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Old 05-21-2009, 02:50 PM
 
Location: Michigan--good on the rocks
2,544 posts, read 3,458,475 times
Reputation: 1932

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It sounds like this was a fairly recent death. This is a very normal part of the grieving process. Let it go.

What possible good can come from making sure everyone else's perception of the truth matches yours? Even if your version is the factual truth, what difference does it make? The kid is gone. You aren't going to reform him now. And you aren't going to make yourself popular by stepping on everyone else's grieving process.

Is it only because you are sick of hearing it? Get over yourself. Everyone grieves in their own way, and you won't be doing any good at all by insisting on changing a Mother's view of her deceased son.

 
Old 05-22-2009, 01:49 AM
 
Location: Sacramento
2,568 posts, read 5,848,634 times
Reputation: 1905
I am confused. You sound like a stepmother to me but everyone else assumes you are the stepfather.
Either way. A spouse should try to make the other spouse better not cause him/her unnecessary pain. JMHO.
 
Old 05-22-2009, 07:46 AM
 
Location: Here and There
2,539 posts, read 3,278,336 times
Reputation: 3766
First of all let me say I am sorry for his death. However, you woman/sir sound extremely immature and self centered....IT IS NOT ABOUT YOU!!! This poor kid is dead, and your spouse is not going around screaming to the world what a loser he was, and you are upset by this? Karma is gonna get you my friend.
 
Old 05-22-2009, 07:53 AM
 
1,577 posts, read 3,270,920 times
Reputation: 530
Quote:
Originally Posted by skyegirl View Post
First of all let me say I am sorry for his death. However, you woman/sir sound extremely immature and self centered....IT IS NOT ABOUT YOU!!! This poor kid is dead, and your spouse is not going around screaming to the world what a loser he was, and you are upset by this? Karma is gonna get you my friend.
How confusing. We teach our kids to be honest and truthful, but then when your truthful and honest yourself some stranger tells you your a bad or selfish person whose gonna "get it in the end"? lmao

sorry but I'm starting to think thats what makes people lie and stretch the truth on here, to avoid getting judged and bad mouthed. No offence, just a thought.

My point folks was that I didn't like the lying. I get it, they'd rather give the impression this was a great and honorable person and they were fantastic Brady Bunch parents. I get it. I don't blame them. Understanding that makes it easier for me to deal with. His being dead or alive really plays no role, I was just mentioning that. Even alive the parent was making them larger than life for the benefit of strangers who wouldn't know or be any the wiser or even really care for that matter.

Your right. Why admit to failure when you can just make it sound all rosey? Who'd know and it makes them feel better in this case. Great, I get it now. Thanks again everyone.

I'm all done with this thread now. Have a great day
 
Old 05-22-2009, 09:39 AM
 
324 posts, read 765,821 times
Reputation: 201
I think its normal that a bio parent would want to lie & protect & the step parent wants it to be known to the world & come out in the open.
 
Old 05-22-2009, 10:47 AM
 
Location: Sacramento
2,568 posts, read 5,848,634 times
Reputation: 1905
Quote:
Originally Posted by suzie02 View Post
I am confused. You sound like a stepmother to me but everyone else assumes you are the stepfather.
Either way. A spouse should try to make the other spouse better not cause him/her unnecessary pain. JMHO.
Wow. The rep comment you wrote left me speechless. I probably shouldn't post it but here it is.

Quote:
exactly. So they need to do their lying away from my presence, because it causes me pain to hear it. Creating all these stories and making him sound better than he was is just wrong.
Are you seriously putting your annoyance to something in the same level as the death of a child? Your husband is is real pain please have some compassion for the man you chose to spend the rest of your life with.
 
Old 05-24-2009, 07:39 AM
 
324 posts, read 765,821 times
Reputation: 201
Quote:
Originally Posted by suzie02 View Post
Wow. The rep comment you wrote left me speechless. I probably shouldn't post it but here it is.



Are you seriously putting your annoyance to something in the same level as the death of a child? Your husband is is real pain please have some compassion for the man you chose to spend the rest of your life with.

WTH is going on here? Who left this comment?
 
Old 05-24-2009, 07:43 AM
 
Location: Southern NC
1,917 posts, read 4,233,300 times
Reputation: 2501
Quote:
Originally Posted by Granny Sue View Post
Maybe because "others" don't need to know the kids whole history.
No reason to speak ill of the dead.
I agree! Why does it bother YOU so much OP?
This kind of thing is what gives step-parents a bad name.
 
Old 05-24-2009, 11:40 AM
 
Location: Michigan--good on the rocks
2,544 posts, read 3,458,475 times
Reputation: 1932
Quote:
Originally Posted by thebanker View Post
WTH is going on here? Who left this comment?
I think the OP. He/she left me a similar one. I appreciate the rep but clearly there is no compassion for a grieving family.
 
Old 05-24-2009, 12:13 PM
 
Location: Sacramento
2,568 posts, read 5,848,634 times
Reputation: 1905
Quote:
Originally Posted by thebanker View Post
WTH is going on here? Who left this comment?
That comment was a rep to the post I also quoted. She took my post and twisted it to fit what she wanted.

Quote:
Originally Posted by stanman13 View Post
I think the OP. He/she left me a similar one. I appreciate the rep but clearly there is no compassion for a grieving family.
I myself wish I had never received that rep.
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