Teenage drama (BF, teens, girl, daughter)

[skahar]

My DD (15) was put in a very awkward position the other day, by her cousin's BF. Cousin and BF have been dating for about a year and a half and out of the blue he tried to kiss DD. She evaded the kiss and he of course was very embarassed.

My DH and I are at odds over what advice to give her. My feelings were let it go and pretend as if nothing happened. My DH's says she should tell cousin in case he starts feeling guilty and confesses to her what he tried to do, and perhaps tries to put the blame on DD.

Now normally I would advise she tell her just so she knows what her BF has been up to, but cousin is very jealous and I have no doubt that she would be angry at DD for "encouraging" his behavior. She already thinks that she is flirtatious with him, which she is not she is just friendly and happy (opposite of cousin's personality), that is the way she is with everyone. Also I don't think she would break up with him anyway, thus making a lot of trouble for basically nothing.

[maciesmom]

I'm with you. Unless he tried something "more" then I would leave it alone. At this age, all that will happen is that your niece will blame your DD. If it continues or escalates, I would certainly tell her - and good for your DD that she told you. Teenaged drama is the worst.

[wyoquilter]

I agree in not saying anything to the cousin. I had something similar happen to me about that age, only it was my BF's best friend who tried to kiss me. I didn't feel the need to start any waves between them and because I had dealt with it myself when it happened (knee to the groin region) I didn't say anything to my BF about it. Several months later BF and I broke up and his friend confessed to my ex BF what he had tried to do. Ex BF punched friend in the nose and continued to be friends afterwards. The friend knew he had the punch in the nose coming.

Now if it should happen again, your daughter should maybe do something similar (knee to groin region) and tell her cousin what a dinkus/player her BF is.

[stormy night]

If she wants to talk with you about it, ask her what she thinks she should do. Leave it up to her to solve it. If it results in she and her cousin not speaking for awhile, then so be it. Give her the responsibility to solve her own problems and be a sounding board for her instead of the problem solver. She'll be ok.

[dsh1127]

I think I am with you on this one - I had a very similar thing happen to me when I was her age. This couple had been dating for 2 years, and we all hung around the same group of people, but weren't great friends or anything. She was out of town and he just kissed me out of nowhere! He tried again, and I pulled back and gave him "The talk" of how long he had been with his girlfriend and that I knew how much he loved her, and that this would be a bad idea. He actually called me the next day, apologized, and thanked me for not going along with it!

She did end up finding out about it, and she called me, sounding like she was going to come over and kick my a**!She showed up at my house, and I just told her exactly what happened, and what was said, and she ended up staying at my house for an hour crying on my shoulder! They ended up staying together, and me and the girl became pretty good friends!

It is a hard call - to tell on him or not, because sometimes (like it sounds could possibly happen in her case) it backfires on you!

[skahar]

Originally Posted by stormy night

If she wants to talk with you about it, ask her what she thinks she should do. Leave it up to her to solve it. If it results in she and her cousin not speaking for awhile, then so be it. Give her the responsibility to solve her own problems and be a sounding board for her instead of the problem solver. She'll be ok.

She makes her own decisions that's for sure! I've always told her "go with your gut", but she still asks for advice and sometimes that advice changes her gut feeling.

Thanks for the input guys,it probably wouldn't be such a big deal but we are a close family and we see them a couple times a week.

[aidxen]

This is why teens should be closely supervised 24/7

Having said that, I would not tell the other teen because of the jealousy issues my distroy an otherwise good relationship.

[crazyma]

IMHO she might want to chill a little from hanging out with them as a couple too much
...and not ever be around the BF alone, where he might think there is an opportunity for him to be naughty