom's house so that she'll have an extra pair of shoes there "just in case." Totally inappropriate, but why start a fight about it?
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Old 05-14-2009, 12:03 PM
 
1,986 posts, read 3,468,971 times
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The bottom line is, it makes it difficult when you expect others to always live up to your expectations. A mother is a mother, and some have a struggle to not extend her position as a mother into the lives of her grandchildren.

So she disregarded your wishes. I'll bet it wasn't the first time, nor will it be the last. Intentionally or not, when it's your turn, you will do, if not the same thing, something similar, and you will step on the toes of your daughter or daughter-in-law.

It's the curse of the mother.
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Old 05-14-2009, 12:12 PM
 
Location: England
1,171 posts, read 2,187,973 times
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I know how you feel! My mother in law very kindly, brought bags and bags of clothes for my daughter - throughout her childhood, I had to put up with all sorts!!! But I just grinned and bore it! My mother in law wasn't around most of the time anyway - so, she wore my choices - most - of the time. Now my daughter is a teenager -and she makes up her own mind. Thankfully she has very good taste!!
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Old 05-15-2009, 06:35 AM
 
1,577 posts, read 3,268,305 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CMMom View Post
My MIL bought "Bratz" flip-flops for my 5-year old daughter. I said nothing and then promptly threw them in the trash can after she left to go back home (out of state). If she asks about them next time she's here, I'll probably say that my daughter took them to my Mom's house so that she'll have an extra pair of shoes there "just in case." Totally inappropriate, but why start a fight about it?
Agreed. Actually flip flops are so flimsy and 5 yr olds play so hard, it would just be completely believable to say they broke and didn't last more than a few days, "darn cheapo things". She won't know.
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