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Old 05-23-2009, 06:58 AM
 
Location: Norwood, MN
1,828 posts, read 3,283,821 times
Reputation: 871

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Ive said this often before and I will say it again. A solid majority of parents are not ready, either due to financial, mental, or emotional reasons to become parents. But unfortunately they become parents anyway. I will admit I would have made a lousy parent. But I am a very good grandfather!!!! My wife had a son who was 18 when I met her, and years later he and his wife have given us two lovely grandchildren.
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Old 05-23-2009, 07:06 AM
 
1,577 posts, read 3,270,450 times
Reputation: 530
providing an income to keep a roof over your head and food on the table and not risking losing that is part of being a good parent, as well. There has to be some leeway on both ends.
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Old 05-23-2009, 07:32 AM
 
901 posts, read 2,614,986 times
Reputation: 562
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jackyfrost01 View Post
What if:

you can't afford paid help

and the family you refer to also works or lives far away?
These factors should be a consideration before you decide to have children. You are really putting yourself in a hard spot if you decide to have a child by yourself with no support and very little money. If this is the case, you need to find a job that allows you more flexability. At the very least, you should be making friends with your neighbors and exchanging babysitting services with them if you cannot afford to pay.

A child should not have to suffer in school when he/she is ill. Realistically, most children don't get ill in school very often (unless they have ongoing health problems). So, if you can't pick them up or have someone pick them up the 1 or 2 times a year it happens, then something in your life has to change.
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Old 05-23-2009, 08:09 AM
 
Location: The Hall of Justice
25,907 posts, read 35,048,984 times
Reputation: 42372
Sam, I think you are being over simplistic. Hindsight is always 20/20, and I bet every parent "should have thought" about something before a kid is born. The problem is not what someone should have done 5 or 8 or 12 years ago--the problem is what to do now. And do you really think that in this economy, many people have the luxury of just getting another job? Hey, just get a job with the same benefits and pay but with more flexibility! Why didn't I think of that? I'm going to run out right now and get one.
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Old 05-23-2009, 08:16 AM
 
901 posts, read 2,614,986 times
Reputation: 562
Quote:
Originally Posted by JustJulia View Post
Sam, I think you are being over simplistic. Hindsight is always 20/20, and I bet every parent "should have thought" about something before a kid is born. The problem is not what someone should have done 5 or 8 or 12 years ago--the problem is what to do now. And do you really think that in this economy, many people have the luxury of just getting another job? Hey, just get a job with the same benefits and pay but with more flexibility! Why didn't I think of that? I'm going to run out right now and get one.
That's not what I am saying. I gave four different suggestions (a family member, paid help, a more flexable job, a neighbor). Something has to be done. If your child were very sick would you just say, "oh well, suck it up". Many jobs would understand if you had to leave one or two times in a year. I think that people who say my boss would fire them if they left once are exaggerating (of course give proper notice). My boss (principal) is not known for being kind hearted, but she would understand.
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Old 05-23-2009, 08:45 AM
 
Location: Eastern time zone
4,469 posts, read 6,171,590 times
Reputation: 3481
Quote:
Originally Posted by *Danielle* View Post
They always made us fill out a 'back-up' call list. We have to provide 3 names of people we trust to pick up our kids if we are not able too...

Do they not do that there?

That's not much help for a family who's just moved to the area and doesn't have three people willing to drop everything and pick up a sick kid.
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Old 05-23-2009, 08:48 AM
 
3,842 posts, read 9,253,027 times
Reputation: 3177
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sam82 View Post
These factors should be a consideration before you decide to have children. You are really putting yourself in a hard spot if you decide to have a child by yourself with no support and very little money. If this is the case, you need to find a job that allows you more flexability. At the very least, you should be making friends with your neighbors and exchanging babysitting services with them if you cannot afford to pay.

A child should not have to suffer in school when he/she is ill. Realistically, most children don't get ill in school very often (unless they have ongoing health problems). So, if you can't pick them up or have someone pick them up the 1 or 2 times a year it happens, then something in your life has to change.
Do you have children?
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Old 05-23-2009, 08:48 AM
 
1,135 posts, read 1,987,389 times
Reputation: 1478
Default At our school they require an emergency contact phone number

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jackyfrost01 View Post
What if:

you can't afford paid help

and the family you refer to also works or lives far away?

Yes, sometimes you can't pick up a child right away because you work far from home, or in the case of a teacher, you need to wait for someone to cover for you. That's understandable.

But no extremely sick child should be forced to spend the rest of the day in school because their parent didn't think ahead. How would you feel if you were vomiting or shivering with fever for hours in a nurse's office.

If you know you can't leave work in an emergency situation, then you should provide the phone number of an emergency contact that could pick up your child. Our school requires this. I'm not talking about a paid caregiver, but a relative or friend that would do this free of charge.

Being a responsible parent requires you to address your child's needs in all circumstances, both ones that require you to think days, months and years ahead and emergency situations that suddenly come up.

I won't back down from my opinion that parents should not drop off sick kids at school or refuse to pick up a child that has become ill. If you believe it's OK to do this, you're entitled to your opinion. I just don't share it.
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Old 05-23-2009, 08:57 AM
 
Location: Eastern time zone
4,469 posts, read 6,171,590 times
Reputation: 3481
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lindsey_Mcfarren View Post
Its very true that the night before they seem fine and then once they are at school something goes wrong but THEN its your responsibility to go and get your kid or have someone set up to take care of your kid. I'm not talking about how they feel the night before, I am talking about a kid throwing up all over the school. Leaving a kid IN SCHOOL once they start throwing up is just crazy.

I have seen my own daughter not feeling well the night before, I always wait to see how she feels in the morning.

The person I was attacking got called at I assume at work when their daughter was throwing up AT SCHOOL and she declined to come and get her. Thats just uncalled for. However long it takes you to get there, this person should have gotten her child out of that school. If you work too far away then the responsible thing to do is have another person in place to pick up your kid.

I didn't have much money and I was a single parent and I managed to have someone who could pick Diane up and take care of her if she got sick at school AND take care of her for the full day when it started out that she was too sick to go to school.

When I was working, I was the often the only licensed RN on the unit. Had I just picked up and left my patients, not only would I have lost my job, I quite possibly might have lost my license.

Calling in an on-call nurse to cover me would have taken up to an hour, and then my commute time to the kids' school was nearly another hour. At this point, even making plans immediately would have rated me CPS bait in your book.

As for how I did handle it...honestly, I didn't. I was lucky to have obscenely healthy kids at the time, and the issue never came up. But just because I didn't have to make that call, I'm not going to trash those who did.

As for the youngest two...I don't work there now, and we homeschool. If somebody's sick, he can either do math with a barf bag next to him, or hang out on the couch and sleep through Spongebob. Math can wait, sometimes. Problem solved.
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Old 05-23-2009, 09:03 AM
 
901 posts, read 2,614,986 times
Reputation: 562
Quote:
Originally Posted by 121804 View Post
Do you have children?
Nope. I have seen how others have handled the situation (single parents and married couples). My BF and I have also discussed this issue.

I'm surprised that so many parents are protesting that their children should be picked up from school if the child is SERIOUSLY ill.
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