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Old 06-05-2009, 08:01 AM
 
821 posts, read 1,758,601 times
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I do agree that as parents we are selfish probably on more than one point but smoking is beyond selfish you know that it is potentally harming your children and you still think its all about you and that cigarette. I think its pretty sad that people still think its ok to to smoke around thier kids...
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Old 06-05-2009, 12:21 PM
ttz
 
Location: Western WA
679 posts, read 1,462,197 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wyoquilter View Post
I'm confused too. My great aunt who smoked for well over 60 years (and she smoked like a chimney) didn't die from anything related to her smoking. She died of heart problems that was related to a heart murmer and she was in her 80's when she died. None of her children or grandchildren have any long lasting health issues stemming from her smoking either and they lived in that smoke for many, many years.
Not everyone will die because of smoking, but sadly the majority will in one way or another, die or suffer from it.

Quote:
My grandfather was a heavy smoker too. He died from pancreatic cancer, which had nothing to do with his smoking.
You are mistaken. Pancreatic cancer has been linked to smoking. Look what Patrick Swayze has been going through. Not saying that if you don't smoke you won't get it, but the reality is all the organs are affected by the smoke and toxins.


Quote:
Not everyone who smokes or is around smoke is going to die from health issues stemming from smoking. I've known several people who were well into their 90's and smoked all of the time that died because of old age, not because of their smoking.
I agree, but they are the exception, not the rule! It is proven that smoking destroys lung tissue, so if there is not cancer, the lung tissue will rot away as it gets saturated by tar and smoke diminishing lung function. That alone is reason NOT to smoke!

Quote:
It really disturbs me, when people swear up and down that second hand smoke is going to kill them. How on God's green earth can that be proven when there are so many other things floating in our air that can cause health issues? People can just as easily get lung cancer from all of the asbestos that is floating around. They can get emphazema just from getting a few cases of pneumonia. They can develop bronchitis from all of the dust in the air. Heck our own walls and furniture in our homes put off toxins that can be deadly or cause health problems. The chemicals we use to clean our homes can do the same thing.
The fact of the matter is, people who do not smoke do it for a reason, why should we increase the chance of anything because you choose to smoke and kill yourself? True we can breathe in C02 from cars, chimneys and asbestos and can get lung diseases, but why should we be ok with breathing in your second hand smoke and increasing OUR chances of diseases? The less the better right? That's why smoking in public is being banned around the world.


Quote:
If nobody smoked, people would still be dying of lung cancer, emphazema, asthma, broncitis and any other health issues that people blame on smoking. So who and what would be blamed if there were no longer smokers around to blame? Smokers are just the easiest scapegoats to pin health problems on.
Actually you are mistaken here too. There is documented evidence that Lung Cancer was MUCH less before the Industrial Revolution when burning coal and smoking cigs became common. How do you explain that?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lung_cancer

Look at the History section.

Joel's Library - Smoking's Impact on the Lungs

Last edited by ttz; 06-05-2009 at 12:44 PM..
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Old 06-05-2009, 12:40 PM
ttz
 
Location: Western WA
679 posts, read 1,462,197 times
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@ OP

I feel your pain. But you have to realize you have done all you can do. As you have gathered Nicotine is extremely addictive (4.5 times that of Heroine!) And your mom is an addict. Her mind is not allowing her to make the right choice. Unfortunately like others have said, she has to do this on her own. I do think that you guys are doing the right thing and it is making her think about it and maybe she will try soon. But there is nothing you can do. I think your sister needs to make a good example for your mother right now by quitting themselves! Until something clicks in her head she will not try. But I think if she saw your sister quit that may get her to consider it more. I would encourage her to visit whyquit.com for some reading if she cares to. But they usually don't.

Here is a good article for you to read:

The nightmare of loving a smoker who fails to quit

Another option for her maybe to try is the e-cigarette. It allows a smoker that does not want to quit a way to smoke Nicotine without actually smoking tobacco. Look into it. But word is the FDA is trying to ban it.

smartfixx.com

Good luck and I hope your mom is able to quit soon!
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Old 06-05-2009, 03:21 PM
 
Location: El Paso, TX
3,302 posts, read 3,758,039 times
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How many times your parents have asked you something they considered for your own good and you refused?

Now, you want parents to act in a way YOU think is for their own good and since they do not go along your wishes they are selfish.

If your child or your parent tells you you eat too much and your are fat, will you start dieting. Be honest, based in what I see around Hometown USA, I see a lot of walking very young whales out there. So smoking is not the only health issue here.

Has anyone ever tell you you drink too much? If so, what did you respond?

I ask to do what my grandmother told me when I was young and was pointing the finger at others:
When you point the finger at others, watch your own hand and notice three of your own fingers are pointing back at you.

So if you think your parents are not doing something not so healthy, are you living a complete healthy life? If not, why are they selfish and you are not?

