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Old 05-27-2009, 04:11 PM
 
54 posts, read 55,916 times
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Ok I've noticed another thing my mom does that bothers me and by bothers I mean it gets me thinking if its normal or healthy at all.

My mom is constantly asking us [my brother and I] what we are doing and where we are going...in our own home. Ex: I can walk up the stairs and she'll ask where I'm going. Basically anywhere and everywhere my brother and I go in the house she'll be like "where are you going?" I find this awkward because i've had millions of friends in my almost 20 years of life and no one elses parents have been like this.

Its like she is always right there around us in the house.

When my brother has friends spend the night she pesters them. Always checking up, walking by his room making comments.


I know if I don't like the things she does then I can leave but my brother can't so while I am here I would like to get her to a more normal point so when I leave he isn't dealing with her alone.


Does anyone know how to handle this?
Or have any tips to use to get her to stop acting like that at home?
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Old 05-27-2009, 04:14 PM
 
Location: Sacramento
2,568 posts, read 5,842,032 times
Reputation: 1905
I have no advice for you other than ask your mother why she does it.
My 4yo does it to me and it drives me up the wall, I can't imagine having a parent do it.
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Old 05-27-2009, 04:19 PM
 
54 posts, read 55,916 times
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Its weird and I hate having to explain every single one of my actions atleast 50 times a day.
What kills me is when she ask me why.
Where are you going?....My room...Why?...

Most the time I am busy and in the middle of something and I just want to get it done and I keep getting interupted every 5 seconds.

Usually my response is "im just..geh..*sighs*..hold on"
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Old 05-27-2009, 04:24 PM
 
2,861 posts, read 6,259,832 times
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Who knows why she does this - I agree it is weird. Here are some of the possible reasons:

She is bored and lonesome and wants to start a conversation but doesn't really know what to say to you.

You and/or your brother have done something in the past to make her not trust you so she thinks you might be up to no good.

It is a verbal bad habit and she doesn't even realize that she does this.

I would try to talk to her about the situation. The conversation could go something like this:

You: Mom, I feel a bit annoyed when you ask me where I'm going everytime I leave the room. It makes me feel like you are invading my privacy or checking up on me.

Mom: Oh, honey. I had no idea that I did that.

You: That's OK Mom - from now on when you do it, I'll point it out and we can laugh about it, but I'm still not going to answer you. I bet you'll quit asking all the time!


Again - I agree. Strange.
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Old 05-27-2009, 04:24 PM
 
Location: Southern NC
1,917 posts, read 4,227,884 times
Reputation: 2500
Next time say.."I'm going to the other side of the room...wanna go with me?"
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Old 05-27-2009, 04:30 PM
 
54 posts, read 55,916 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pinetreelover View Post
Who knows why she does this - I agree it is weird. Here are some of the possible reasons:

She is bored and lonesome and wants to start a conversation but doesn't really know what to say to you.

You and/or your brother have done something in the past to make her not trust you so she thinks you might be up to no good.

It is a verbal bad habit and she doesn't even realize that she does this.

I would try to talk to her about the situation. The conversation could go something like this:

You: Mom, I feel a bit annoyed when you ask me where I'm going everytime I leave the room. It makes me feel like you are invading my privacy or checking up on me.

Mom: Oh, honey. I had no idea that I did that.

You: That's OK Mom - from now on when you do it, I'll point it out and we can laugh about it, but I'm still not going to answer you. I bet you'll quit asking all the time!


Again - I agree. Strange.
Neither my brother or I have gotten into drugs. Neither of us have snuck out or gotten in serious trouble. We are both explorers with the police department.
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Old 05-27-2009, 04:33 PM
 
Location: Sacramento
2,568 posts, read 5,842,032 times
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Does she have any friends? Where is your father?
She sounds very needy.
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Old 05-27-2009, 05:19 PM
 
Location: Denver area
21,142 posts, read 22,127,166 times
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Last I heard, you were an adult living rent free in your mother's home. She may be quirky etc. but you have the option of getting a job and moving out. Will it be easy or convenient or as cheap as living at home? I doubt it. I'm sure there are things you do that she finds annoying/irritating also (perhaps staying up all night and sleeping all day??). Sounds like you both have too much time on your hands.
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Old 05-27-2009, 05:27 PM
 
54 posts, read 55,916 times
Reputation: 22
Like I said. I know I have that option but my brother doesn't. He turns 15 in July and still has quite a bit to go.
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Old 05-27-2009, 05:32 PM
 
Location: Denver area
21,142 posts, read 22,127,166 times
Reputation: 35582
There is not a person on the face of the earth that does not have annoying habits. You learn to live with them or not. She appears to be odd, not abusive. If it turns out to be too much for your brother, he can always move in with you. It sounds like you have survived to adulthood despite your mother's quirks.
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