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Old 05-28-2009, 02:11 PM
 
Location: California
29,633 posts, read 31,957,040 times
Reputation: 24761

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Your mother sounds wonderful. You are lucky to have a mom who loves you and cares about you and is interested in having a relationship with you.

You sound like a spoiled brat.
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Old 05-28-2009, 03:14 PM
 
1,867 posts, read 3,601,051 times
Reputation: 589
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ceece View Post
Your mother sounds wonderful. You are lucky to have a mom who loves you and cares about you and is interested in having a relationship with you.

You sound like a spoiled brat.
WOW. A spoiled brat because she doesn't feel like answering the dumbest of questions every five seconds? A mother shows her love by being up your ass every second that you are in her home? Gimme a break, the mother is lonely and needs some friends.
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Old 05-28-2009, 03:20 PM
 
Location: Maine
650 posts, read 1,927,277 times
Reputation: 553
[quote=TrappednHades;9010786]Ok I've noticed another thing my mom does that bothers me and by bothers I mean it gets me thinking if its normal or healthy at all.

My mom is constantly asking us [my brother and I] what we are doing and where we are going...in our own home. Ex: I can walk up the stairs and she'll ask where I'm going. Basically anywhere and everywhere my brother and I go in the house she'll be like "where are you going?" I find this awkward because i've had millions of friends in my almost 20 years of life and no one elses parents have been like this.

Its like she is always right there around us in the house.

When my brother has friends spend the night she pesters them. Always checking up, walking by his room making comments.


I know if I don't like the things she does then I can leave but my brother can't so while I am here I would like to get her to a more normal point so when I leave he isn't dealing with her alone.


Does anyone know how to handle this?
Or have any tips to use to get her to stop acting like that at home?[/quote]
Move out and get a place of your own. Sure fire way to get the behavior to stop!
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Old 05-28-2009, 03:58 PM
 
Location: Denver, Colorado U.S.A.
14,174 posts, read 22,522,283 times
Reputation: 10428
My mother really annoyed me as a kid, and as a teenager. She just went on, and on, and on... talk talk talk, lecture, lecture, lecture. She spoke "at" me, not "to" me. Drove me nuts. So I left home at age 19, joined the military, and moved to the other side of the planet!

Over 20 years later, she's still the same way. I call her every few months to check up, and I can just set the phone down while she goes on and on about herself. She recently came to visit, and several people commented to me about how she just doesn't shut up, and how you can't have a converstation with her. So it's not just me, and she's never had any friends that I've know of - who wants a friend who just talks about herself?

So the moral of the story is, sometimes mothers are just annoying nuts and you have to get away! As sad as the story is. She was/is by no means a bad mother, just very annoying.
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Old 05-28-2009, 04:01 PM
 
Location: In My Own Little World. . .
3,238 posts, read 7,822,586 times
Reputation: 1596
Quote:
Originally Posted by TrappednHades View Post
I know if I don't like the things she does then I can leave but my brother can't so while I am here I would like to get her to a more normal point so when I leave he isn't dealing with her alone.
So what exactly are you "protecting" your brother from? Unnecessary questions? Doesn't sound like a good enough reason to me for you to sacrifice yourself so much. Move on, kiddoo.
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Old 05-28-2009, 04:04 PM
 
1,867 posts, read 3,601,051 times
Reputation: 589
Quote:
Originally Posted by 2girlsand2boys View Post
Move out and get a place of your own. Sure fire way to get the behavior to stop!
Is that y'alls only answer to this? So what you're saying is, if the OP is too young to get a good job to afford her own room and board, she should shut up and stop being annoyed by her annoying mother. Sorry, but that is just highly juvenile advice. Would you give that same advice if the mother was going a step further, like slapping her every time she asked where she's going? Would you then advise the OP to talk to her mom and ask her to stop or is it still the OP's fault and she should have to move out on her own, despite OBVIOUSLY not having the funds at such a young age. How about discussing her feelings with her mother and politely asking her to stop.

