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Old 05-25-2009, 10:09 PM
 
Location: Victoria TX
42,668 posts, read 71,671,678 times
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When my wife was raising her daughters, literally everything they wore was from a thrift shop, if not dumpster-dived. They took great delight in finding the most outrageous things to wear, and were the kind of girls who were extroverted and influential enough that they got their friends to do the same thing. They would make group outings to search for the most insane things to wear to school, PIPL. They were in high fashion, of a sort, and at very little cost.
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Old 05-26-2009, 07:32 AM
 
6,764 posts, read 19,306,641 times
Reputation: 4664
This is the time to teach kids not to be so damn vacuous. People are too label conscious in some places.

Yet another reason why I am glad I have a boy (who could care less) than a girl. Also, we teach 'self esteem' in my house and kindness. Making fun of people for looking weird or different is quickly scolded.

Celebrate being 'different' and teach your kids to respect themselves, not 'labels' or 'designer clothes' kids.
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Old 05-26-2009, 08:10 AM
 
Location: Mid-Atlantic
1,820 posts, read 3,903,683 times
Reputation: 1896
Unfortunately it starts with the parents... I DO buy labels,although,not very well known ones,so it wouldn't make a difference to some... ( Matilda Jane is a favorite of mine!).. the thing is, my children have absolutely no idea where their clothes come from at this point.. they would never say to anyone "oh,you aren't wearing so and so" or you don't shop at (store)....
The parents are obviously the ones putting the emphasis on where the clothing is coming from and what the brand is (at that age)...
I hope that we are raising our children with respect towards others and I know that right now I can safely say they could absolutely care less where any of their friends purchase their clothing from.

I think it is wonderful that your children are able to stick up for themselves and be proud of what they are wearing! I know that it really doesn't matter where clothing comes from ,I just have a thing for certain brands. When my children are old enough to make their own decisions,I hope that they will always respect what others have and what others do... and know that what is on the outside really just doesn't matter anyway's...
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Old 05-26-2009, 01:01 PM
 
1,122 posts, read 1,969,899 times
Reputation: 731
There is a whole new generation of parents out there right now. I hear too many mothers say..."My 3 year old is SO high maintenance." They want that for their children. They will be poor as dirt but will find a way to buy these clothes for them. The belief is that appearance is everything and its not what you know, its who you know so they start to teach that at younger and younger ages. You think about things like Hannah Montana that pushes this garbage and wonder how many little girls would even be that interested in her if their parents and older siblings didn't cram it down their throats because that is what their children are "suppose" to like because all kids these days do it. My sisters are like this. They don't see why I feel so strongly about not making a big deal about the highly marketed crap. They tell me..."You just wait until your DD is a teenager...she'll want what she wants to be popular. All girls do." And I remind them that I didn't and they say things like..."And look who your friends were," or "you looked like an idoit," or in my older sisters case who didn't go to school with me..."Really?!" She doesn't believe me. Reality is that I was friends or at least got along with absolutely everyone and had many various friends. I didn't belong to any "group" but was respected by everyone and will be hugged by just about everyone to this day when I run into them.

I also teach my kids from day one to have strong personalities so they don't have to feel like their is something wrong with them. If someone told my DD, for example, that they didn't like the color of her shirt, she'd dress in that color from head to toe the next time she's around them. She is not afraid to tell my neice, who is also six and is the same way over Miley Cyrus, that she will not play or talk to her if she doesn't knock it off and will counter that she is a nasty girl and a poor role model and I don't want to be like her when she grows up.
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Old 05-26-2009, 01:21 PM
 
Location: memphis tn
530 posts, read 568,941 times
Reputation: 119
I am a very strong advocate of a school uniform policy. My daughter goes to private school where they are maindated and what a relief to me. Kids are cruel, always have been. I have always taught mt daughter the value of a dollar and we also find name brands at tjmaxx, marshalls and ross. No one knows where the clothes come from. We do need to teach our chlidern that whats on the inside is more important. I also agree that i starts with the parents. We are so concerned with other peoples op that we cave so we feel better about our parenting skills. I like the idea of having her smile and say i'm happy for you, nothing gripes another kid worse than kindness in the face of meanness. That way you never have regrets for the things you said!
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Old 05-26-2009, 01:39 PM
 
Location: Aurora, Colorado
2,212 posts, read 4,499,760 times
Reputation: 2363
Quote:
Originally Posted by flik_becky View Post
There is a whole new generation of parents out there right now. I hear too many mothers say..."My 3 year old is SO high maintenance." They want that for their children. They will be poor as dirt but will find a way to buy these clothes for them. The belief is that appearance is everything and its not what you know, its who you know so they start to teach that at younger and younger ages. She is not afraid to tell my neice, who is also six and is the same way over Miley Cyrus, that she will not play or talk to her if she doesn't knock it off and will counter that she is a nasty girl and a poor role model and I don't want to be like her when she grows up.
You're right about parents nowadays. I think there are so many who are trying to live vicariously through their children and if their kids are perceived as "cool" then they as parents will be "cool" too. Unfortunately they haven't realized that parenting is not about being cool. And worse is when parents let their kids see that it's better to be way over your head in credit card debt in order to buy things you cannot afford than to actually live within your means.

