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Old 05-17-2009, 03:51 AM
 
261 posts, read 838,871 times
Reputation: 282

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Quote:
Originally Posted by TrappednHades View Post
You think playing on the computer at a late our is dangerous?
Do you assume all teenagers are tard?

Im pretty sure, "playing" on the internet isn't a problem as long as you know how be safe.
And im going into law enforcement so being a tard isn't my expertise.

Socialized has a z, btw.

And I am mature enough that my internet doesn't need to be supervised.


Just shush..you are one of those parents who doesn't treat their kids their own age and you don't know how to parent.
Quote 1 - In instances of being unmonitored and only using the Internet to "play" absolutely the Internet can be dangerous.

Quote 2- Very condesending for someone so young claiming to be so mature

Quote 3- Wow! First you ask so politely for advice because you are such a mature person in need of help, but now you have the all knowing power to determine someone elses parenting abilities. If you are so smart, why ask a question in a public forum, figure it out yourself.

Lastly, do your mom a favor, MOVE!
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Old 05-17-2009, 07:14 AM
 
1,577 posts, read 3,266,067 times
Reputation: 530
granted he's in her house, but what possbile difference could it make if he was up past 2am on the computer? And how would she know (assuming they have seperate systems and that's she's asleep at 2am).

As long as its not effecting your schooling, I wouldn't worry too much.

As far as monitoring your internet usage, you can delete history, use programs that erase all files and activity since you logged in, again assuming she's not some super computer genius here. Last resort is to get your own computer and lock it down with passwords and what not. You are an adult and have certain privacy rights even in your family's home. If you were in an apartment, the landlord couldn't do all this, so why should she?

I do agree since its her home she has certain rights and expectations and rules for the house in general. Thats no problem. But the things you listed seem extreme (again assuming your doing well in school, etc)

Just to add: even the mililtary doesn't have those kind of restrictions on its members. The Army could care less if your up past whatever time doing whatever and there is no curfew. All you "have" to do is be on time for morning formation.

Last edited by Jackyfrost01; 05-17-2009 at 08:26 AM..
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Old 05-17-2009, 08:22 AM
 
Location: Here... for now
1,747 posts, read 2,618,878 times
Reputation: 1208
Quote:
Originally Posted by TrappednHades View Post
You think playing on the computer at a late our is dangerous?
Do you assume all teenagers are tard?

Im pretty sure, "playing" on the internet isn't a problem as long as you know how be safe.
And im going into law enforcement so being a tard isn't my expertise.

Socialized has a z, btw.

And I am mature enough that my internet doesn't need to be supervised.


Just shush..you are one of those parents who doesn't treat their kids their own age and you don't know how to parent.
Whoa, Trapped... this is not the same tone you used in your OP. This post sounds rather bratty. Are you sure this is how you want to present yourself?
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Old 05-17-2009, 08:30 AM
 
756 posts, read 1,945,323 times
Reputation: 621
Quote:
Originally Posted by QwertyFarmer View Post
Quote 1 - In instances of being unmonitored and only using the Internet to "play" absolutely the Internet can be dangerous.

Quote 2- Very condesending for someone so young claiming to be so mature

Quote 3- Wow! First you ask so politely for advice because you are such a mature person in need of help, but now you have the all knowing power to determine someone elses parenting abilities. If you are so smart, why ask a question in a public forum, figure it out yourself.

Lastly, do your mom a favor, MOVE!
Love this post and I completely agree with it!

To the OP your maturity (or lack of it) has reared its head! I consider you lucky...I am an early to bed, early to rise parent. When my teens are loud or keep me up at night I wake them up when I get up in the morning.

FYI the internet is dangerous. Even for adults...
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Old 05-17-2009, 11:33 AM
 
28,906 posts, read 45,202,743 times
Reputation: 45815
Quote:
Originally Posted by TrappednHades View Post
Long story short I graduated HS a semester late due to mono. So I am 19 and my graduation is coming up in less than a week. Meaning I still live at home. I have a semester of college under my belt so far and plan on continuing.

I am well behaved. I never go out..no really I mean it. Its either school or home, right now only home because I finished up my college semester last monday.

Right now, I do not have a job but have one lined up to start at the beginning of June, I'll be working as a lifeguard. And I plan on helping my mom out with finances. I do not have a car so she will be taking me.

I know I am relying on my mom for a lot right now and I am living rent free and am not having to pay for anything like cell phone and what not. I will be going on my own plan March '10 when the contract is up. I plan on paying for my portion of the phone bill and helping out with what I can.


