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Old 05-16-2009, 09:09 PM
 
Location: A Yankee in northeast TN
9,483 posts, read 13,339,114 times
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I'd bet the rules are less about controlling you than they are about her needs. You're a night owl and your mom apparently is not. I'm familiar with the problems that can cause.
Quote:
Originally Posted by TrappednHades View Post

During the week go to bed by 2am.
During weekends go to bed no later than 4am.
Regardless of time you go to sleep you need to be up by 10am on mornings you don’t have to work or go to school.
This is part of what my mom just wrote. She wrote up a list of rules for me.
That could be the big problem. It is at my house.
I have a night owl of my own, she's usually a responsable and considerate young adult. Helps around the house, helps with finances to some extent, etc. She prefers to stay up most of the night and sleep late.
But... I tend to be awake by 7 or 8am and I find myself tiptoeing around the house for a while because I'll feel bad if I wake her, I find myself not doing things I'd like to be doing because I'm afraid I'll wake her, and then I feel resentful that her sleeping habits are causing me to feel that way. I don't like the constraint I feel while she's sleeping during the day. So I have that same rule here, the night owl has to be up by 10AM.
The rule applies even when I'm not home because sleeping in late gets to be a habit, then her sleep patterns get all out of whack for weeks at a time. That makes me crazy.

Quote:
Originally Posted by TrappednHades View Post
She is a light sleeper plus she knows I like to stay up late and she'll wake up and come see if I am still up and then she'll get pissed.
Is your house small? I can hear every cough, sneeze, click on the keyboard, and squeek of the chair my kid makes that late at night, when everything else is so quiet. Sometimes it wakes me out of my sleep. It's irritating when I know I have to be at work in the morning. I have walked to her room and told her 'lights out' because I need sleep. I'm not always nice about it either, even though she hasn't really done anything. Just the fact that "it's 3am, you're keeping me awake, go to sleep already!!"

Your mom might be having control issues, or she might simply be feeling sleep deprived and needing you to keep more reasonable hours, for her sanity, which I totally sympathize with.

Last edited by DubbleT; 05-16-2009 at 09:19 PM..
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Old 05-16-2009, 09:20 PM
 
Location: Fort Worth, Texas
10,716 posts, read 31,030,974 times
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I feel for you, I moved back home in my mid 20s after a divorce and my Mother pulled the same things with me, my curfew on Saturday nights was midnight, thats when I had to be home. Mind you I had a full time job and I was never asked to contribute to the finances of the household, my Dad wouldn't have taken it even if I did.

I just ignored her, if she started to rage about it, I would walk out. The thing that was on my side is my Dad wasn't going to help her enforce things like that.

I understand why this bothers you however college is going to be alot more difficult if you have to go out and pay rent somewhere. You might have to do that but take your time to look for a place you can afford, maybe get a roomate or something to that effect.
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Old 05-16-2009, 09:23 PM
 
Location: here
24,469 posts, read 28,730,432 times
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I think it is a bit over the top, however I can understand it if you are keeping her awake, or if she feels like she has to tiptoe around when you are sleeping all morning. As long as you are quiet, and as long as you realize she will be going about her day while you sleep (possibly waking you up) I don't think ti should be a big deal.
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Old 05-16-2009, 09:35 PM
 
Location: Denver area
21,134 posts, read 22,107,592 times
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Another scenario is that while you are up until 4am then sleep until 1 or 2 while she is at work, then she comes home to a messy house and a grouchy teenager who is up all night, sleeps all day and doesn't at the very least contribute toward keeping the house up and helping with chores/cooking etc even if she can't financially assist. Living as a legal adult in your parents house is difficult on both parties. I'm betting your mom still pays for your food, health insurance, auto insurance, internet access, utilities at the least (perhaps helps with tuition/books/exenses also?). Your cell phone bill is quite small compared to these things. You mentioned that you never go out as if that were a point of pride. Perhaps she is hoping by limiting your internet, that you will develop actual "in person" friends and interests. Maybe you are grouchy or she never sees you. It could be that she doesn't get that while she is providing all of this, you aren't doing what you can to make life easier for her (even if you can't help financially).

Last edited by maciesmom; 05-16-2009 at 09:49 PM..
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Old 05-16-2009, 11:55 PM
 
Location: Australia
1,492 posts, read 2,654,296 times
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Can't see much of a future for someone who habitually gets up at 10am.

Maybe a rock star or roadie but in both cases, you need a day job while you organise your career.

My teens (not there yet) will be getting up with the rest of the family most days. Sure they will have the occasional late night or all nighter (with permission) and get to sleep in. But it sure wont be an every day. By 10 am they will be at school or at their job.
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Old 05-17-2009, 12:33 AM
 
2,542 posts, read 5,820,256 times
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She might not be able to sleep well just knowing that you are up--the worry factor. It seems strange, but she might not feel like all is well in the world until she knows you are sleeping.

I don't know if I necessarily agree with putting a bedtime on a 19 y.o., but 2 a.m. is a very late bedtime and seems like it wouldn't be that hard to comply.
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Old 05-17-2009, 01:31 AM
 
54 posts, read 55,901 times
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You think playing on the computer at a late our is dangerous?
Do you assume all teenagers are tard?

Im pretty sure, "playing" on the internet isn't a problem as long as you know how be safe.
And im going into law enforcement so being a tard isn't my expertise.

Socialized has a z, btw.

And I am mature enough that my internet doesn't need to be supervised.


Just shush..you are one of those parents who doesn't treat their kids their own age and you don't know how to parent.
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Old 05-17-2009, 02:11 AM
 
Location: uk
35 posts, read 86,137 times
Reputation: 38
you say you're mature,but you seem to have little respect for your mother.i think her rules seem very reasonable and show respect towards your wish to have a different lifestyle to her......i take it she goes to bed way before 2am.If she's able to compromise on the time she'd like the house to be quiet and settled,why can't you? You are still a teen,being supported by her and living in her house.I hope she finds something very noisey to do at 10 am.
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Old 05-17-2009, 02:39 AM
 
Location: Denver area
21,134 posts, read 22,107,592 times
Reputation: 35503
Quote:
Originally Posted by TrappednHades View Post
You think playing on the computer at a late our is dangerous?
Do you assume all teenagers are tard?

Im pretty sure, "playing" on the internet isn't a problem as long as you know how be safe.
And im going into law enforcement so being a tard isn't my expertise.

Socialized has a z, btw.

And I am mature enough that my internet doesn't need to be supervised.


Just shush..you are one of those parents who doesn't treat their kids their own age and you don't know how to parent.
Beginning to sound very troll-ish......
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Old 05-17-2009, 02:44 AM
 
Location: Chicago
38,691 posts, read 86,797,403 times
Reputation: 29355
Bottom line: her house, her rules. Sucks, to be sure, but that's how it works. When circumstances pushed me back into my parent's home in my late 20s, guess what, I had rules with cerfew, wake-up time and all. It drove me nuts because I'm a night owl like you. (Obviously -- I'm typing this at 4am.) It was an excellent motivator for me to get back on my feet ASAP and get the hell out of there. Just hang in there, it won't be long before you're out of there and you can operate on your own schedule (at least to the extent that your responsibilities will allow).
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