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Old 09-18-2010, 06:33 PM
 
2,060 posts, read 4,908,985 times
Reputation: 1652

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We have a large number of these rules in our house:

No shoes (not just because we have a baby about to start crawling)
Bedtime (although pajama time is 30 minutes before and the time in between is free time)
One meal, no variations (although I will give my daughter the chicken and the pasta before I put sauce in the pan)
No shouting throughout the house
No snacks after school if you didn't eat your vegetables the night before
No drinks after dinner
Homework is done the minute she gets in from school
Tv and game time is fairly restricted
Her room has to be tidied before she can play
No gum, no soda, no junk toys like zhuzhu pets
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Old 09-18-2010, 06:46 PM
 
Location: Detroit's Marina District
970 posts, read 2,540,373 times
Reputation: 390
Quote:
Originally Posted by chicagojlo View Post
We have a large number of these rules in our house:

No shoes (not just because we have a baby about to start crawling)
Bedtime (although pajama time is 30 minutes before and the time in between is free time)
One meal, no variations (although I will give my daughter the chicken and the pasta before I put sauce in the pan)
No shouting throughout the house
No snacks after school if you didn't eat your vegetables the night before
No drinks after dinner
Homework is done the minute she gets in from school
Tv and game time is fairly restricted
Her room has to be tidied before she can play
No gum, no soda, no junk toys like zhuzhu pets
Sounds like a good set of rules! Structure is always good!
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Old 09-18-2010, 11:02 PM
 
Location: Wherever life takes me.
5,944 posts, read 6,379,685 times
Reputation: 3018
I'd like to start with JEEZ an 8 hour shift really puts me behind on the thread...LOL

Quote:
Originally Posted by Remisc View Post
If you ever tried to get 4 sleep-deprived children out of bed, fed, out the front door in enough time to catch the bus, you'd know darn well it's not just 'your problem'.
You listed your kids ages...
You should no longer be getting ANY of the up for school, maybe assisting the 11 year olds but ONLY if you need to.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Remisc View Post
I'm still wondering what caused the backlash about my children's bedtime...
Because, just because you have never heard of teens going to bed after 10pm on a school night doesn't make that true, my brother only has one friend who still has a bed time and it's enforced that he is in bed at like 9pm but this kid was in a psych ward over the summer for suicidal/behavioral reasons and his parents really cracked down on him.

Quote:
Originally Posted by TheViking85 View Post
Well, it seems a bit squared and inflexible, for some people that doesn't work very well.

I'm one of those people who's unable to have a sleep rhythm, and as much as i like sleeping 8 hours straight, if I do, I can kiss sleep the next day goodbye. I've always been like that, and it was only when I just dealt with it by sleeping when I was tired, and had the opportunity (be it at 2pm or 4am) that it worked out for me, so 10pm to 6am isn't for everyone. Seems to work for you, I think some just thought it a bit too strict, as long as the kids do what they should.
I am the same way, if I get a good nights sleep one night, no way will I be getting to bed before 4am the next night.
I am more of a night person too.
That and I can't sleep unless I am dead tired and cannot control myself from falling asleep.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Remisc View Post
I know, some people are like that. But, if you have a consistent sleep pattern, you may be able to develop a sleep rhythm. That's the way I see it. And, there's a huge upside to waking up early. There's no rushing to go catch the bus, so they can eat a good breakfast and pick out their clothes, and still have some time to watch TV or something for a little bit. The only rule I have in the morning is no computer. They get tangled up in all those websites and lose track of time. They miss the bus and I have to drive them in, and I wind up being late for work.
MAY BE....key words there. I cannot sleep normal hours and haven't been able since I was about 12 years old. The whole 10-6 would never work for me. First off, I need about 10 hours of sleep and I can't fall asleep before 2am and no way can I get up before about 10am or so. It just makes my body feel like crap when I wake up early. Doesn't feel right.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Remisc View Post
Never in my life have I heard of kids being allowed to go to bed after 10 PM on a school night.
I've never heard of a lot of things but that doesn't mean they aren't happening.

Quote:
Originally Posted by paganmama80 View Post
Lots of parents don't have bedtimes as their kids get older. The idea being if you stay up to late....you suffer the consequences the next day.
True. The only way people can truly learn is by learning for themselves.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Remisc View Post
Like I said, if you had to get four sleepy children out of bed, fed, and out the door before the bus to come...you'd know it's not just them that are suffering the consequences.
Make them walk. Sure they'll be late but then they get detention if they are and wouldn't having to walk to school and possibly getting a detention make you want to not be late.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Remisc View Post
My oldest is 16 too. But, I'm worried he would take advantage of being able to 'regulate himself' and stay up all night. Here, the latest you can sleep in on the weekends is 10. But, I appreciate you understanding the importance of waking up early.
Which is normal for you to worry but here's where you let go and see how he does. You can't just keep holding him back because you are worried, you gotta let him swim on his own and see if he floats or sinks.
Trust me you are doing no favors to a 16 year old boy by enforcing a bedtime.
You need to trust in how you raised him and see if he handle being a mature young adult.

