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Old 05-30-2009, 06:53 PM
 
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Because I have a wide range of ages among my kids, I do allow them to say stupid. They may NOT call each other stupid. To be honest, when they became preteens and started saying "retard", "sucks" and other words I find more offensive than "stupid", I decided I would allow stupid. They aren't allowed to use the other words.

I hate to admit it, but I say stupid, too!
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Old 05-30-2009, 06:58 PM
 
604 posts, read 1,051,117 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by EuroExpat View Post
We've been running into parents going nuts when their kids say the word "stupid". Not about another person (i.e. you're stupid) but about an object, such as homework, being "stupid". Why is it a bad word? I keep hearing kids saying stuff like "oh shoot" or "darn it" (just a fancy way of saying that other word) all the time and their parents don't mind. So why the word "stupid"? Our child is only a toddler and we're starting to watch what we're saying around him. But "stupid" never crossed our minds as necessarily a bad word. What do you think?
It's pretty stupid to call homework stupid.
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Old 05-30-2009, 07:00 PM
 
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We do not allow the word stupid in our house, because our youngest likes to use it to denigrate himself when he screws up. Obviously, we also disallow the use of the word to insult each other, too.
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Old 05-30-2009, 07:19 PM
 
Location: The Hall of Justice
25,907 posts, read 34,995,988 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by stormy night View Post
So, because I view society as headed for the sewer, I should leave? This is my country. This is my home, and I should leave because I think differently than you do? That's exactly the attitude that I'm talking about. Maybe YOU should leave, since YOU don't agree with ME.
I didn't mean leave the country. You haven't seen all of this one, right? I mean, you don't live any of the places I've lived, because the things you see are not there.
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Old 05-30-2009, 07:26 PM
 
Location: The Hall of Justice
25,907 posts, read 34,995,988 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hopes View Post
It's not an imaginary plague of oppression. Where I live, it's a the policy of the school districts to not allow hugging and touching among students as young as kindergarteners. Apparently that's the case where StormyNight lives too since I instantly recognized what her post meant when you didn't. And others have posted that this is the trend where they live too.

Just because you've lived in three states doesn't make you an expert on what's happening in places you've never lived. It's rather odd you would want to tell people they are imagining things---like their experiences aren't real. Nobody is trying to tell you that you're imaginging your experiences.
I am trying to tell you that not everyplace is like that. This started out with Stormy saying "Kids aren't allowed to touch one another" and "Kids aren't allowed to have recess anymore." I asked Stormy who she meant, and she answered like it's this nationwide epidemic. It's not. I'm sorry if it is where you live, too. It's not where I live, and that's all I said.

My children are 5, 11 and 13. Not once in their whole lives--at something like 10 schools, maybe more--have they been forbidden from hugging others or having recess. All their schools have been very emphatic and positive about helping kids make good decisions and become thinking human beings.
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Old 05-30-2009, 08:24 PM
 
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Adults are WAY too over-involved in kids behavior. Even on this thread, people are saying they don't allow these words, they don't allow this and that, they would intervene, etc.. How can you not call that micromanaging?
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Old 05-30-2009, 08:28 PM
 
Location: Sacramento
2,568 posts, read 5,841,274 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by stormy night View Post
Adults are WAY too over-involved in kids behavior. Even on this thread, people are saying they don't allow these words, they don't allow this and that, they would intervene, etc.. How can you not call that micromanaging?
It is call teaching. Then you hope they remember when you are not around.
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Old 05-30-2009, 08:30 PM
 
756 posts, read 1,946,038 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by stormy night View Post
Adults are WAY too over-involved in kids behavior. Even on this thread, people are saying they don't allow these words, they don't allow this and that, they would intervene, etc.. How can you not call that micromanaging?
What you call micromanaging I called caring, involved parenting. Unfortunately in todays world I see too many parents too stressed or for whatever reason don't have enough time to be a parent to their children.

I disagree that parents can be over-involved with their kids behavior. Todays world requires hands on parents.

Stormy, are you a mom or a dad?
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Old 05-30-2009, 08:35 PM
 
1,986 posts, read 3,467,677 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by formercalifornian View Post
We do not allow the word stupid in our house, because our youngest likes to use it to denigrate himself when he screws up. Obviously, we also disallow the use of the word to insult each other, too.
Do you think by not allowing him to use the word, he doesn't still think it? Think about that. By keeping the word out of your house, only makes him internalize it.

So when he used it to denigrate himself, he thinks he just can't verbalize how he thinks of himself. Instead, had you re-inforced his goodness and left the word alone, it would have built on his self-esteem.

When you make it about the word instead of him, tells him what he says is more important than what he thinks of himself.
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Old 05-30-2009, 08:43 PM
 
43,012 posts, read 89,018,139 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by flowerpowa2 View Post
I disagree that parents can be over-involved with their kids behavior. Todays world requires hands on parents.
What makes you think today's world requires more hands-on parents than yesterday's world?
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