U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 05-20-2009, 08:43 PM
 
1,091 posts, read 3,234,208 times
Reputation: 1039

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by TrappednHades View Post
Long story short I graduated HS a semester late due to mono. So I am 19 and my graduation is coming up in less than a week. Meaning I still live at home. I have a semester of college under my belt so far and plan on continuing.

I am well behaved. I never go out..no really I mean it. Its either school or home, right now only home because I finished up my college semester last monday.

Right now, I do not have a job but have one lined up to start at the beginning of June, I'll be working as a lifeguard. And I plan on helping my mom out with finances. I do not have a car so she will be taking me.

I know I am relying on my mom for a lot right now and I am living rent free and am not having to pay for anything like cell phone and what not. I will be going on my own plan March '10 when the contract is up. I plan on paying for my portion of the phone bill and helping out with what I can.


Really, I have no place to complain but I am at wits end here and could just about implode from frustration.
My mom is trying to give me a bed time and an internet curfew. She wants me off my laptop by 2am and going to sleep. I know that sounds generous and all but it really isn't. I am a night person, I like being up at night. Plus I turn 20 in less than 3 months. Who does this to a 20 year old?

Its quiet silly IMHO.
Im not out partying all night.
I don't sneak out.
I don't even socialize with people, the people I met in HS are too immature and I rather not be around them.

I am a moderator for frostwire, I am enjoying it.
Its not my top priority and I won't be on as much when my job starts but for right now until June, its what I have to do.

I am getting sick and tired of my mom trying to enforce this. I am 19 and can and should be able to decide what time I go to bed.
I am not up making noise. I am in my room door shut with my lights off, tv off, head phones in, just as quiet as I would be if I were asleep.

My mom simply wants to control me. She has this idea of how life should go and if anyone deviates from it they aren't normal.


I need some help, advice, anything.



Edit:

During the week go to bed by 2am.
During weekends go to bed no later than 4am.
Regardless of time you go to sleep you need to be up by 10am on mornings you donít have to work or go to school.
This is part of what my mom just wrote. She wrote up a list of rules for me.

Yeah, I do sort of "get this".
I was trying to do something similar with my (grown, for all practical purposes) son, until recently.
He was in the habit of staying up all night and sleeping all day, and I just felt, for some reason that I couldn't exactly verbalize, that it would be healthier for him to get his schedule turned around, be awake during the day, get out in the sunshine and socialize with people (normal people, of the sort one meets in the daytime), and not stay awake all night puttering around in his room or worse, going out partying.
It just seemed like a depressing and unhealthy lifestyle.

He, like you, probably took my suggestions about going to bed earlier/ getting up earlier as pointless nagging and being a control freak.

But from a mom's perspective, yes, it makes sense.
Even when our kids are grown, we still worry a lot about their physical health and mental and emotional well-being, and a screwed-up sleep schedule can be worrisome to moms, although it's probably normal for teens and young adults. I remember having great difficulty sleeping at night when I was young. That was when I was at my most creative/ energetic.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 05-20-2009, 08:44 PM
 
Location: Rocket City, U.S.A.
1,806 posts, read 4,995,826 times
Reputation: 843
Quote:
Originally Posted by TrappednHades View Post
While I understand its her house her rules, why make rules like that?

I understand curfew, not coming in at all hours.
I understand contributing to the house, whether it be money or chores or both.
I understand reasonable things. In my case no guys staying over. Be quiet after certain hours.
Things of that nature.

What I don't get is to go as far as giving a bedtime and a waketime and making threats against me if I don't listen.

My question was in the topic, "do you get this because I dont?"
The only thing I do understand is that her motives are selfish and stem from her opinion.
The whole people should go to bed early and wake early and do things in the AM and if you don't do that you aren't "normal" in her eyes
.
The only thing I do understand is that her motives are selfish and stem from her opinion.
Reapply to OP instead.

The whole people should go to bed early and wake early and do things in the AM and if you don't do that you aren't "normal" in her eyes.
She is attempting to prepare you for the real world, where you WILL have to get up early every morning and function responsibly among the general public...and this comes from an insomniac poster who struggles with her own "abnormality".

However, since I was working F/T at your age and working much later than the hours you would rather be playing online...I'd say she has her reasons. Might be a bit wacked, but as everyone else has pointed out, HER HOUSE, HER RULES. Even if she's as you described...over the top...she pays for the Internet, she can control the usage. I'm thinking she attributes your morning sloth to late-night nonsense. Simple.

Get out and experience the joys of adulthood. Then get back to us.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-20-2009, 08:55 PM
 
Location: Chicago
38,691 posts, read 86,838,061 times
Reputation: 29355
Quote:
Originally Posted by TrappednHades View Post
I am glad I stuck up to my mom. She thinks its a compromise but I call it a victory. I don't have to go by some lame "bedtime" and she thinks I am compromising with her...
I hope, for your sake, the day comes soon when you understand that "impetuousness" and "victory" are not synonymous.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-20-2009, 09:01 PM
 
Location: Rocket City, U.S.A.
1,806 posts, read 4,995,826 times
Reputation: 843
Quote:
I told her there was NO WAY I waking up at 10am and that there wasn't any chance EVER that I would be getting up before 12pm, unless I had something planned. I told her it wasn't happening today, tomorrow or ever. And she dropped the subject and told me fine.
I won.

I also told her that I wasn't sticking to her bedtime in the sense I wasn't going to bed at the times she said to. I told her I would go to bed around those times but there wasn't anyway that I was just going to up and drop whatever I was in the middle of at those exact times.
I won again
Wow...even though I find the mother extreme, if my "adult" child said this to me...I'd say "Fine" and then have her bags packed and outside the front door the next day.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-21-2009, 04:51 AM
 
1,577 posts, read 3,267,300 times
Reputation: 530
Personally I wouldn't even tell me parent that I wouldn't do this or that. I would just pretend, wait till she was asleep and then get back up after the coast was clear.

Same with getting up at 10am. I'd get up, let her see me, then go back to my room and go back to sleep. Maybe get a prop like a book to make it look like you dozed off by accident while reading.

Thats just me though, if your really that determined to be rebellious, then you can make it a silent rebellion and have no conflict with Mom at all.

Not trying to encourage you go against her wishes, in fact just the opposite. Just telling you how you can still have your own way without having to have a conflict with her.

I do sorta agree that if you don't really have anything pressing, then what's the point of making you get up and just sit there doing nothing?

Last edited by Jackyfrost01; 05-21-2009 at 05:01 AM..
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2018, Advameg, Inc.

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top