Quote:
Originally Posted by paganmama80 View Post
They are growing of course but i am not going to force them to bed. Part of them becoming adults is being mature enough to know they need enough sleep.
True again.
And only that person can find it out for themselves.

Quote:
Originally Posted by aidxen View Post
Like adults, kids are creatures of habit.
Good habits, grumpy habits.
Kids fit into the structure you create.
Adults are in charge.
They set the tone.
Given half a chance kids will stay up all night and not care about the consequences the next day. They are just not that mature.

I think that comes in when they hit 40
You under estimate children, teens and young adults. It almost comes off as a superiority attitude. If you told you kids no bedtime Friday night, they could go to bed whenever but you expected them to make a smart choice, I doubt they would be up ALL night.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Remisc View Post
LOL, I still kinda am. To be honest, when I first posted my rules, I thought the one's that everyone would have an issue with would be:
-Loud music goes off and all snacking stops at 9:00, computer and phones are turned off at 9:30
and
-This isn't a restaurant, my kids are expected to eat whatever's being made. No special orders.
And I mentioned something but you didn't say anything back.
And usually when I say stuff, people rage and AnonChick dies a little bit inside each time..

But since you seem to want people to reply...I will.
OMG I never turn off my phone. Never have never will.
It goes on vibrate or silent but I never turn it off.
I couldn't live with that rule.

Quote:
Originally Posted by chicagojlo View Post
We have a large number of these rules in our house:

No shoes (not just because we have a baby about to start crawling)
Bedtime (although pajama time is 30 minutes before and the time in between is free time)
One meal, no variations (although I will give my daughter the chicken and the pasta before I put sauce in the pan)
No shouting throughout the house
No snacks after school if you didn't eat your vegetables the night before
No drinks after dinner
Homework is done the minute she gets in from school
Tv and game time is fairly restricted
Her room has to be tidied before she can play
No gum, no soda, no junk toys like zhuzhu pets
No drinks after dinner?
Wtf?
What if she is thirsty? Is she just SOL?
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Old 09-19-2010, 01:45 AM
 
Location: West Coast USA
1,577 posts, read 1,780,829 times
Reputation: 3134
Quote:
Originally Posted by cgmom33 View Post
Why would parents restrict themselves from access to their kids' bedrooms? My daughter would love that...she wouldn't even feel the need to try and stash her alcohol, as well as other substances she's been caught with before.
Restricting ourselves from their rooms is great, if we can trust them. Sometimes, we can't. I restricted myself from my children's rooms -- from going in alone, anyway -- until my daughter went through a rough time. Then, out of obligation to my daughter, I told her I was no longer restricted. When she straightened her life back up, I was again restricted -- by me. We had a policy of knocking and being allowed to enter, which was for all of us.
__________________________________________________ ______

Sleeping in until noon -- that was something I did not allow, except for a few days at the very beginning of summer, just because I saw it as luxurious for them. I didn't encourage that, but they knew I would allow it. Toward the end of summer, the sleeping rules became stringent, in order to prepare them for school schedules.
__________________________________________________ ______

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ceece View Post
Boy some of you would HATE my household! There was a game tournament going on in my kitchen until 3am this morning. No problem for me since I went to bed after 1am myself but since nobody has plans today it's not a big deal. This isn't unusual either, we just don't keep those early bird hours. Everyone is over 18 though so I guess that's the kicker.
I think that this is a wonderful change from the norm, that should occur as a special treat! Why not, if your family has no plans for the next day.

Here's something I did for the children on non-school nights. I wish I had thought to do it more often:
I copied my daughter's handwriting the best i could and put a note in my son's bed saying something like, "Be real quiet. Don't say anything to Mom. There's a bunch of party stuff for just you and me in the closet down the hall. Come down there, get the bag, and bring it to my room."

Downstairs, I heard him quietly go down the hall, open the closet, get the bag, and knock on her door.

"What?" she asks.
"It's me," he whispers.
"What do you want?"
"I have the bag of party stuff. Can I come in?"
"What???"

Finally, he got in her room, they whispered back and forth, then they giggled. And downstairs, I was snickering and having as much fun as they were, just imagining what they were thinking and doing.

