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Old 05-21-2009, 11:03 AM
1,831 posts, read 3,737,671 times
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My son does go on and on about canines. Breeds, characteristics, predatory practices, height and weight, which dog could beat another dog based height and weight, why pit bulls are unfairly judged and their reputation is not their fault, etc. I try to listen (and sometimes half-listen), but sometimes I do have to ask him to be quiet. I do feel badly about that, but it will go on all day a lot of times, and can get exhausting during the high-stress workweek. If I hear a line from a movie (again), I will remind him that I heard it before; sometimes he will repeat it several times. I think once his mouth gets moving, it's hard to slow it down, lol. He doesn't really understand the social cues very well. Regardless of facial expression or body language, he'll keep right on talking about his preferred subject. He will talk about other things, so that is a relief.

But a lot of times, his facts and stories are interesting and funny. What I will do is either ask a question to take him off the obssession course, or tell him something I know about the canine of choice. I've also asked him to put some of his stories on paper. This has resulted in him drawing comic books. And I get him books to go along with his interests. And I pray for more patience.

But I may try that video camera.
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Old 05-21-2009, 11:23 AM
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My eight year old was a late talker (we actually took him for hearing tests when he was 18 months old or so, because he wasn't really babbling or saying any real words other than "mama" and "dada"), but he finally started talking, and hasn't stopped since. He gets obsessed with a topic, and does not let it go. It's currently a tossup between Transformers and Star Wars. Sometimes I just have to tell him, "I need you to stop talking for a while and find something else to do." We homeschool, and I don't get a break, so sometimes I have to enforce one myself!
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Old 05-21-2009, 11:35 AM
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Yes, my 10 yr old can go on and on about Star Wars or his video games. I also get that glazed look sometimes because I just can't concentrate on it as much as he does. I do have back and forth conversations with him about his interests so he doesn't feel like I am not paying attention. But yeah sometimes I just want to sceam "AAAHHHHH NO MORE!" To think someday I'll be wishing for him to call me.
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Old 05-21-2009, 12:01 PM
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Many years ago, I saw an interesting discussion program on TV. The subject was the 3 basic types of individuals and how to tell them apart. The purpose of the discussion was to promote better communication based on being able to discern what type of individual you were dealing with.
The three basic types of people are verbal, visual, and emotional.
The way to determine which catagory these individuals fall into is to ask them a question that would require an answer that is specific to them that may take a moment to figure out such as What is your favorite color.
As they are searching for the answer, look at their eyes. A verbal person will move their eyes from side to side. A visual person will look up. An emotional person will look down and into the corner of their eye.
An example of a verbal person may be an attorney or a musician. They communicate with a lot of words and when you tell them soomething they are likely to reply yeah I hear you.
An example of a visual person may be an artist. They communicate best with visual aids. The best way to communicate with them is to draw them a picture or show a written example. They are most likely to "read the directions". When you tell them something they will usually reply I see what you mean.
The emotional person internalizes everything. They are always busy inside even though they may be silent on the outside. This person may be an author. They are most likely to use metaphores when they communicate but they never read the directions and are likely to daydream when someone is talking too much. When you tell them something, they will usually reply, I feel that is the right thing to do.
Try this on your kids to see what kind of person they are. It may help you to communicate more easily. It also works great with co-workers as you can communicate with them in their own comfort zone.
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Old 05-21-2009, 12:14 PM
Location: The Hall of Justice
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I'm with all of you. My five-year-old is a chatterbox, but luckily he is learning how to be quiet. His prvious reaction to "Please be quiet" or "shhh" was to simply keep talking but in a quieter voice. I never realized how difficult it can be to demonstrate silence. He has ADD (impulsive), so he used to just blurt out whatever came into his head. He has gotten a lot better, and now I think we're just dealing with normal five-year-old chatter. Honestly, we're so pleased at his reaction to his medication and how he notices the world around him now, so we try to tolerate the million questions. He almost never asked questions before, and he wouldn't wait for the answers--just blurt out the next thing that occurred to him. At least now we can converse.

My daughter has learnedhow to be quiet at school, but at home it can be a power struggle. She sounds kind of like your kids, Jack, in that she can just lose it if we tell her no. Sometimes I'll be on the phone and she'll start talking to me, which I do not like at all and is against house rules. If I say, "I'm on the phone, please stop talking," she can flip out. If I leave the room, she cries because I'm not talking to her. It drives me nuts.

(I said before that she flips if we say no. That doesn't mean we say yes all the time, but the power struggle is exhausting. She is obedient in many ways and very easygoing when we agree. But if we disagree ... wow. It's not fun.)

Now, the oldest one, she's 13. I WISH she would talk to us. The other two won't clam up. She holes up in that den of a room unless we make her come out and socialize.
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Old 05-21-2009, 12:25 PM
Location: St. Louis Metro East
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OMG I so know how you feel! I'm really dreading this summer. School just let out today.

