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Old 05-28-2009, 08:16 PM
 
47,576 posts, read 58,745,541 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by quelinda View Post
Is that y'alls only answer to this? So what you're saying is, if the OP is too young to get a good job to afford her own room and board, she should shut up and stop being annoyed by her annoying mother. Sorry, but that is just highly juvenile advice. Would you give that same advice if the mother was going a step further, like slapping her every time she asked where she's going? Would you then advise the OP to talk to her mom and ask her to stop or is it still the OP's fault and she should have to move out on her own, despite OBVIOUSLY not having the funds at such a young age. How about discussing her feelings with her mother and politely asking her to stop.

I think the OP is plenty old enough to move out if she isn't happy mooching off her mother and living in her mother's house.

When you find your parents are too annoying - that's a good time to stop living off them, pack up your bags and find your own place.

What you don't do is live in someone's house and then complain about them.
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Old 05-28-2009, 08:20 PM
 
47,576 posts, read 58,745,541 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by quelinda View Post
Did YOU have the money to move out at such a young age?
19 is hardly a young age. I didn't move out at 19 because I was working my way through college and letting me live with them was how my parents helped but I could have done so. I still moved out at age 21 even still in college and working my way to pay for it.
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Old 05-28-2009, 08:58 PM
 
Location: NE Oklahoma
1,036 posts, read 2,580,520 times
Reputation: 1080
I turned 18 and moved out three days later because I had the same syndrome. You know the one... the "Don't Tell Me What To Do I Am 18 And I Will Make My Own Decisions" one. So I did. It was probably the best thing I ever did. I ate Raman Noodles for 6 months to pay the rent and electricity. It gave me strength and character. If you are of the same mind you are perfectly legal to sign a lease. Do it. Either that or suck it up and deal with your Mom. If SHE is paying the rent, SHE makes the rules. Simple as that.

No problem then it is only "How Do I Feed Myself AND Buy Beer" syndrome. hahahahahaha.
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Old 05-29-2009, 01:29 AM
 
54 posts, read 55,921 times
Reputation: 22
Quote:
Originally Posted by Niftybergin View Post
This is just my take: Your disdain for your mother has been evident in all your posts. You may love her, but you don't give the impression that you like her or respect her. You don't enjoy her company or her presence in your life. You view her as a huge imposition and an obstacle. If she would completely leave you alone, you'd be happy as a clam. So long as she continued to foot the bill for your room and board, of course.

So you want to know why your mother is always asking where you're going or what you're doing? Why she's always hanging around you? At a guess, I'd say it's because she's your mother and she's painfully aware that you can't stand her. Maybe she's trying desperately to connect with you, to re-establish a bond that you guys might have had once upon a time. If you'd look beyond yourself for a moment, you'd maybe realize how hurtful your behavior and attitude is toward your mother. Although, to be honest, there's not much I've read in your posts that suggests you really care.

Stop analyzing your mother and thinking about whether her behavior is healthy or not. It doesn't matter. Look...every minute that you spend focusing on her and her behavior and issues is just a minute that you're not focused on living your own life, on enjoying your life, on improving yourself. You've written all these posts in which you catalogue all the various ways your mother is deficient or defective or not a good mother or weird or temperamental or controlling or unfair or WHATEVER! At 19, you're an adult. Time to put away the "done-to-me" list.

You want to know how you handle this newest behavior of your mother's? I'll tell you. The next time she asks you where you're going, you answer her...respectfully. The next time she asks what you're doing, answer her...respectfully. Show an interest in your mother's life. INVITE her to do things with you and be part of your life. Stop acting like the fact that she's breathing your air is an insult to you. You're 19. You're at a stage in your life when you and your mother truly can be friends, when you can start to view each other as peers and not just as mother and daughter.

The ONLY person you can control is yourself. You want to know how you get your mother to change? Well, here it is. The secret to getting your mother to change is for YOU to change. We respond to the stimuli around us. When you change, she'll change.

I don't want my mom out of my life. In fact I want her to be in my life more than she is now. I wish she would stop doing the things she is doing.
And you are right, I don't like being around her, she puts me down, calls me name and is bitter towards the world because she thinks everyone is horrible and she throws fits out in public. So it is very stressful to be around her. She is not a nice person.
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Old 05-29-2009, 02:07 AM
 
54 posts, read 55,921 times
Reputation: 22
Ok jeez.

My mom isn't just annoy she is very verbally abusive and the only time she talks to me is when she is yelling at me and asking me a question.
On a few occasions she gets physically abusive: shoving, she'll slap my face, slosh drinks in my face. She hasn't hit me since last time and I called the cops on her.


I do not want my mom to get out of my life, I do not want her to just shut and foot my bills.
I was ASKED by HER to not work my first semester of college, she told me wanted me to focus on school. I am getting 2 jobs this summer...moocher my ass. I'll be paying health and car insurance. Ill pay her the $30 for my cell phone and hell ill even throw in part of the internet.
I want her to take an interest in MY life. Instead of telling me everything I do is stupid. Calling me a betch every 5 minutes or yelling at me about how much she hates me and the rest of the world.
She has never supported me in sports, I had to beg her to come to my games.
She thinks my plans for college and my career are a joke.