They were good about it, had their party, and went to their beds. Oh, how I wish I had done it more often!!!
__________________________________________________ ______

What I have seen come out of homes without discipline: young persons who became adults and could not function properly at work, when they could get jobs! In better economic times, I also saw hopping from job to job, especially after being laid off when no one else was, or outright fired. I saw them having to take jobs at minimum wages. I saw them at jobs with minimum responsibility, because they could not be trusted. One of the major complaints my children had upon gaining employment was that others their age had no work ethic. My son, as a bank manager, still deals with that among people his age, younger, and older. My daughter, in order to not have to put up with that, chose a job where she is fully responsible for what goes on in her office. I also chose such a jub, but occasionally, I must hire temps. I am often amazed.
__________________________________________________ ______

Quote:
Originally Posted by Remisc View Post
I never understood the purpose of playing music loud, though. Care to explain?
Ha-ha-ha! Me either. I had a pleasant experience Saturday! I stopped beside a young man with his rap music on, and I could barely hear it! Yea! That is unusual! many thing we all have the right to be bounced about by their music, too, even though we are trying to hear only our own!
__________________________________________________ ______

Rats! I missed Remisc's family photo!!!
__________________________________________________ ______

It's just the two of us now, and we are trying so hard to do the no-shoes thing -- something I learned from my son and his family. We fail so miserably. But we are determined!!
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Old 09-19-2010, 02:19 AM
 
Location: Detroit's Marina District
970 posts, read 2,540,373 times
Reputation: 390
Quote:
Originally Posted by VelcroQueen View Post
Ha-ha-ha! Me either. I had a pleasant experience Saturday! I stopped beside a young man with his rap music on, and I could barely hear it! Yea! That is unusual! many thing we all have the right to be bounced about by their music, too, even though we are trying to hear only our own!

Haha, I've never heard rap music played 'quietly' at a stoplight before, lol.


Quote:
Originally Posted by VelcroQueen View Post
It's just the two of us now, and we are trying so hard to do the no-shoes thing -- something I learned from my son and his family. We fail so miserably. But we are determined!!
Trust me, I'm a big no-shoes person. I printed out a sign that says, "Shoes off, please!' and taped it to the door that goes from the garage to the house. I don't want my floors all filthied up.
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Old 09-19-2010, 02:22 AM
 
Location: West Coast USA
1,577 posts, read 1,780,829 times
Reputation: 3134
Quote:
Originally Posted by Remisc View Post
Haha, I've never heard rap music played 'quietly' at a stoplight before, lol.
As unusual and outstanding as the day I saw a bicyclist actually following road-rules! I really did see one! Serious! Honest!
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Old 09-19-2010, 02:27 AM
 
Location: Detroit's Marina District
970 posts, read 2,540,373 times
Reputation: 390
Quote:
Originally Posted by VelcroQueen View Post
As unusual and outstanding as the day I saw a bicyclist actually following road-rules! I really did see one! Serious! Honest!
It sounds like you live in some sort of Utopian Society...
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Old 09-19-2010, 02:36 AM
 
Location: Detroit's Marina District
970 posts, read 2,540,373 times
Reputation: 390
Quote:
Originally Posted by eugene1976 View Post
of couse .my landlord lady often quest me some
strange things about her's house
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Old 09-19-2010, 06:11 AM
 
Location: Canada
3,432 posts, read 3,266,661 times
Reputation: 2186
Quote:
Originally Posted by chicagojlo View Post
We have a large number of these rules in our house:

No shoes (not just because we have a baby about to start crawling)
Bedtime (although pajama time is 30 minutes before and the time in between is free time)
One meal, no variations (although I will give my daughter the chicken and the pasta before I put sauce in the pan)
No shouting throughout the house
No snacks after school if you didn't eat your vegetables the night before
No drinks after dinner
Homework is done the minute she gets in from school
Tv and game time is fairly restricted
Her room has to be tidied before she can play
No gum, no soda, no junk toys like zhuzhu pets
I've bolded the rules that I don't like. How about giving them vegetables as a snack after school. Kids get hungry at that time and depriving them of any food whatsoever because of their actions at dinner the night before????
Can they at least drink water after dinner or milk? People get thirsty.
What in the world is so wrong with gum? If its the sugar free kind?
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Old 09-19-2010, 06:12 AM
 
Location: Canada
3,432 posts, read 3,266,661 times
Reputation: 2186
Quote:
Originally Posted by eugene1976 View Post
of couse .my landlord lady often quest me some
strange things about her's house

Is this written in English? It sounds like medieval English LOL
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