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My daughters' schools also have this policy, at least how I'm interpreting it. Their policy is that you can't hand out invitations at school unless you invite everyone. It's the old "bring enough for everyone" chestnut. They don't care about invitations by mail, sent on your own time and with your own money. That's all.
And mom can stand up at the school waiting on her own princess to get out and hand the invitation to the other mom if so be. They can not stop you from doing that.
The schools can not enforce this rule at all. Sure they can say that no one can hand out invitations at school or such, okay. And yes, I have heard of a school that wanted you to invite the entire class even if you MAILED the invitations. But to say you MUST invite the entire class............ what's next, you must invite the ENTIRE grade. What if there are several sets of twins in that grade and one is in the class w/ the birthday kid and then the twin finds out he wasn't invited and he tells HIS classmates and lil johnny thought he was good friends w/ the birthday boy cause they play at recess. So he gets upset and goes home and tells mom and mom gets all upset and goes to the school and complains. Then you have the twins that one was invited and one was not. The kids in the other classes that play w/ bday kid at recess all upset. So are the birthday parents going to have to invite SIBLINS and multiples of those in their kids class. This thing can snowball to a point that you might as well invite the ENTIRE SCHOOL because someone is going to get "left out". Then we might as well just cancel birthday parties all together. Again, this whole thing probably got started because a MOTHER got her feelings hurt and made her own child cry. The pathetic "oh why did they not invite YOU" drama the MOTHER caused.
Again, if the school is footing the bill then they can dictate how large the party is that YOU are hosting that is NOT on school time.
I'd LOVE to see a school try to enforce this rule and a parent stand up to them.
And mom can stand up at the school waiting on her own princess to get out and hand the invitation to the other mom if so be. They can not stop you from doing that.
The schools can not enforce this rule at all. Sure they can say that no one can hand out invitations at school or such, okay. And yes, I have heard of a school that wanted you to invite the entire class even if you MAILED the invitations. But to say you MUST invite the entire class............ what's next, you must invite the ENTIRE grade. What if there are several sets of twins in that grade and one is in the class w/ the birthday kid and then the twin finds out he wasn't invited and he tells HIS classmates and lil johnny thought he was good friends w/ the birthday boy cause they play at recess. So he gets upset and goes home and tells mom and mom gets all upset and goes to the school and complains. Then you have the twins that one was invited and one was not. The kids in the other classes that play w/ bday kid at recess all upset. So are the birthday parents going to have to invite SIBLINS and multiples of those in their kids class. This thing can snowball to a point that you might as well invite the ENTIRE SCHOOL because someone is going to get "left out". Then we might as well just cancel birthday parties all together. Again, this whole thing probably got started because a MOTHER got her feelings hurt and made her own child cry. The pathetic "oh why did they not invite YOU" drama the MOTHER caused.
Again, if the school is footing the bill then they can dictate how large the party is that YOU are hosting that is NOT on school time.
I'd LOVE to see a school try to enforce this rule and a parent stand up to them.
I think you're getting a little worked up over something that really isn't that huge of a deal. If it's the school's policy, so be it! I wouldn't take issue with it.
I think you're getting a little worked up over something that really isn't that huge of a deal. If it's the school's policy, so be it! I wouldn't take issue with it.
I'm not getting "worked up". I'm just saying that the school can not tell you what to do on your own time. The school can NOT enforce this rule whatsoever. If I'm having a party at my house or wherever my child wants to and I'm footing the bill the school can not dictate whom I must invite. Again, it was only put in place because of some mom that got bent out of shape because HER own feelings got hurt. The school can try to make this "policy" but they can not enforce it.
And mom can stand up at the school waiting on her own princess to get out and hand the invitation to the other mom if so be. They can not stop you from doing that.
Princess? I think you and I are on a completely different wavelength. I have never in my life referred to either of my daughters, or any girl for that matter, as a princess. That probably explains why I go along with what I think is a reasonable policy and you don't.