As far as Miley Cyrus, I think you have to be careful about this one. Not just her, but every other fad that kids enjoy nowadays. We had the same thing growing up, it just wasn't marketed the same way. I'd much rather have my daughter watch High School Musical than Grease (which is what I had growing up). When Grease came on the other day, I could not believe how inappropriate it was! I must be getting sensitive now that I have kids!

There isn't a reason to be hostile towards teeny bop trends. The difference is that your kids should enjoy what they will, just not make these kids into role models. Your kids should understand that entertainers don't have any more common sense or life skills than their day-to-day classmates. Enjoy their singing or their shows, but then go out and be yourself. I don't remember watching Grease for the first time and asking my mom for spandex pants and red high heels. I DO remember singing the songs and dancing around. I watched my daughter see High School Musical for the first time and she was mesmerized. She sang those songs and asked to watch the movie for weeks. She has a t-shirt with their pictures on them, but when we saw the "Gabriella" dress at Macy's, she wasn't even interested. 1 Point for mom, 0 points for the mass market. Luckily she understands that just because she likes a movie does not mean she must dress like every one of the characters, have a HSM backpack, HSM room decor and every single HSM barbie and accessory.
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Old 05-26-2009, 05:38 PM
 
Location: Nova Scotia
458 posts, read 1,137,970 times
Reputation: 444
It is scary, the only thing I can come up with for this is, in today's age children are "forced" to grow up faster than in our time. In my day my mother did not work away from home. So she was a constant in our life, we did not leave for school without a parent, we did not arrive home without a parent. She was always there, weekends, evenings etc... But today there are a lot of two working parents, I am one of them. It seems to be able to keep caught up with todays cost of living you need two parents. Also more women want to work now out of the home then they did back in the day.

So because children are spending more time alone, or away from parents they grow up faster and are watching things on tv they should not or are on the computer (which offers way to much info) Even if a child has a mother or father at home full time, their friends may not. So they are learning off of their friends. Even at 6, even though a 6 year old will not be home alone, they may have an older sibling that is while the 6 yr old is at daycare etc... waiting to be picked up.

I think more parents need to take an active role in their kids lives when they are not home for them as much. Both my girls were taught to come straight home after school and call me as soon as they walk in the door. They were also taught not to leave the house until I am home and to stay near a phone as I WILL call from time to time to "Check up" I am home an hour to an hour and a half afterwards. I also shutdown the computer and have it passworded so they are not able to use the internet until I am home. They do have a computer in their room, BUT it has no internet and it will NOT get internet. They use it for school work and save their work to a disk or print it off. Also they have games they can play on it.

I am also one of those mothers (and so was mine) that if I say my child needs to be home at a certain time, and they are not, I hop in my car and go find them (small town, easy to do) believe me they want to be home on time because it is embarrassing having mom pull up in her comfys and roll down the window and say "Forget your watch? time to go"

It is very scary and I am glad my girls are older, I would not want to do it over again in todays age.
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Old 05-26-2009, 05:53 PM
 
2,385 posts, read 3,708,945 times
Reputation: 2395
I checked the JUSTICE website just to see what all the fuss is about. They're having a summer sale, if anyone is interested.

I don't have any kids, but if I do, when they're ready, I'm going to teach them to do what I do, take one piece of clothing and stretch it as far as possible, combining it in different ways to make different, cute outfits and that if one piece won't combine into other outfits, we don't buy it. I'll also teach them how to look for bargains and how to stay on a budget. These are things they're going to need to learn later in life, anyway.
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Old 05-26-2009, 07:08 PM
 
Location: (WNY)
5,384 posts, read 9,596,574 times
Reputation: 7646
I do have a problem with the fact that my daughter is having such pressure put on her to shop at one given store. I don't want my daughter focusing her attention to material things at the age of six... she is too young to understand LABELS and hierarchy of classification according to the fashion world. I would rather she be happy she has cute adorable clothes from Target and not care where they came from at all....but just be proud to be HER and stand up for herself.... that is why I am teaching her the line "I AM SO HAPPY FOR YOU". So, I will not shop at Justice... I am not ready for her to shop there and until she understand completely that the label is just a pc of material with some letters on it and it doesnt MAKE who you are... she isn't ready to shop there.... imho... as her mother I cannot shop there for her. Until then I will purchase clothing that is SIMILAR to Justice clothing and cute and as adorable in every way but meets my Single income paycheck.... and when, perhaps IF, she is ready, I will puchase her something off the clearance racks.... one day.... maybe... ?????
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Old 05-26-2009, 07:25 PM
 
Location: Mid-Atlantic
1,820 posts, read 3,903,683 times
Reputation: 1896
sorry skbs... tried to rep your above but I guess I have already given you to many right now ?
As I had stated before,I think that it is so wonderful that you have taught your daughter to respond in that manner!
She will learn what is REALLY important
I hope that my children will also know that what they wear isn't important..
Thankfully, we haven't seen a lot of that yet in my daughter's school (she is also in 1st grade),but we have seen other things.. such as; girls having "clubs"?? at recess apparently there is a particular girl who has her own "club" and you have to know the special handshake to be in the club.
I tell my daughter all the time "we don't belong to clubs,we are friends with everyone!" and she shrugs her shoulders and says "yeah,that is good"!
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