On the video camera thing, I did that with my older son when he was about 7. We got a new one, so I gave him the old one. He's nonverbal, but I was amazed to see the creativity it sparked. He's 15 now, and still loves his camcorders. He's since gotten into puppetry, and into researching the Muppets and how they workk behind the scenes, creating his own comics and puppet shows, and even drawing his favorite characters from TV as muppets!

I tried the same wtih my younger son, who is 7 now. He's also a talkaholic, and seems to have major anxiety issues as well, which we're having evaluated. He wasn't interested in making things himself, but having me tape his shows to put on youtube. I feel so guilty now, because I think he can tell that he's driving me out of my gourd! Like many others here, I'll be wtih him 24/7 this summer. I love him more than life itself, but I just don't know how much more I can take...

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Old 05-21-2009, 12:32 PM
Location: Pasadena, CA
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When my daughter was a toddler she would continuously ask 'Why' to any answer I'd give her. I told her that she was welcome to ask anything but not the same question twice. This tactic seemed to slow her down and to process information. The why seemed like a cheat to not think about the subject and this tactic helped a lot. We were then better able to discuss a subject and she really began to consider her questions.
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Old 05-21-2009, 12:42 PM
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Default My oldest talks all day and sometimes in her sleep

My oldest child talks all day. She wakes up at 6:30 a.m. and immediately starts talking about the day ahead, school friends, etc. She talks in the car on the way to school. After school she starts chatting as soon she gets in the car and continues to chatter until bedtime.

If I'm in another room making dinner or cleaning she'll sing to herself. Sometimes, she'll play her trumpet. Other times she'll walk down the road to visit a widow who likes to sit on her porch and she'll have a conversation with her. She has to be constantly making noise of some sort.

My dh and I go into her room at night to check up on her and often she'll be mumbling in her sleep.

I'm a very quiet person so I don't know where she gets it from. My youngest daughter can entertain herself for hours quietly, but my oldest needs to always be having some sort of dialogue.

It doesn't bother me. I'm used to it and will always take time to talk to her when she asks advice or wants to share something that happened at school. Sometimes if I have to work late, I'll let her know I'm tired when I first come home and I'll say something like, "I really want to hear all about it, but I'm tired and hungry and cranky right now. Can we talk a little later after I've had dinner?"

She's usually OK with that.

She's involved in select chorus and local musical theater groups and that seems to help her express herself in a social and creative context. Maybe you could find an outlet for your boys to share their thoughts/opinions with someone other than yourself. Your local autism support group may offer clubs or playgroups.
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Old 05-21-2009, 01:29 PM
Location: Right where I want to be.
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Wow, some of you all are going to think I'm a mean parent. Yes, I love to talk to my kids. We have great conversations. Yes, I want them to know they can talk to me about anything but good golly, when they were younger I did not entertain them endlessly. DS could talk for hours about dinosaurs, Star Wars, Star Trek, Legos, Bionicles, warp drive engines, etc. in nauseating detail. I didn't mind conversing with him about any topic but I also felt it was important that he understand that I didn't share his interest to the same level he did. Many times I didn't have a clue to what he was talking about. Even at a young age he would read 'The Complete Encyclopedia of....(Star Trek Ships, Battles of WW2, Submarines, Science and Technology)" You know...all those really thick books at the book store that most adults would take 6 months to get through...DS would not only read them, he would absorb them. When he was 13 he read of all of DH's college economics text books. Uh, yeah....I'm not going to be able to listen to him talk for as long as he wants too....lol

I'd rather him know that he had 10 minutes of my full attention to talk about Bionicles or warp engine theory (and then the conversation needs to end or change) than listen for 10 minutes and then only pretend to listen for another 20 filling in with 'uh-huh' and 'very cool' while I was really thinking if we should have chicken or fish for dinner and if DH could pick up the kids from soccer tomorrow I could take the dog to the vet...... I certainly didn't expect him to endure listening to me talk on and on about cooking, sewing, politics, finances, crafting, the new Sunday School curriculum, how to get stains out of clothes, or any of the other things that were interesting to me. I'd much rather we have a dialog, a conversation about any topic but I'll listen for 10 minutes even if I don't know what he is talking about...lol.

There's a time and place for everything. It's part of teaching kids that the world does not revolve around them or their interests or their activities or their conversations. There are several people in our family, each one just as important as the rest, each with our own interests and activities. It's ok if I don't like to talk all the time about Bionicles. It's ok if you don't want to talk about crafts. It's ok if brother doesn't want to listen to princess stories from sister for 3 hours straight and if I don't want to watch all the major league sports finals with DH. Yet, we all support each other, love each other and encourage each other in various interests. We also find things that we like to do together so we have plenty of common interests and activities. It's a balance.
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Old 05-21-2009, 01:31 PM
Location: Right where I want to be.
4,507 posts, read 7,833,194 times
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Oh, I wanted to add that I LOVE the camera idea. DS enjoyed even making pretend movies, I'm sure he would have enjoyed making real ones. I imagine for kids who like to draw or write they could be encouraged to make their own little books as well.
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