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Old 05-27-2009, 04:38 PM
 
54 posts, read 55,916 times
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I say don't even bother going.
It sounds like there is going to be a lot of fighting and everyone is going to be stressed.
And I think that it will wear on his emotionally too, to go and the crap I can imagine that will go on.

I think you should vacation elsewhere.
Its only slightly further but I say go to daytona beach, florida. I went there when I was 10 and it was the best vacation ive ever had. Cheap beach side hotels and plently of things to do.
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Old 05-27-2009, 05:11 PM
 
2,466 posts, read 4,204,094 times
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I know everyone is saying don't go and not to take him. But if the arrangements have already been made and everyone at least on the ex's side knows he is coming and you decide to change your mind and not let him go, I'd be worried about the consequences. Leagally you are obligated to have your son available to the father when it is his time for visitation whether you like it or not. If you violate your custody papers and you do not make your son available he could decide to be an a$$ and take you to court for contempt which could go against you and who knows may put you in jail for a little while. You are lucky that the ex agreed to only two weeks if he is to have him for 2-3 months. He could change his mind and decide he wants him for his full time and there is nothing you can do about it. If you rock the boat now and decide not to let him go, your ex can decide to take him for his full time and there is nothing you can do to stop that. So you have to decide what is in the best interest of your son. Him spending two weeks with his father and family whether you are there or not, or maybe you loosing custody.

Either way, whether you go down there to be nearby or if you send your son down there alone and you and everyone else goes on a small vacation, you need to have your son available for the ex's visitation at least for this year because arrangements have been made. After that I would let sleeping dogs lie and let your ex be the one to bring up his visitation and whether or not he wants to excersise it. Keep a journal like I said that you can use later if need be to alter the visitation schedule.

From the sound of your ex's lack of interest in your son's life, your son would be better off having limited contact with him. It will be hard on your son for awhile, but if you have limited the amount of contact you can plan things that will keep your son occupied and keep his mind off the fact that he doesn't see his father all that much. Like put him in little league or get him into another sport or hobby like 4-H. If you are worried about having a positive male role model in your son's life get male relatives on your side to do things with him or get him in a Big Brothers program.
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Old 05-27-2009, 06:06 PM
 
43,012 posts, read 89,033,856 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wyoquilter View Post
Leagally you are obligated to have your son available to the father when it is his time for visitation whether you like it or not. If you violate your custody papers and you do not make your son available....
Did you read her post?

They live in TX and she lives in MO.

Legally they are supposed to pick him up at her house in MO.

She decided to go to TX and stay in a motel.

But they said they won't even pick him up while he's in the same state at the motel.

So, if she doesnt' go to TX, the ball is back in their court to pick him up in MO.

Since they don't even call and won't even pick him up when he's in TX, it's very unlikely they'll even try to have visitation with him.
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Old 05-27-2009, 06:35 PM
 
2,466 posts, read 4,204,094 times
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Originally Posted by Hopes View Post
Did you read her post?

They live in TX and she lives in MO.

Legally they are supposed to pick him up at her house in MO.

She decided to go to TX and stay in a motel.

But they said they won't even pick him up while he's in the same state at the motel.

So, if she doesnt' go to TX, the ball is back in their court to pick him up in MO.

Since they don't even call and won't even pick him up when he's in TX, it's very unlikely they'll even try to have visitation with him.
I did read her OP. I do know that it is her ex's obligation to come and get the child, but it is my understanding from her OP that she initiated this contact not the ex. If she would have let sleeping dogs lie in the first place then she wouldn't be here wanting advice on what to do. But because visitation arrangements have been made she needs to follow through.

She can most certainly change her mind and not take the boy to TX and make it so the ex has to come and get her son if he wants to excersise his visitation, but what concerns me is, What would the reprocutions of that be if she changes her mind now after arrangements have been made? If the ex ends up having to come and get the boy, then he may decide to keep him for his full visitation time, which sounds like would not be beneficial to the boy in the long run. If the ex has agreed to only two weeks instead of his 2-3 months then I say take it and don't complain. 2 weeks is far better for the boy to be away from his mom than 2-3 months.

It is possible that maybe the ex will not want to excersise his visitation, but it sounds as if his folks want to see the kid and they may push him to have his son for the full time if she backs out now. I say don't rattle cages. She doesn't have to stay in a more expensive hotel that is closer to the grandparent's home. Just by going to TX and having the child available for visitation has more than fullfilled her obligation in having the boy available for visitation. This will look good for her in the long run. If they fail to come and get the kid after she has been down there with him a day or two then she can possibly take the boy and leave without any leagal reprocutions. (I would take my divorce papers with me and contact the local police dept and explain what is going on and why she is leaving with the boy if she leaves with the boy) She needs to save her reciepts for the hotel and any and all cell phone or phone bills that shows she was in contact with the ex at the beginning of his visitation. Having witnesses with her that can say that they failed to come and get the child will also help.
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Old 05-27-2009, 06:45 PM
 
43,012 posts, read 89,033,856 times
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Originally Posted by wyoquilter View Post
But because visitation arrangements have been made she needs to follow through.
I disagree. The arrangements were being negotiated.

Since they refuse to pick the child up at the hotel, she doesn't have an obligation to proceed with the trip to TX.
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Old 05-27-2009, 07:46 PM
 
Location: St. Louis
4,677 posts, read 1,836,657 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wyoquilter View Post
I did read her OP. I do know that it is her ex's obligation to come and get the child, but it is my understanding from her OP that she initiated this contact not the ex. If she would have let sleeping dogs lie in the first place then she wouldn't be here wanting advice on what to do. But because visitation arrangements have been made she needs to follow through.
Sorry if I didn't make that part clear but they did initiate contact with me about it, but they wanted us to meet them halfway and let him go again for a few weeks and I said no to that and we decided on these plans.But they don't contact us any other time of year and they dont talk to Tyler at all.
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Old 05-27-2009, 09:02 PM
 
Location: Land of 10000 Lakes +
5,554 posts, read 5,870,151 times
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If the ex doesn't care enough about seeing his son, I doubt he will take her to court for lack of visitation.
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Old 05-27-2009, 09:28 PM
 
2,466 posts, read 4,204,094 times
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Originally Posted by Aylalou View Post
If the ex doesn't care enough about seeing his son, I doubt he will take her to court for lack of visitation.
I'd say that might be true if it was only the ex she had to deal with. But he has family that might push him into doing anything which could include taking her to court. The fact that the grandparents are already whining about the plans and where they would be staying while in TX says that they are capable of doing most anything if you crossed them. If they were completely out of the picture then daddy dearest would probably dissapear all together.
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