The other day she called me a fat wh00re. Told me that me and all the other teenage girls these days look like guys with long hair.
And that no one wears cami's all the time.(In reference to how I wear those under cami's to bed and under my shirts.) She thinks I am weird because I wear a sports bra or cami under my shirt to bed.


She picks at me and my preferences. She makes herself the most un enjoyable person to be around.
She tells me I am weird because of the cami thing, because I shave my legs everyday.
I went through a traumatic hair experience and she told me all the time how my hair looked horrible.
She hates my sense of humor.
She hates the music I listen to.
She hates the tv shows I like with the exception of greys anatomy.



So don't tell me I want my mom to just shut up and leave me alone and let me mooch off of her.

I want my mom to return to the person she was about 6 years ago. A much sweeter and gentler version of my mom. Someone who went to all my volleyball games and hugged me everyday, gave me a kiss before bed.
I dont even get hugs anymore.
I would love to actually spend some time with her, ive asked her for so long time after time and she finally told me she didn't want to do anything with me because she didn't like anything I liked.

My mom is a very mean spirited and judgemental person. She isn't easy to get along with and find faults with everyone and then holds it against them.

I am not some delinquint teen who wants no rules around the house and to mooch off my mom.

I want my mom back, the person who she used to be, she used to not be this bad. I want her to be a reasonable and decent person. Her outrageous behavior makes me want to not even listen to a single word she says, she isn't the voice of reason anymore so why should I listen?
She doesn't make sense and she goes way out there with the things she says.


You guys can harp on me all you want. Maciesmom you can hate all you want.

But I am just a 19 year old who went through tough times in high school and didn't give up and graduated and walked stage and everything. And I am now trying to get myself up and on my feet and into my dream career. I have high aspirations and education/career goals. I am trying my hardest to get on my feet but its slow going. Once I have my two jobs I have lined up my life is going to change for the better.
I have feelings too btw.

You guys have to understand that I can't just up and move out and start paying for everything right now. I need to get some money saved up. Right now, I have $21 to my name and I am building from there. Thats going to take a bit, especially if you figure that i'll get a couple hundred every two weeks.
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Old 05-29-2009, 02:07 AM
 
1,867 posts, read 3,600,236 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by malamute View Post
I think the OP is plenty old enough to move out if she isn't happy mooching off her mother and living in her mother's house.

When you find your parents are too annoying - that's a good time to stop living off them, pack up your bags and find your own place.

What you don't do is live in someone's house and then complain about them.
LOL y'all are some mean ass moms! A kid barely out of her teens is mooching by living with their parent? The girl is either in college or she's making some crap money. I dont know many 20 year olds that can make too much more than minimum wage. I wouldn't want my kid living like sh*t cuz I just can't wait to get rid of her the second she turns 18. If that's the case, why bother having kids if their such "moochers"?
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Old 05-29-2009, 02:17 AM
 
54 posts, read 55,921 times
Reputation: 22
Quote:
Originally Posted by quelinda View Post
LOL y'all are some mean ass moms! A kid barely out of her teens is mooching by living with their parent? The girl is either in college or she's making some crap money. I dont know many 20 year olds that can make too much more than minimum wage. I wouldn't want my kid living like sh*t cuz I just can't wait to get rid of her the second she turns 18. If that's the case, why bother having kids if their such "moochers"?
Thank you.
What I am doing is the most financially responsible thing to do.
Hopefully with these two jobs I can save up a lot of money and move out and be able to live in my own. You can't pay rent on an apartment, car insurance, car payment and bills making $8 an hour. With my lifeguarding job ill probably make about $10..maybe $15 Idk.
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Old 05-29-2009, 02:20 AM
 
1,867 posts, read 3,600,236 times
Reputation: 589
Palease. These people are expecting an awful lot out of someone your age. They sound meaner than your mom, who sounds like a cruel, miserable, hateful person who really does need to be gotten away from the very second its possible. She is bringing you down with her misery and its so sad. Any chance you could get some student loans and transfer to a school that is a distance from your family and live in the dorms?
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Old 05-29-2009, 02:33 AM
 
54 posts, read 55,921 times
Reputation: 22
Quote:
Originally Posted by quelinda View Post
Palease. These people are expecting an awful lot out of someone your age. They sound meaner than your mom, who sounds like a cruel, miserable, hateful person who really does need to be gotten away from the very second its possible. She is bringing you down with her misery and its so sad. Any chance you could get some student loans and transfer to a school that is a distance from your family and live in the dorms?
They aren't mean. They just have made accusastions about the situation and don't understand it fully. If they were here they would know.
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Old 05-29-2009, 09:47 AM
 
Location: Sacramento
2,568 posts, read 5,842,529 times
Reputation: 1905
Quote:
Originally Posted by TrappednHades View Post
They aren't mean. They just have made accusastions about the situation and don't understand it fully. If they were here they would know.
What happens is that you start threads with one issue that is weird and then when people don't agree with you you come up with 50 other things your mom does. If your mom is truly that horrible then you are not going to change her. So you have 2 choices put up with it or move out. Very simple.
BTW I don't believe 18 yo should be left to fend for themselves just because they turned 18. Do you have any relatives you can move in with?
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