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Old 08-17-2009, 11:33 PM
 
Location: Florida
6,262 posts, read 16,961,295 times
Reputation: 4690

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Quote:
Originally Posted by audreycsmith View Post
In your lifestyle and that of your mother's, fathers, etc.

Please don't stop them from seeing and visiting the grandparents, or other family members that you know of. Everyone that they see and visit, will teach them things, and help them grow. You can't do it all yourself.

They will remember and appreciate you more when you don't punish them for your child like attitude. Thank you.
wonderful post!
Quote:
Originally Posted by suzie02 View Post
I think I already said this on this thread. There is a big difference between having a disagreement with one's parents and having parents that are abusive or toxic. People who make generalizations usually have lived very sheltered lives.

I don't think the above post had one thing to do with your situation so why act as though it does?
You are hyper sensitive and need to chill. Everything isn't about you
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Old 08-17-2009, 11:47 PM
 
Location: Sacramento
2,568 posts, read 5,838,497 times
Reputation: 1905
Quote:
Originally Posted by DreamWeavin View Post
I don't think the above post had one thing to do with your situation so why act as though it does?
You are hyper sensitive and need to chill. Everything isn't about you
Who said it had anything to do with me? I am not sensitive about this situation. As a matter of fact I wish my children could spend more time with their grandparents. Unfortunately one has already passed.

Sounds to me like you are reacting to my posts in the other thread. Two different and independent conversations to me.
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Old 08-17-2009, 11:59 PM
 
Location: Florida
6,262 posts, read 16,961,295 times
Reputation: 4690
Quote:
Originally Posted by suzie02 View Post
Who said it had anything to do with me? I am not sensitive about this situation. As a matter of fact I wish my children could spend more time with their grandparents. Unfortunately one has already passed.

Sounds to me like you are reacting to my posts in the other thread. Two different and independent conversations to me.
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Old 08-18-2009, 11:29 AM
 
Location: My Private Island
4,941 posts, read 7,085,497 times
Reputation: 12245
My mother and I have always had a strained relationship due to her alcoholism however, when I had my son, I decided that I would not give him any preconceived notions about his grandmother. She ended up showing her true self to him all on her own. He does not have a relationship with her and this seems to suit her just fine. So sad!
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Old 08-18-2009, 12:19 PM
 
Location: Sacramento
2,568 posts, read 5,838,497 times
Reputation: 1905
Quote:
Originally Posted by seeniorita View Post
My mother and I have always had a strained relationship due to her alcoholism however, when I had my son, I decided that I would not give him any preconceived notions about his grandmother. She ended up showing her true self to him all on her own. He does not have a relationship with her and this seems to suit her just fine. So sad!
At what age did you expose him to alcoholism? If I had been in your shoes I would have kept them apart until he was old enough to understand it. Maybe in his teens. I wouldn't have bad mouthed her or anything like that.
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Old 08-20-2009, 10:23 AM
 
12 posts, read 30,310 times
Reputation: 13
with situations that are going on in my life-my brother, who lives with us of course, is not allowed to hold my daughter, play with her, or anything..even though he still does. i snap on him and i tell him he's not my brother and i don't want her around him period. i even told my parents to keep her away from him. if i see that he has her or is holding her i grab her and get away from him.

it's a long story but after the way my brother has been treating me i don't look at him as a brother and one day he'll regret it when he ends up needing help.

don't know if that kinda answers your question...
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Old 09-20-2009, 10:44 PM
pll
 
1,042 posts, read 2,091,632 times
Reputation: 1048
I would definitely keep them away from anyone, family member or friend, who you felt was abusive to you emotionally or physically. Especially if it is continually. It teaches them that they may need to make bounderies with unhealthy and destructive people.(It's very important for females to learn this).
If it's just a minor diagreement then reconcile and forgive your parent. This is important for your children to learn. Lead by example.
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Old 09-21-2009, 05:49 PM
 
20,793 posts, read 52,363,417 times
Reputation: 10471
My mom was a very difficult person to be around. After several years we decided not to have a relationship with her. If she called we talked to her but that was about it. The kids did not want to see her either. It wasn't an abusive relationship just one that was not good. For those that have not lived with a relationship like this you really can't tell people that you should 'just let them see the kids". If you had a friend like my mom you would not have maintained that relationship. I do not believe that just because they are family that you have to have a relationship with them. Our kids have wonderful Grandparents-my Dad and step-mom, DH's parents and a couple friends of our family that are grandparent age. They have missed out on nothing.
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Old 09-21-2009, 08:45 PM
 
Location: Long Island/NYC
11,294 posts, read 16,393,440 times
Reputation: 6045
I think the children should be left out of the situation, its not there fault that the parents and grandparents don't get along, grandparents should be able to see there grandchildren whenever they want IMO, parents and grandparents shouldn't bicker in front of the children either.
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Old 09-21-2009, 10:15 PM
pll
 
1,042 posts, read 2,091,632 times
Reputation: 1048
Quote:
Originally Posted by golfgal View Post
My mom was a very difficult person to be around. After several years we decided not to have a relationship with her. If she called we talked to her but that was about it. The kids did not want to see her either. It wasn't an abusive relationship just one that was not good. For those that have not lived with a relationship like this you really can't tell people that you should 'just let them see the kids". If you had a friend like my mom you would not have maintained that relationship. I do not believe that just because they are family that you have to have a relationship with them. Our kids have wonderful Grandparents-my Dad and step-mom, DH's parents and a couple friends of our family that are grandparent age. They have missed out on nothing.
I totally agree! All my kids have missed out in not having a relationship with their Grandma is a lot of arguing and strife. Everyone has accepted that this is healthier on both sides. However, they are close to my step-mom and MIL who are a little more stable.
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