Last edited by jeannie216; 05-28-2009 at 05:56 PM.. Reason: watch the language
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Old 05-28-2009, 04:06 PM
 
1,867 posts, read 3,601,051 times
Reputation: 589
Quote:
Originally Posted by colleeng47 View Post
So what exactly are you "protecting" your brother from? Unnecessary questions? Doesn't sound like a good enough reason to me for you to sacrifice yourself so much. Move on, kiddoo.
Did YOU have the money to move out at such a young age?
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Old 05-28-2009, 04:08 PM
 
Location: Connecticut
1,461 posts, read 4,103,010 times
Reputation: 1646
Quote:
Originally Posted by TrappednHades View Post
Ok I've noticed another thing my mom does that bothers me and by bothers I mean it gets me thinking if its normal or healthy at all.My mom is constantly asking us [my brother and I] what we are doing and where we are going...in our own home. Ex: I can walk up the stairs and she'll ask where I'm going. Basically anywhere and everywhere my brother and I go in the house she'll be like "where are you going?" I find this awkward because i've had millions of friends in my almost 20 years of life and no one elses parents have been like this. Its like she is always right there around us in the house. When my brother has friends spend the night she pesters them. Always checking up, walking by his room making comments.I know if I don't like the things she does then I can leave but my brother can't so while I am here I would like to get her to a more normal point so when I leave he isn't dealing with her alone.
Does anyone know how to handle this?
Or have any tips to use to get her to stop acting like that at home?
I feel bad for you. Your Mom is having an issue trusting her kids and it is really obvious that she thinks that staying right on top of what her kids are doing is the answer. It isn't. I am 61 years old, have a son who is 40 and raised him by myself; his Dad was not a part of his life. Was it tough and was I worried about him..you betcha. I did not stay right on top of what he was doing and the only time I asked him "Where are you going" is when he left the house to go out with friends. No need to know every step your kids are taking.

First of all...does your Mom have any reason to be all over you guys like she is? Have either of you given her any grief that would make her so over possessive? If so, then I can understand some of this behavior but not to this extreme.

My suggestion to you as the eldest....tell her that you need to have a talk with her and tell her how you feel about her smothering you and your brother. Don't be afraid she will toss you out. Any Mom who is as conscious of her kids whereabouts as she is, is not going to toss anyone out. Ask her if either you or your brother have done anything to make her act this way, if not then ask her if you can work something out to take all this pressure off of all of you.

Good luck sweetie...parents can be a big pain in the posterior end at times but it does sound to me like Mom loves you boys a whole lot so try the talking it out routine first...no arguing...just talking and Good Luck
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Old 05-28-2009, 04:10 PM
 
Location: In My Own Little World. . .
3,238 posts, read 7,822,586 times
Reputation: 1596
Quote:
Originally Posted by quelinda View Post
Did YOU have the money to move out at such a young age?
Yes, I did have the money, and yes I did move out. In my day we couldn't wait to get out on our own. I had three roommates and there were times we ate ketchup soup for dinner, but we had money for beer for a party! Good times. We learned to be adults. And we didn't have to worry about annoying habits our parents had. Some of the best times of my life was then.
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Old 05-28-2009, 04:13 PM
 
Location: Connecticut
1,461 posts, read 4,103,010 times
Reputation: 1646
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ceece View Post
Your mother sounds wonderful. You are lucky to have a mom who loves you and cares about you and is interested in having a relationship with you.

You sound like a spoiled brat.
Why is this "kid" a spoiled brat? The OP is 20 years old and far from being a "baby" or a "spoiled brat". I agree that his Mom loves him but the smothering stuff is not good. At 20, this young man needs to feel some degree of independence and maturity. If he tells his Mom where he is going when he LEAVES the house, that should be enough. Why when both he and his brother are merely going upstairs does she have to know where they are going or what they are doing??

If this doesn't ease up there will be no relationship for this Mom and her kids...they won't want her around them because she is so in their face all the time.
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