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Old 06-01-2009, 07:32 PM
 
Location: Western Hoosierland
18,264 posts, read 6,953,297 times
Reputation: 5943

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I'm a teenager I've been to several boy-girl parties but, tomorrow my friend is throwing a huge lavish birthday party for her 18th.It will be a huge pool themed party with lots of food and stuff to do.But to the point she is having a sleepover with boys and girls there.My mom says I can go to the party but not the sleepover.Yeah I'm a bit upset that I wont be sleeping over but I'm not going to dwell on it.I am happy that I atleast get to go!

Well anyways to the question. Would you let your son or daughter attend a boy-girl sleepover? I figured this might be a interesting topic for conversation
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Old 06-01-2009, 07:36 PM
 
43,012 posts, read 89,000,336 times
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When they are younger, it's not a very big deal. Once they're older, it becomes a super huge big deal. Yet, once they're 18, they are adults.
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Old 06-01-2009, 07:38 PM
 
11,614 posts, read 19,720,716 times
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No I would not let my sons attend a boy-girl sleepover as a teenager. I think that the best way to avoid problems is to avoid placing yourself in a position where it is possible to have a problem.

Have fun at the party.
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Old 06-01-2009, 07:41 PM
 
758 posts, read 1,595,390 times
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If my daughter was 18, yes under that... nope. I would have done the same thing, I would have told her I'll pick you up at such and such time.
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Old 06-01-2009, 07:47 PM
 
1,091 posts, read 3,233,860 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gdude View Post
I'm a teenager I've been to several boy-girl parties but, tomorrow my friend is throwing a huge lavish birthday party for her 18th.It will be a huge pool themed party with lots of food and stuff to do.But to the point she is having a sleepover with boys and girls there.My mom says I can go to the party but not the sleepover.Yeah I'm a bit upset that I wont be sleeping over but I'm not going to dwell on it.I am happy that I atleast get to go!

Well anyways to the question. Would you let your son or daughter attend a boy-girl sleepover? I figured this might be a interesting topic for conversation

Well, I wouldn't be able to stop my son... but that's a whole different issue.
I'm not sure I'd prevent him even if I had the power to.
It would depend on a lot of things: will adult chaperones be present?
Is the reason for the "sleepover" that drinking will be involved, and it's a way to prevent teens from leaving the party and driving drunk?
Will there actually be "sleeping", or is it basically just an all-night pool party? What other (planned) activities will there be?

Meh... I've always been a pretty lenient mom when it comes to things like this. I'd probably allow it.
It sounds comparatively safe.
Call me lazy, but it seems to me that if kids aren't already having sex by age 17 or 18, it's not been for lack of opportunity. It's because they have strong moral convictions against casual/premarital sex.
I doubt they're all going to go nutty and start having sex just because it's an overnight party (or if they are, they'll probably do it with or without the party).

I mean, even church youth groups have co-ed sleepovers, "lock-ins", whatever.

I think by this age- late teens- we've got to either start trusting our kids or at least just give up trying to control them.

So, yes. I'd probably agree to the sleepover.
But I might volunteer to bring pizzas by at one in the morning, just to check up and see how things were going.
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Old 06-01-2009, 08:05 PM
 
Location: Australia
1,492 posts, read 2,655,428 times
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OK so I am a very strict parent. Under no circumstances would I allow my teen out on a 1 on 1 date without supervision.

I am OK with group outings and I think that boys and girls should do activities together.

I would be Ok with a co-ed sleepover if I knew that the kids would be sleeping in segregated areas and that there would be adult supervision and that I knew the adults and I know that they will actually supervise. To me this is similar to the kids going on a church camp. Boys and Girls and sleeping. But well supervised and segregated.
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Old 06-01-2009, 08:14 PM
 
Location: Fort Mill, SC
1,105 posts, read 4,097,465 times
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Jane 72 - You made some really, really good points. When I first wrote this I was like no way but then I read your post and then i changed my mind, ya know what, the kids are presumably 17-18 and you are right, it is either in them or not to make the choice not to have sex. A sleepover would not make one iota of a difference.

Under 17 it would be a big NO for me though! I love reading these kind of what ifs. My son is only 7 and the teenage years scare the heck out of me if I start to think about them too much!
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Old 06-01-2009, 08:36 PM
 
Location: Western Hoosierland
18,264 posts, read 6,953,297 times
Reputation: 5943
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jane72 View Post
Well, I wouldn't be able to stop my son... but that's a whole different issue.
I'm not sure I'd prevent him even if I had the power to.
It would depend on a lot of things: will adult chaperones be present?
Is the reason for the "sleepover" that drinking will be involved, and it's a way to prevent teens from leaving the party and driving drunk?
Will there actually be "sleeping", or is it basically just an all-night pool party? What other (planned) activities will there be?

Meh... I've always been a pretty lenient mom when it comes to things like this. I'd probably allow it.
It sounds comparatively safe.
Call me lazy, but it seems to me that if kids aren't already having sex by age 17 or 18, it's not been for lack of opportunity. It's because they have strong moral convictions against casual/premarital sex.
I doubt they're all going to go nutty and start having sex just because it's an overnight party (or if they are, they'll probably do it with or without the party).

I mean, even church youth groups have co-ed sleepovers, "lock-ins", whatever.

I think by this age- late teens- we've got to either start trusting our kids or at least just give up trying to control them.

So, yes. I'd probably agree to the sleepover.
But I might volunteer to bring pizzas by at one in the morning, just to check up and see how things were going.

Chaperones will be there. From what I've been told its you crash where you land. So it's not really segregated. No Alcohol will be present at the party.

From what I know: Swimming,Gossiping,Barbequing,Water Guns, Air Soft/Paintball Tournament, Roasting Marshmallows....etc
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Old 06-01-2009, 08:44 PM
 
Location: Mid-Atlantic
1,820 posts, read 3,899,868 times
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I would have to say no. I would agree that my child would be able to attend the party,but if she is still in high school,then absolutely no sleepovers with boys... and it would be vice versa if I had a son... no sleepovers with girls.
Once they are in college, we can only hope they respect themselves and what they have been brought up to "do" and make what we consider to be sound minded,morally correct (in our home) decisions.
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Old 06-01-2009, 08:47 PM
 
3,071 posts, read 7,570,999 times
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If there were chaperones, sure. Especially at 17/18. I f you can't trust how u raised your kid by then, how are you going to trust them when they are on their own in a matter of months?

Plus, IME, the "kids" who have the most problems own their own, are the ones who were never allowed to do anything or came from strict/shelter homes. they have no experience dealing w/ "freedom"
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