Really, I have no place to complain but I am at wits end here and could just about implode from frustration.
My mom is trying to give me a bed time and an internet curfew. She wants me off my laptop by 2am and going to sleep. I know that sounds generous and all but it really isn't. I am a night person, I like being up at night. Plus I turn 20 in less than 3 months. Who does this to a 20 year old?

Its quiet silly IMHO.
Im not out partying all night.
I don't sneak out.
I don't even socialize with people, the people I met in HS are too immature and I rather not be around them.

I am a moderator for frostwire, I am enjoying it.
Its not my top priority and I won't be on as much when my job starts but for right now until June, its what I have to do.

I am getting sick and tired of my mom trying to enforce this. I am 19 and can and should be able to decide what time I go to bed.
I am not up making noise. I am in my room door shut with my lights off, tv off, head phones in, just as quiet as I would be if I were asleep.

My mom simply wants to control me. She has this idea of how life should go and if anyone deviates from it they aren't normal.


I need some help, advice, anything.



Edit:

During the week go to bed by 2am.
During weekends go to bed no later than 4am.
Regardless of time you go to sleep you need to be up by 10am on mornings you don’t have to work or go to school.
This is part of what my mom just wrote. She wrote up a list of rules for me.
Well, here's the deal. Biologically, you're an adult, but emotionally you've decided to remain a dependent on your parent. That in and of itself is not a bad thing, but you can't expect to continue living with your parents and do whatever the heck you want. And paying a small amount of money doesn't buy you the right to do whatever.

If you want freedom, you need to earn it. Work a real job that pays real money. Pay for an apartment, even if it means getting a roommate. But if you're living at home and paying a pittance towards the expenses of running the household, then you're really in no position to complain.

In short, her house, her rules.
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Old 05-17-2009, 11:58 AM
 
2,222 posts, read 9,138,912 times
Reputation: 3225
Quote:
Originally Posted by TrappednHades View Post
You think playing on the computer at a late our is dangerous?
Do you assume all teenagers are tard?

Im pretty sure, "playing" on the internet isn't a problem as long as you know how be safe.
And im going into law enforcement so being a tard isn't my expertise.

Socialized has a z, btw.

And I am mature enough that my internet doesn't need to be supervised.


Just shush..you are one of those parents who doesn't treat their kids their own age and you don't know how to parent.
And our, has an H.
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Old 05-17-2009, 12:40 PM
 
1,122 posts, read 1,967,134 times
Reputation: 731
Quote:
Originally Posted by aidxen View Post
You should obey your mom.
You live at home and are dependant on her and you should obey her rules.
You should get out and meet people and have a life.

Up till 2am playing on a computer seems dangerous to me.

Having strict parents, a curfew and limits on internet do not stop you having a life. If I was your mom, I would be concerned. I would be trying to make sure you went out and socialised with people.

At 19 and still at school, I would give you a curfew and I woudl supervise your internet and you sure would not be on the net at 2am.
I remember this point in my life and it was nice to just sit and chill a little bit, take a deep breath, take a little independence and be alone to think about life and where I was headed. It was the later part of the summer and fall after I graduated HS. This was a valuable time for me and, while I did live on my own and had a job, it lasted about four months without really socializing much with friends or family other than a few phone calls. With so many pressures coming in from all sides, teachers, parents, siblings, boyfriend (or girlfriend) and their parents and their other relatives you gotten to know, grandparents, aunts, uncles, family friends, friends, friends parents, all asking your whats next and offering suggestions that they think would be good for you, sometimes you just need a bit to think it all out and decide what you really want in life. Just all this racing through my head would keep me up late into the night thinkign about it in the dark.

I moved out before I graduated because of some of the things my parents were doing....10 pm bedtime, no lights on past 10 even to do homework, no radio what so ever, not allowed to use the family computer to finish school work, no going out at all, not even outside to enjoy the sunshine, not allowed to go to track practice (we prevented me from participating in meets, all the potential I had that year for a possible scholarship were shot because of them), and doing all the house chores to the point where I did not have the time to do homework, my final straw was when my parents shut off the electric to my room (I was doing homework at 10:30). My parents claimed I was disturbing my siblings at bedtime, even though they weren't going to bed, (one was listening to music and other playing video games) and I had made no noise except a pencil on a piece of paper since they had taken away my radio and tv (which I had paid for myself and would never play loudly as I have a sensitivity to loud noises.) The next day my father thought he'd talk some sense into me. I stood up for myself and said it wasn't right that I was washing the laundry for a family of 7, cooking two to three meals a day for them, cleaning the entire house, and raising two of my siblings. I said that I would not do more than the chores that were assigned to me before my 18th b-day (which was the turn point for all this) and that school would be my focus so that I could graduate with my class without failing any classes. I told him I hated living there and I wanted to move out. He slapped me across the face and I was completely moved out two days later. The whole while he kept trying to tell me that he would call the cops on me, call me a run away, and said that he could until I was graduated. I knew he had no ground and I only had 6 weeks of school left. I can't believe I made it that long!

