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Old 05-30-2009, 10:22 AM
Location: Southern NC
1,917 posts, read 4,229,567 times
Reputation: 2500


Originally Posted by JustJulia View Post
Mine can and do, and they always have. We've lived in three states, including California, which is famous for its litigious nature. I think it's important to keep a sense of reality, rather than magnifying the instance of a few overly sensitive people into some imaginary plague of oppression.
I don't think it's imaginary...I see the same thing on my side of the country.
Of course, it's not "all" I see....but it is getting worse.
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Old 05-30-2009, 12:08 PM
Location: Loudoun County, VA
1,148 posts, read 3,298,495 times
Reputation: 402
Huh, its interesting to read these comments. I guess what drew my attention is how I've seen a couple of kids and their parents react to "stupid" like someone just said the f-word. I remember having the biggest potty mouth as a kid (still do..) and I ended up growing up just fine.

My 3-year old keeps saying "stop it" but with his speech delay it sounds like "stupid". His nanny freaked out.

I have to admit I'm getting a little stressed out about school and especially if I'm raising a kid who gets in trouble because of using words like stupid. I still think it's a fine word.
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Old 05-30-2009, 12:24 PM
Location: Sacramento
2,568 posts, read 5,844,037 times
Reputation: 1905
There is nothing wrong with the word to me. Now I may object to how it is used. Just like I hate when kids say "it is too hard" when they do not know how to do something before even trying.
I have more objections to the word "nasty". Specially when kids use it to refer to food they do not like.
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Old 05-30-2009, 12:56 PM
3,071 posts, read 7,577,238 times
Reputation: 2057
i don't know when I was growing up "butt" & "retarded" & "hate" were bad words
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Old 05-30-2009, 12:59 PM
3,084 posts, read 6,472,158 times
Reputation: 4430
It's the normal ladder of preferences when it comes to language.
Stupid used to be used in a tame way, today it's used in a very vicious derogatory way. Too many people grew up being told they were stupid by their parents and the only way to change that perception is to either get rid of the word, or drop it to a level of distaste so low that the only ones who use it are those who really mean it.

Same thing happened to the qu--- word. It used to simply mean odd. Now look at what it has become.
Or gay, as already mentioned. Or retarded.

It's all about implication and perception and how it affects people.

Same reasoning behind many of the job title changes. Garbage man to Sanitation Engineer. Secretary to Administrative Assistant. For me personally, Day Care to Child Care. (I am so much more than the general perception of day care that it is an insult to me to be called as such)

Stupid is a word that is not in my house either except for the very rare occurrence. We find it extremely derogatory, offensive and distasteful. But that's our choice.
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Old 05-30-2009, 01:08 PM
Location: Mid-Atlantic
1,820 posts, read 3,902,322 times
Reputation: 1896
I don't like the word "stupid" at all and therefore do not allow my children to say it. The thing is that almost all of the Disney movies include that word and of course many of the other kids use it at school as well...
I know that eventually it will probably be used,I hope that at least they learn that it isn't a word we use to describe or talk about another person.... an object ,well... it will happen!
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Old 05-30-2009, 01:20 PM
2,702 posts, read 5,160,255 times
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My mother's real bad-word pet-peeve was the word "hate." If my brother or I said, "I hate you!" (to each other, which we did frequently!) or "I hate lima beans!" or "I hate that shirt!" or "I hate having to clean my room!" my mother would chide us: "'HATE'? You HATE it? Don't you think that's rather extreme? You don't HATE it. Come on now...." I guess it wore off on me, because I will still correct myself if I say that word. More than one friend of mine has heard me backstep: "Oh, I don't mean I hate it. That's silly. But I sure don't like it much!"

(Incidentally, my off-limits word is "uptight." I can't stand hearing someone referred to as "uptight," and I won't use that word myself.)

Here's a related question to you guys...
I live in an apartment and there are a few kids who live in my building. Every afternoon when I get home from work, they're hanging out outside, playing, etc. The other day I was inside the apartment when I heard this group of kids engaged in an insult match outside my door. The oldest girl (who is about 10) was in it with the other girl around her age and a couple of the other kids, and they were yelling insults back and forth: "Well, you're stupid!" "Well, you're UGLY, and I'd rather be stupid than ugly!" "No, YOU'RE ugly because of your UGLY face!" You get the drift. They started getting into details -- you're stupid because you can't read, you're ugly because your hair is nappy, nobody likes you because you stink. That sort of thing. Ultimately it didn't last too long, but it escalated pretty fast, and the insults were very personal. It REALLY bothered me. I wanted to open the door and break it up. I know the power of those kinds of words, and I didn't want to just sit there while I listened to those kids say such hateful things to one another. (It's too easy to imagine that the kid who couldn't read very well really did believe she was stupid, for instance.) Just as I'd decided to intervene, they broke it off and wandered away.

So what would you guys have done? Nothing? Just let it go on? Or would you have spoken up? And what would you have said to them? I didn't know the kids, and that was a large part of the reason why I hesitated. Would you have let that stop you, or would you have intervened right away?
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Old 05-30-2009, 01:44 PM
Location: Ca2Mo2Ga2Va!
2,736 posts, read 5,794,136 times
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The word stupid does not bother me but I won't allow my kids to use it about a person. Really, the rarely say it though.
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Old 05-30-2009, 01:50 PM
Location: NW Montana
283 posts, read 643,115 times
Reputation: 259
The mother in me would have intervened. I would have told them that the words they are using really hurt feelings and they shouldn't talk to each other that way. It probably would have gone in one ear and out the other, but I still would have said something. Now, that being said, I still live in a small town where people will speak up to kids and we don't have to worry about someone pulling a gun or them running to their parents and the parents in turn breaking the windows out of our car. I know that where my sister lives in Texas, she wouldn't dare chastise some other person's children.
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Old 05-30-2009, 01:51 PM
Location: southern california
55,237 posts, read 72,472,599 times
Reputation: 47456
negative labels stick with us. if you live in the deep south once you are labeled as a loser you had been move or join the army to get another shot at life, otherwise you will be pumping gas til you are dead.
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