You have a great day.
El Amigo
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Old 06-05-2009, 04:05 PM
ttz
 
Location: Western WA
679 posts, read 1,462,197 times
Reputation: 421
Quote:
Originally Posted by elamigo View Post
So if you think your parents are not doing something not so healthy, are you living a complete healthy life? If not, why are they selfish and you are not?

You have a great day.
El Amigo
Let me guess, you must smoke.

Look, you pretty much can't compare ANYTHING healthwise to smoking packs of cigs every day. I could eat 3 Whoppers a day and it would be better for me than smoking a packs of smokes a day...
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Old 06-05-2009, 04:28 PM
 
Location: El Paso, TX
3,302 posts, read 3,758,039 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ttz View Post
Let me guess, you must smoke.

Look, you pretty much can't compare ANYTHING healthwise to smoking packs of cigs every day. I could eat 3 Whoppers a day and it would be better for me than smoking a packs of smokes a day...
Wrong. I have never smoked, do not drink thus do not even know yet what it means to have a hangover. Actually people have made bets to see who was the first one to get me to drink and get me drunk. None have succeeded to this day.

Regardless of how unhealthy overeating as compared to smoking does not mean both are unhealthy habits. You missed or ignored the point, I do not know. The point is to demand a parent not smoke because it is unhealthy and not admit you may fill your arteries with so much fatty stuff that will lead to heart attacks and/or strokes.

There are some very "healthy" whales out there that do not smoke munching all day long from candy to the whoppers too yet, there are also some smokers that are pretty healthy by running and doing exercise and eating very healthy food.
I have been in the Army 31 years now. I have seen many Soldiers that smoke but because they must maintain certain weight standards and pass Physical Test often they are much more healthy than many of their fat spouses even their teenage sons and daughters.
Care to compare them to those nonsmoking whales out there? Care to check the latest results on children that do not smoke already with diabetes and other health problems because of the diet their parents providing them?

You have a great day.
El Amigo
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Old 06-05-2009, 04:48 PM
 
Location: El Paso, TX
3,302 posts, read 3,758,039 times
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BTW,
You believe in respecting gray hair and parents. If I as a child did not allow them to tell me what to do once I became an adult, I have no reason to demand on them things I may feel are for their own good. They have lived a long life and have earned the respect to not allow people to tell them what to do.

Not long ago one of my daughters did try to tell me about me eating a little too much one day. She tried to tell me I should feel bad because she may later have children and I may not be around for them. I told her she should respect how I live my life and I was still going to finish eating those delicious mexican flautas. I also said I raised her with love and respect and I expect to at least give me that respect.
I also reminded her that despite she is only 29 and I am 56 she is not as healthy as I am because I am still healthy enough to meet the Army standards weightwise and can still run, do push-ups and sit-ups at this age.
You have a great day.
El Amigo
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Old 06-05-2009, 08:24 PM
 
Location: Tucson/Nogales
16,491 posts, read 20,032,558 times
Reputation: 22435
[quote=haggardhouseelf;9139013

Our upstairs neighbors just burned down their apartment with a cigarette that they did not exstinguish properly. Our whole building had to be evacuated. We had renter's insurance to help us, but most did not. Most of us had pets as well, and some of us had children.

Would you say these smoker's were selfish? They are certainly not very smart... and certainly very inconsiderate![/QUOTE]

And how many grease fires by careless people have driven people out of their apartment buildings in the middle of the night?
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Old 06-05-2009, 08:56 PM
 
224 posts, read 593,499 times
Reputation: 180
Default contradictions perhaps?

Quote:
Originally Posted by hypocore View Post
I think there are many facets to smoking. My parents were heavy duty smokers who both died fairly young. My dad died 33 years ago, at age 44, from heart/blood problems and my mom died 21 years ago, at 56 from lung cancer. For them smoking was the normal way of life around here and there was not really a stigma attached like there is today. To them smoking was just one choice in their life, not a controlling issue. My two youngest kids never met either of them and only my oldest has any memories of my mom. Do I consider that selfish of them? Not really since times then were different than they are today. If by some chance they were still alive today and were still smoking, I'd still probably feel the same way....that's just their life for them.

However, for those of the next generation where the understanding of what smoking really does to you, I think it's now a different scenario.

I think it can be both selfish and addictive in today's world. Much more of a choice than a way of life.

If they began smoking when it was a way of life still, then I wouldn't say it was selfish. If they began smoking when things were clear about the effects and they still choose to smoke, then yeah it could be selfish.

I've never smoked or had any desire to try to due to my parents heavy smoking.
I'm confused.
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Old 06-05-2009, 09:26 PM
 
Location: chicagoland
1,636 posts, read 3,657,201 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by suemandy23 View Post
I'm confused.

I think it makes perfect sense.
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