If I had the expectations that the OP had, I think that I would have been able to follow them because I wouln't have been up past that time anyway, lol. It depends on the kids. Especially boys this age. I read a study on this once. During the teen years, the internal clocks are changing and things are all messed up do to all the growth and hormones. Girls have reached their physical maturity by 19 but boys are still growing. Their biological clocks are still reworking and it is nature that keeps them going at these hours.

If I was the OP, I would be less annoyed that my mother was concerned but maybe do some research and present it to her. Say that you're not trying to be a wild or irresponisble kid and that hopefully you're current lifestyle/goals is one that makes her proud of the son she raised. Definitely help around the house. Surprise her and make her dinner. Get up early sometime and make you both pancakes and have breakfast together. The time for these moments is fading fast. Make memories that you're mom will remember when she feel like that is all has left to hang onto. The sappy, empty nest moments will linger longer than your desire to go back home, that is for sure. I sure wish I would have felt safe to stay at home and not be pushed into the real world completely unequipped with the feeling like I could never, ever turn back.
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Old 05-17-2009, 02:50 PM
 
Location: Maine
398 posts, read 1,132,687 times
Reputation: 219
Quote:
Originally Posted by TrappednHades View Post
You think playing on the computer at a late our is dangerous?
Do you assume all teenagers are tard?

Im pretty sure, "playing" on the internet isn't a problem as long as you know how be safe.
And im going into law enforcement so being a tard isn't my expertise.

Socialized has a z, btw.

And I am mature enough that my internet doesn't need to be supervised.


Just shush..you are one of those parents who doesn't treat their kids their own age and you don't know how to parent.
Not in Australia. We Americans spell some words differently than other English speaking nations.

You've completely changed your tone from responsible young adult to a bratty teenager. You've certainly lost some sympathy, for what that's worth.
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Old 05-17-2009, 03:29 PM
 
54 posts, read 55,901 times
Reputation: 22
Quote:
Originally Posted by DubbleT View Post
I'd bet the rules are less about controlling you than they are about her needs. You're a night owl and your mom apparently is not. I'm familiar with the problems that can cause.

That could be the big problem. It is at my house.
I have a night owl of my own, she's usually a responsable and considerate young adult. Helps around the house, helps with finances to some extent, etc. She prefers to stay up most of the night and sleep late.
But... I tend to be awake by 7 or 8am and I find myself tiptoeing around the house for a while because I'll feel bad if I wake her, I find myself not doing things I'd like to be doing because I'm afraid I'll wake her, and then I feel resentful that her sleeping habits are causing me to feel that way. I don't like the constraint I feel while she's sleeping during the day. So I have that same rule here, the night owl has to be up by 10AM.
The rule applies even when I'm not home because sleeping in late gets to be a habit, then her sleep patterns get all out of whack for weeks at a time. That makes me crazy.

Is your house small? I can hear every cough, sneeze, click on the keyboard, and squeek of the chair my kid makes that late at night, when everything else is so quiet. Sometimes it wakes me out of my sleep. It's irritating when I know I have to be at work in the morning. I have walked to her room and told her 'lights out' because I need sleep. I'm not always nice about it either, even though she hasn't really done anything. Just the fact that "it's 3am, you're keeping me awake, go to sleep already!!"

Your mom might be having control issues, or she might simply be feeling sleep deprived and needing you to keep more reasonable hours, for her sanity, which I totally sympathize with.


My brother plays piano and guitar (plugged into his amp) even when I am asleep. I am a deep sleeper, she doesnt worry about waking me up.
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Old 05-17-2009, 03:34 PM
 
54 posts, read 55,901 times
Reputation: 22
Quote:
Originally Posted by QwertyFarmer View Post
Quote 1 - In instances of being unmonitored and only using the Internet to "play" absolutely the Internet can be dangerous.

Quote 2- Very condesending for someone so young claiming to be so mature

Quote 3- Wow! First you ask so politely for advice because you are such a mature person in need of help, but now you have the all knowing power to determine someone elses parenting abilities. If you are so smart, why ask a question in a public forum, figure it out yourself.

Lastly, do your mom a favor, MOVE!

Why would my internet need to be supervised?
Wtf do YOU mean by play? I myspace(with friends I know IRL), I facebook ( with people I know in real life), I IM. I am a moderator for frostwire.

Why would I need to be supervised? And what and how would you supervise?


You said it like if I wasn't supervised then Id be getting into trouble.
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