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Old 06-02-2009, 06:08 PM
 
61 posts, read 152,471 times
Reputation: 36

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Way before my SO & I started trying for a baby, we called "famous" TV psychics, the ones that specialize in solving TV crimes etc.

They ALL said we'd have 2 baby boys. So for three yrs, we had it in our minds we'd have baby boys.

Fast forward, 3yrs later we find out its a girl!

My SO is is okay with whatever, if the child is healthy. On the other hand, I have been collecting boy stuff for 3yrs & I'm crushed that its a girl as I'd prepared myself for a boy.

How do I "unprepare" myself? Also, my insecurities of having a girl stem from the fact that I had a toxic relationship with my mom & I'm afraid I'd be toxic to a boy not a girl.

I feel embarassed discussing this issue with "real life" people.

Do I need therapy to mentally accept a baby girl or will this happen on its own? If so, how long should that process take & how do I prepare for it?

Please do not spend your $$ on those TV psychics. Now I know its supposed to be for "entertainment" only but heck, it costs $300/hr to speak to them plus phone bill. So find better ways to entertain yourself.

So
1) To those parents who prepared themselves for a boy & got a girl...how did u get over it? ( And vice-versa)

Last edited by jeannie216; 06-03-2009 at 05:36 AM.. Reason: This is a PG Parenting thread
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Old 06-02-2009, 06:10 PM
 
Location: Denver area
21,149 posts, read 22,147,144 times
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How about looking at this as an opportunity presented to you to have another, better chance at the mother-daughter relationship? Faith/Karma whatever works in mysterious ways. Take it as a blessing. We'll just ignore the last comment...kay?
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Old 06-02-2009, 06:26 PM
 
8,938 posts, read 15,873,869 times
Reputation: 6659
=====================

now, if you are being serious in your post, yes - please get help

focus on why you felt the need to use a TV psychic and run up such a large bill with them and plan 3 years of your life based up their advice

also, please buy/borrow/loan from a library some books on fetal development, parenting,

finally, i take it you are not your mother - you, as an adult, control your own actions and your own relationships ..... get educated on parenting topics and provide a loving, nurturing healthy home to your child - regardless of the environment you grew up and the relationship you may still have with your own mother

Last edited by jeannie216; 06-03-2009 at 05:37 AM..
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Old 06-02-2009, 07:13 PM
 
Location: Johns Island, SC
797 posts, read 2,697,705 times
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IMO you could benefit from therapy

This baby is a gift and should not be punished or robbed of the delight of her existance just becuase she is not the little boy you desire.

You can not see the future just like the psychics could not, having already admitted that your relationship with your mother was not healthy gives you the power to do things differently with your daughter.

It is always possible that the doctors can misread a scan, you will only know for sure when the baby is born.

Last edited by noplacelikeWA; 06-02-2009 at 07:16 PM.. Reason: misunderstood OP's original post
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Old 06-02-2009, 07:16 PM
 
Location: Beautiful Upstate NY!
13,819 posts, read 24,574,832 times
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IMO, therapy could be helpful in this situation. Just don't be using Dr. Phil, or any other TV therapist.
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Old 06-02-2009, 07:29 PM
 
2,005 posts, read 5,127,426 times
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Eh.... don't think too much about it. When we found out our 2nd was a boy, the whole family was disappointed, meaning me, my husband, and my daughter. We all wanted another girl. But y'know, I couldn't be happier and he is the love of all our lives. You have a few months to get used to the idea and believe me, once the shock of childbirth wears off, you will be in love with her and it will just feel right. Trust me.
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Old 06-02-2009, 07:32 PM
 
2,466 posts, read 4,206,054 times
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That is but one reason why I never wanted to find out the sex of any of my children. First because I couldn't change the sex of the baby if it wasn't what I was hoping to have. I would have liked to have had another boy, but it didn't happen and I still love my girls just as much. Keeping the sex of the baby a surprise, for me made me more able to be happy with whatever God wanted us to have. Second, it's not a 100% gaurantee that the baby is the sex you are told it is and if you go out preparing for one sex and it turns out to be the other, then you have spent a lot of money and time buying stuff you cannot use. There is nothing wrong with a newborn wearing unisex colors and having unisexed toys and wall colors for them at first.

When having my kids my biggest wish for them was to be healthy, happy and normal it really didn't matter whether they were a boy or a girl.

If you are really having problems accepting the fact that you are having a girl and not a boy, then maybe it would be wise to talk to someone about it, just don't talk to someone off of t.v. or radio.

I would in the meantime go through all of the stuff you have bought over the last three years and find things that will work for a little girl. Girls can wear blue too.
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Old 06-02-2009, 07:45 PM
 
Location: Right where I want to be.
4,507 posts, read 7,833,194 times
Reputation: 3304
Given some of your other posts and threads here I say go for the therapy...it certainly won't hurt. I hope you come to see your baby as a blessing and not 'you were supposed to be a boy'.

Oh, and see if you can get a refund from that psychic.
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Old 06-02-2009, 08:48 PM
 
43,012 posts, read 89,100,171 times
Reputation: 30261
I agree with the others; therapy can only help.

It's not so much your being upset about the sex of the baby. Many people find themselves apprehensive when they find out the baby is a different sex than they expected. I personally was hoping for a girl---only because I came from a family of girls and I thought I wouldn't know how to raise a boy. But I loved him immediately and discovered that I do know how to raise a boy.

The main problem is you seem to have some difficulty grasping reality. By that, I mean that very few people would put so much weight in what a psychic says---especially to the point of buying boy close for THREE YEARS prior to getting pregnant. And believing your girlfriend about racial penis size is another indication that you really need help distinguishing truths.

It may not seem like it, but I am being sensitive. Sometimes honesty seems insensitive but that's not my intention.
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Old 06-02-2009, 09:31 PM
 
16,487 posts, read 20,364,709 times
Reputation: 16136
It is possible the sonogram is wrong, but don't count on that.

My first child was a boy and we really wanted a girl the second time around. My husband and myself were convinced it was a girl. I set up the whole room in pink and bought girl things and had pink diapers etc. I had an ultrasound to try to find out the sex but the baby was all curled up and would not show us. Well you can guess...it was a boy. At first I have to admit I was disappointed and surprised, but I got over it pretty quick. My first son was blue eyed, blonde hair and this baby had black hair and brown eyes and was a little sweetheart. I just thought how blessed I was to have another baby and it didn't matter. That baby will be graduating from high school this Saturday and I could not be more proud of him or love him anymore than I do.
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