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I'm not getting "worked up". I'm just saying that the school can not tell you what to do on your own time. The school can NOT enforce this rule whatsoever. If I'm having a party at my house or wherever my child wants to and I'm footing the bill the school can not dictate whom I must invite. Again, it was only put in place because of some mom that got bent out of shape because HER own feelings got hurt. The school can try to make this "policy" but they can not enforce it.
I understand what you've written, but if another child-friend handed out an invite within view of your child (who wasn't invited) you might have some hurt feelings to contend with, too.
We made a game out of birthday invites. The children helped fill them out, obtained the addresses and then mapped them out. We would sneak out "late" at night (9:30-10:00 on a Saturday) for our covert invitation delivery ritual. The children would have to read the map, tell me where to turn and would take turns hopping out to place the invites into the curbside mailboxes. I would carry some stamps with me -- just in case the recipient didn't have a mailbox -- and would mail those out from the PO that night.
The party is for the child and not us -- I enjoy letting the children have fun with it from the early planning stages until the last thank you is written.
I think it is good to make sure you are somehow free of some legal lawsuit if something happens to a child. It is sad to think on these terms but it is not uncommon for some parent to sue for another parent when something happened to his child.
I have no idea how to make sure you are covered and you may have to ask a lawyer on this one. Maybe you need to make sure parents sign a waver. I do not know. I just mention this angle for you to make sure you avoid some type of unnecessary legal and possibly very costly aggravation later.
Most will say that it is only if they are handed out but they do not make a distinction in that regards. However, I have known of a school that just flat out said that the ENTIRE class had to be invited even if invites were mailed. I have heard this same thing from others as well. Which is a very unreasonable policy.
My childrens school experience has been the 'do not hand out invitations in class if you aren't inviting the entire class.' I can't recall the last time my youngest received an invite in school.
I understand what you've written, but if another child-friend handed out an invite within view of your child (who wasn't invited) you might have some hurt feelings to contend with, too.
We made a game out of birthday invites. The children helped fill them out, obtained the addresses and then mapped them out. We would sneak out "late" at night (9:30-10:00 on a Saturday) for our covert invitation delivery ritual. The children would have to read the map, tell me where to turn and would take turns hopping out to place the invites into the curbside mailboxes. I would carry some stamps with me -- just in case the recipient didn't have a mailbox -- and would mail those out from the PO that night.
The party is for the child and not us -- I enjoy letting the children have fun with it from the early planning stages until the last thank you is written.
Actually, no it would not bother me at all. All kinds of things go on w/ people and get togethers and we can not always be invited to everything. As I mentioned earlier, my daughter has a friend down the street. Same age, same school, same sports team, same church. She has been invited to her b-day parties in the past but was not this last year. My daughter was not the least upset nor did I get bent out of shape about it and we are friends w/ the parents. My daughter in the last few years has actually gotten to the point she does not care to be around the child all of the time as she is VERY bossy. I saw it years ago and I just let my kids learn things on their own without them getting hurt of course. When the neighbors party came and went we never made a big deal about it at all and my daughter was just fine. And I KNOW the mother had to hand out invitations at school.
My kids also have a huge say in their own birthday parties. We will dictate some but more on the time, monetary and # of guests and such.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pitt Chick
That is shocking to me too!
Here the lower elementary classes average 22-24 students.
I'd pull my kids out of school if they had 30 in a class. Here the limit for K-4 is 21 kids per class. We have yet to have a class with even that many. Usually around 19-20.
Most will say that it is only if they are handed out but they do not make a distinction in that regards. However, I have known of a school that just flat out said that the ENTIRE class had to be invited even if invites were mailed. I have heard this same thing from others as well. Which is a very unreasonable policy.
I haven't heard of a school having that rule, but if you have, OK. It doesn't seem to be the school your kids go to, so I don't know why it bothers you so much. Like you said, it's an awfully weird thing to try to dictate. Not putting it past some schools out there, but I also wouldn't put it past some parents to simply misunderstand.
My guess is that teachers got tired of kids crying about not being invited, arguments about exclusion, parents trying to rope teachers into distributing invites or collecting RSVPs, and some schools decided they didn't want to be involved anymore. Yes, it's probably due to a few thin-skinned parents (and probably some little princess bullies), but there is so much backlash about schools being TOO involved in kids' private lives. Maybe some of them simply opted out and want to avoid the hassle.
I said before that my daughters' schools have the policy of inviting the entire class if invitations are handed out at school. I meant to say that their schools used to have that policy--we've moved, and their current schools don't have it. (Also, the policy was just for the same sex. Girls had to invite all the girls.) I just wanted to clarify because I was recently talking about my older daughter's party and didn't want to accidentally mislead anybody.
I think you're getting a little worked up over something that really isn't that huge of a deal. If it's the school's policy, so be it! I wouldn't take issue with it.
I would have a problem with any entity outside my family telling me who I had to invite to a party at my house.
However, I have known of a school that just flat out said that the ENTIRE class had to be invited even if invites were mailed.
I have never heard of such a thing- That is crazy.
I have heard the "don't pass out invites at school unless the entire class is invited". I think that is a valid and understandable request. Regardless if you think that kids just need to suck it up, it is not good manners to invite some and not others when you are doing it in front of those that are not getting invited.
Honestly, I don't understand the big deal here. If you want to invite everyone in the class...fine. If you don't....then don't...just send the invites through the mail. Problem solved.
I definitely would not invite the whole class - sounds like chaos to me! I would have a hard time with a school telling me I HAD to invite the whole class. Our school normally asks the Bday kid to just put the invitations in the other kids cubbies at a discreet time. That works fine.
My son is having his 12th birthday party in the beginning of June. We always have a pool party, that's what he picks! I give him the choice of having 3 friends over and letting them spend the night, or inviting 10 and they go home. He always picks inviting 10 and they go home! We always have quite a few adults there, but I usually stay pretty close to the pool, because these kids parents are putting their trust in me that their kids will be safe, and I would hate for something to happen. We usually do water balloons, too - the kids have a blast!!
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. I'm just saying that the school can not tell you what to do on your own time. The school can NOT enforce this rule whatsoever. If I'm having a party at my house or wherever my child wants to and I'm footing the bill the school can not dictate whom I must invite. Again, it was only put in place because of some mom that got bent out of shape because HER own feelings got hurt. The school can try to make this "policy" but they can not enforce it.
! I would have a hard time with a school telling me I HAD to invite the whole class. Our school normally asks the Bday kid to just put the invitations in the other kids cubbies at a discreet time. That works fine. 
! I give him the choice of having 3 friends over and letting them spend the night, or inviting 10 and they go home. He always picks inviting 10 and they go home
! We always have quite a few adults there, but I usually stay pretty close to the pool, because these kids parents are putting their trust in me that their kids will be safe, and I would hate for something to happen. We usually do water balloons, too - the kids have a blast
!!
