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Old 05-25-2009, 01:23 PM
 
Location: Orlando, FL
12,256 posts, read 15,791,470 times
Reputation: 6600

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I don't get along with my step-mother because she was so critical of me when I was growing up (and my mom didn't like her so I adopted those feelings early on) but my son loves her. As far as I've seen she's never said or done anything to him that I wouldn't approve of so I let him go to my father's house frequently; I just don't go with him.
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Old 05-25-2009, 03:23 PM
 
Location: SD
896 posts, read 3,867,140 times
Reputation: 342
We don't get along with my in-laws but my children are always available to them. They call my kids rarely. Most communication is done when my kids call them. They visit once a year. It is a difficult visit because they don't speak to my husband (their only son) or me so it is filled with tension. My kids enjoy being around them because they are their grandparents. It's very sad--but we feel that we make more of an effort and can only go so far to get them interested in their grandchildren. In the end, it's their loss.
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Old 05-25-2009, 04:38 PM
 
Location: NW Montana
283 posts, read 642,704 times
Reputation: 259
I cut off contact with my father because of mental abuse, and I refuse to let him see my children. I can't trust that he wouldn't "pass the torch" onto my kids, so to speak. It is my job as a parent to protect them from harm, regardless of WHO that harm comes from.
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Old 08-16-2009, 05:49 PM
 
22 posts, read 42,658 times
Reputation: 20
I'd let my kids visit their grandparents because you never know when your parents are going to leave this world.
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Old 08-17-2009, 02:01 PM
 
Location: in my mind
2,745 posts, read 12,854,251 times
Reputation: 1591
I don't get along with my mother at all. I think she's losing it. However, she is good to the kids and they love her (even though the 17 year old has started seeing how nutty she can be!!)... I have never kept her from the kids.

They have experiences with her that are important and unique; she's an odd "Grandma" in that she takes them fishing, has them help her rebuild the deck, teaches them how to fix stuff, etc. They say she's a very strange combination of Grandma and what a Grandpa would be like (my father is dead and had little interest in the kids before he died)... she's been known to smoke a pipe, she drives a big pick-up truck, and she takes them camping, they explore caves and go on hikes..... she's not typical, that's for sure. Not many women in my family have ever been the "cookie baking" type of Grandmas!

But yeah, I have never ever kept her from the kids, regardless of the fact that often she and I are not on speaking terms.

Of course that doesn't keep her crazy a$$ from ACCUSING me of "keeping the boys away". Apparently she's not capable of looking at the calender and realizing summer vacation has started? It's my job to inform her and deliver the kids or something. I dunno.
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Old 08-17-2009, 02:41 PM
 
Location: here
24,469 posts, read 28,737,691 times
Reputation: 31039
We don't get along all that well with my mother in law. She can be quite manipulative. I don't think she is a real danger to my kids, so they do spend time together. It got to a point last year where I was about to cut her out completely. After I thought about it, I figured if we did that, then my husband and I would look like the bad guys for taking away their grandparents. If we continue to let them see each other, eventually the kids will figure out that the MIL is a little nutty and not always truthful. Their 9 and 10 year old cousins are already figuring that out.
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Old 08-17-2009, 05:22 PM
 
Location: TN
264 posts, read 716,157 times
Reputation: 288
I had a very troubled relationship with my stepfather as a child, but as far as I can tell he has changed and although he will never be my favorite person, I do let my children spend time with him. I do have my guard up, however, and would take that privelege from him in a skinny minute if I thought he was treating them any where near the way he treated me in the past.
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Old 08-17-2009, 05:26 PM
 
8 posts, read 18,665 times
Reputation: 17
Smile The children didn't ask to be born....

In your lifestyle and that of your mother's, fathers, etc.

Please don't stop them from seeing and visiting the grandparents, or other family members that you know of. Everyone that they see and visit, will teach them things, and help them grow. You can't do it all yourself.

They will remember and appreciate you more when you don't punish them for your child like attitude. Thank you.
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Old 08-17-2009, 06:06 PM
 
Location: Sacramento
2,568 posts, read 5,839,397 times
Reputation: 1905
Quote:
Originally Posted by audreycsmith View Post
In your lifestyle and that of your mother's, fathers, etc.

Please don't stop them from seeing and visiting the grandparents, or other family members that you know of. Everyone that they see and visit, will teach them things, and help them grow. You can't do it all yourself.

They will remember and appreciate you more when you don't punish them for your child like attitude. Thank you.

I think I already said this on this thread. There is a big difference between having a disagreement with one's parents and having parents that are abusive or toxic. People who make generalizations usually have lived very sheltered lives.
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Old 08-17-2009, 06:11 PM
 
Location: Birmingham
756 posts, read 1,673,062 times
Reputation: 924
My parents are my childrens only grandparents. So, even though my relationship was at the very best "strained" and at its' worst, brawling....When I found out I was pregnant with my first child, I immediately decided to get along with them. I let things that were said critical of myself go, in exchange of my children having a grandparent. We get along much better now and even though I get angry and have to bite my lip a bit, I am so happy they are in my childrens lives as you should feel blessed for all the people that show your children love.

At the time I got pregnant, I also thought, "If they every do anything that makes my children feel less than the other grandchildren or hurts my children - as they had hurt me, I would just silently cut them off". Thankfully I did not have to do that but, I was prepared.
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