Have the simple pool party that your son wants. It’s his birthday and he doesn’t have to invite the whole class if he doesn’t want to. By 9 years of age, most kids don’t want to invite everyone, just their close friends. Scheduling the party for after school is out for the summer works in your favor, too, as less discussing among the kids. And don’t distribute invites at school, mail them.
I'm still trying to wrap my mind around the idea of 30 kids in a class. That sounds just awful to me. Is 30 kids in one class typical where you live?
On topic, I would suggest that IF (big IF) you do decide to have 30+ kids, make absolutely SURE you're covered with watching eyes. I'm not talking about one other adult. I'm talking at least 5 or 6 responsible adults who will be constantly walking the perimeter of the pool, WATCHING. Not socializing, not smoozing, not swilling beer or cutting up fruit. WATCHING. Those adults MUST do a full sweep and headcount on short intervals. Perhaps consider having the kids do a full get-out drill (with headcount) on specific intervals. Consider the buddy-system.
If possible, you might even consider hiring a professional/certified lifeguard or two.
If you can't get the cooperation of the adults, no 30+ kid pool party. It's just too risky.
Princess? I think you and I are on a completely different wavelength. I have never in my life referred to either of my daughters, or any girl for that matter, as a princess. That probably explains why I go along with what I think is a reasonable policy and you don't.
Sorry that you didn't quite get the "princess" comment. I don't call my daughters "princess" either. The "princess" term takes the place of "little johnny" when referring to a girl. We all know the kids whose parents think they can do no wrong. Little Johnny would never throw rocks at other kids on the playground. Princess would never get anything below an A on a paper. It is a generic term. NOTHING MORE
No, the "policy" is far from reasonable. The schools can not dictate to a parent whom they must invite to a private event that is held off of school property and not during school hours. If the school is going to foot the bill and provide the proper supervision then they can invite everyone. If they are not then there are boundries that they can not step over. This is one of them.
In this case the OP has a son that wants to have a pool party at their own house. Not only would that be unreasonable it would be very unsafe for all involved. I would never dream of inviting 30 kids to a swim party at our house. Even knowing that some may not make it there is nothing stopping some of them from bringing siblings and other friends. That happens as well and parents think nothing of it at all.
No, the "policy" is far from reasonable. The schools can not dictate to a parent whom they must invite to a private event that is held off of school property and not during school hours. .
The school is not dictating who the parent can invite. The school is dictating what can and cannot be distributed in the classroom. The policy refers to the invitations not the guest list. I consider it to be reasonable.
Not only all this, but can you imagine your chidl being invited to 30 other parties! And what happens when two students share the same birthday but the families want to celebrate seprately?
We have that situation. DD and classmate are the same day. His mom and I discussed dates in advance.
For the OP -- as the children grow older, they are more inclined to same gender only at parties, which helps cut the list a bit. Inviting gender specific only was one way of getting around a big group. Been there, done that!
The school is not dictating who the parent can invite. The school is dictating what can and cannot be distributed in the classroom. The policy refers to the invitations not the guest list. I consider it to be reasonable.
Most will say that it is only if they are handed out but they do not make a distinction in that regards. However, I have known of a school that just flat out said that the ENTIRE class had to be invited even if invites were mailed. I have heard this same thing from others as well. Which is a very unreasonable policy.
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. I'm just saying that the school can not tell you what to do on your own time. The school can NOT enforce this rule whatsoever. If I'm having a party at my house or wherever my child wants to and I'm footing the bill the school can not dictate whom I must invite. Again, it was only put in place because of some mom that got bent out of shape because HER own feelings got hurt. The school can try to make this "policy" but they can not enforce it.
If the school is going to foot the bill and provide the proper supervision then they can invite everyone. If they are not then there are boundries that they can not step over. This is one of them. 
And what happens when two students share the same birthday but the families want to celebrate seprately?
