U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 05-30-2009, 09:46 PM
 
Location: Denver 'burbs
21,163 posts, read 22,162,714 times
Reputation: 35681

Advertisements

Quote:
Do you think by not allowing him to use the word, he doesn't still think it? Think about that. By keeping the word out of your house, only makes him internalize it.

I disagree. Verbalizing something tends to reinforce it. Also, there is nothing in the world wrong with teaching that we need not verbalize every thought we have. Some thoughts are better kept to ourselves.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 05-30-2009, 09:47 PM
 
43,012 posts, read 89,161,157 times
Reputation: 30264
Quote:
Originally Posted by stormy night View Post
Do you think by not allowing him to use the word, he doesn't still think it? Think about that. By keeping the word out of your house, only makes him internalize it.

So when he used it to denigrate himself, he thinks he just can't verbalize how he thinks of himself. Instead, had you re-inforced his goodness and left the word alone, it would have built on his self-esteem.

When you make it about the word instead of him, tells him what he says is more important than what he thinks of himself.
Worse yet, they avoid the word at home and let loose when away from home. Not letting a child do something so simple makes them want to do it more. As soon as parents are out of earshot, they have a grand time testing these things out to the limits.

When my son went to Catholic school, we were shocked at how the kids knew how to 'act' like good kids. That's all they were doing was acting. They were truly more terrible than the kids at the public school. They merely 'acted' for the parents and teachers. The lying was unbelievable!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-30-2009, 09:51 PM
 
756 posts, read 1,947,776 times
Reputation: 621
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hopes View Post
What makes you think today's world requires more hands-on parents than yesterday's world?
Ok, I don't know what you will think of this but I call "todays generation" the MTV generation. I work really hard to make sure my kids are not like this. MTV generation: sense of entitlement, do not want to work, save, wait for things. Grow up way too fast. Drinking, pot, and sex way too prevalent in high school. Much less respect for adults. Dressing too "sexy" for example thongs on teenagers. Need me to go on?

Where are the parents?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-30-2009, 10:23 PM
 
43,012 posts, read 89,161,157 times
Reputation: 30264
Quote:
Originally Posted by flowerpowa2 View Post
Ok, I don't know what you will think of this but I call "todays generation" the MTV generation. I work really hard to make sure my kids are not like this. MTV generation: sense of entitlement, do not want to work, save, wait for things. Grow up way too fast. Drinking, pot, and sex way too prevalent in high school. Much less respect for adults. Dressing too "sexy" for example thongs on teenagers. Need me to go on?

Where are the parents?
I think every generation of parents thought the same thing of the new generation. I'm serious. What on earth do you think parents thought of their hippie children? It's never been easy raising children. I don't think it's more difficult to be a parent these days. The only thing that's more difficult is many families are trying to do it with no parents at home---because too many families are two income households.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-30-2009, 10:31 PM
 
756 posts, read 1,947,776 times
Reputation: 621
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hopes View Post
I think every generation of parents thought the same thing of the new generation. I'm serious. What on earth do you think parents thought of their hippie children? It's never been easy raising children. I don't think it's more difficult to be a parent these days. The only thing that's more difficult is many families are trying to do it with no parents at home---because too many families are two income households.
We are getting so off topic...I think it gets worse each generation. I don't think there is anything positive about our kids growing up so fast, too fast. And I think you hit the nail on the head, too many two income families and not enough parents home. The priority is money and "things". And yes, I realize what the economy is like. I am not talking about the parents that are working to put food on the table. But how many parents are really working just to feed their children? Not many of the people I personally know. They are working for the "luxuries" in life. Which is fine if it doesn't come at the expense of the children.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-30-2009, 10:50 PM
 
43,012 posts, read 89,161,157 times
Reputation: 30264
Quote:
Originally Posted by flowerpowa2 View Post
We are getting so off topic...I think it gets worse each generation. I don't think there is anything positive about our kids growing up so fast, too fast. And I think you hit the nail on the head, too many two income families and not enough parents home. The priority is money and "things". And yes, I realize what the economy is like. I am not talking about the parents that are working to put food on the table. But how many parents are really working just to feed their children? Not many of the people I personally know. They are working for the "luxuries" in life. Which is fine if it doesn't come at the expense of the children.
We've found something we agree on! What was the topic again?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-30-2009, 10:52 PM
 
756 posts, read 1,947,776 times
Reputation: 621
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hopes View Post
We've found something we agree on! What was the topic again?
I don't know but I am off to bed! Good night!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-31-2009, 12:42 AM
 
Location: Victoria TX
42,668 posts, read 71,701,773 times
Reputation: 35899
I once banned the word "I'm sorry". I had a niece, who had so little self esteem, she was constantly saying "I'm sorry", even for the slightest mistake. I told her I was banning the word in my presence, and if she felt she had to say anything, she had to say "I'm better than that". I think it worked, somewhat, but I wasn't around her enough after that to really know.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-31-2009, 05:29 AM
 
467 posts, read 846,046 times
Reputation: 227
I wonder that sometimes, too.

Like why is daRn ok to say, but daMn is bad? Its only one letter and both mean the same thing.

You can throw cousin "Dang" in there too. Its ok to say even though it means the same as damn.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-31-2009, 09:32 AM
 
Location: Loudoun County, VA
1,148 posts, read 3,300,305 times
Reputation: 402
Quote:
Originally Posted by MrMom2 View Post
I wonder that sometimes, too.

Like why is daRn ok to say, but daMn is bad? Its only one letter and both mean the same thing.

You can throw cousin "Dang" in there too. Its ok to say even though it means the same as damn.
Exactly!!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2018, Advameg, Inc.

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top