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Well, I DO have a hard time with the idea that a school can tell you that you have to invite an entire class to my children's birthday parties but I don't really have a problem with a request from the school to mail out "private" invites.
I would think that common sense would dictate showing some courtesy & mailing out the invites to the classmates who are invited. While I believe children don't need to be coddled as much as it seems is done these days, I also don't think we have to purposefully subject children to being teased for not receiving invitations being handed out in class.
I remember feeling bad and giving out my invites behind the scenes in elementary school because certain girls weren't being invited.
Someone inevitably gets hurts so I still stand by parents helping children to deal with such situations gracefully - on both sides.
Here's the deal: My son is turning 9 in a couple of weeks. I'm thinking of having a simple pool party for him (that's what he really wants). If we invited his whole class (like pretty much everybody else has), it would be over 30 kids!!! I simply can't supervise or entertain 30+ kids in a medium sized pool for 2 hours! Quite frankly, I don't even think that it is very safe. I'm thinking of having the party after school is out for the summer. Do you think there will be a lot of hurt feelings/misunderstandings/anger??? Or should I bite the bullet and invite everyone (which includes kids my son is not particulary "best buds" with)?
What would you do???
I would only invite his real friends. 9 is old enough to determine who is what to whom. There is no rational reason to include the entire class...(the everyone gets a medal disease.)
have your son get the phone numbers of the children he wants to attend, or have him supply yours for the parents to call...
Why not offer a conpromise? Have a party for the kids in his class and an after party for a few chosen ones. We do this often with the girls and slumber parties. I would call the children's parents who are invited to the after party and specifically tell them what you are doing (safety concerns with large groups being the main reasoning) And ask that they bring the swimming gear directly to you at drop off so that the other children won't feel left out.
That's what my mother used to do...send in cupcakes for everyone but only have my pals at the party.
Wow - glad my kids are older I guess. I loved the whole bringing cupcakes in thing. We would make them up the night before then DD or DS would be antsy with anticipation and just to see the look on their face when I came into the room with boxes of cupcakes! What happy times those were. Except for the one time when the dog pulled the cupcakes (packaged in gift boxes to keep them from getting squished) off the table while I was gone for 5 minutes....yep - frosted cupcakes, topped with those sour worm things (must've been for DS). Not a pretty site. LOL - much funnier in retrospect than at the time (the dog puked but was fine btw). DS got grocery store cupcakes that year.
From what I'm reading, a lot of schools are banning the cupcakes now. Maybe you're supposed to send in carrots and celery? Wow, Happy Birthday .
Ah yes - allergies and all that...sugar.
My daughter is not allowed to consume chocolate, often having to refuse cookies, candy and cake...but she deals with it pleasantly enough, knowing I will have something vanilla for her at home to make up for it.
Man...what can ya send in when you can't send in anything that might be a trigger? Water. Everybody gets water. With a ribbon and bow. No balloons. Latex. BAD. Happy Birthday!
I understand the 'classroom' rule - that's not out-of-line...don't deliberately snub some classmates in class, causing friction and isolation in front of everybody else - it's an unnecessary disruption...but to expand upon that to include the periods in between classes or in the cafeteria...when it could be done politely...that's taking it a bit far. Really - I'd be asking for clarification.
From what I'm reading, a lot of schools are banning the cupcakes now. Maybe you're supposed to send in carrots and celery? Wow, Happy Birthday .
Our school district banned cupcakes AND birthday celebrations last year. We actually had the 'cupcake' police who would go from classroom to classroom making certain that no child snuck in some of the hard stuff -- cake and cookies! My heart went out to the littlest -- the K's -- their first year in school and no parties, no treats.
The district did an about face on the party and treat policy this year.
My daughter is not allowed to consume chocolate, often having to refuse cookies, candy and cake...but she deals with it pleasantly enough, knowing I will have something vanilla for her at home to make up for it.
Man...what can ya send in when you can't send in anything that might be a trigger? Water. Everybody gets water. With a ribbon and bow. No balloons. Latex. BAD. Happy Birthday!
I understand the 'classroom' rule - that's not out-of-line...don't deliberately snub some classmates in class, causing friction and isolation in front of everybody else - it's an unnecessary disruption...but to expand upon that to include the periods in between classes or in the cafeteria...when it could be done politely...that's taking it a bit far. Really - I'd be asking for clarification.
My daughter's class has some highly allergic children. The school tries to place the 'allergy friends' together. The first year we experienced this, we asked the allergy parents to draw up a list of what was safe for birthdays and celebrations. There was a total of 3 items. It made our lives much easier for planning school parties, as well as made it easier for the allergy monitor.
Oh hey now.. a nice fruit salad is a great healthy class treat. Fruit, yogurt, and granola parfaits are good, too! Healthy food doesn't have to be gross. (And every special occasion food doesn't need to be loaded with sugar and fat, either! Wonder why we have an obesity issue? Happy Times are always celebrated with Junk Food!).
WAY back on this thread, someone suggested that since he's 9, invite 9 kids. That seems like a good idea. Send the invites out via snail mail or email or phone the parents of the other kids. I wouldn't hand them out in school, policy or not, because it's rude, plain and simple.
I have never heard of any school, public or private, that actually dictated to parents that they must invite the entire class to any event held off campus. Would the kids also be required to invite the whole class to an after-school play date? A sleep-over? A trip to the movies? I just can't see that being an actual policy in any school, and REALLY can't see anyone enforcing it. More likely, the parents misunderstood the school's policy of not handing out invitations to a selected few as a requirement that all must be invited.
From what I'm reading, a lot of schools are banning the cupcakes now. Maybe you're supposed to send in carrots and celery? Wow, Happy Birthday .
The tradition at our elementary is Krispy Kreme doughnuts. My kids are going to have heart attacks before they hit middle school!
I like the idea of a treat for all at school and then a party at home for only the child's closest friends.
For healthier cupcakes, check the library for any of the Sneaky Chef cookbooks.
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