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Old 08-06-2009, 08:34 PM
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Have you tried to teach your son how to be angry? I know that it sounds weird. But my DSS is ASD. He rarely has meltdowns anymore and when he is upset, we can rationalize him through. We taught DSS that it is okay to be angry, but not okay to beat his head against the wall. We helped him find words to express his frustrations. We also worked with him that just because he does something one way (canine v/s dog) that others can do it differently and still be right. Board games have helped immensely with these things. It teaches patience and that there is more than one way to win.... or loose. When he's melt down we'd talk about it afterwards.... to explain to him what had happened... he's have blocks of the memories that were gone. He is now able to recognize when he is getting ansy and he'll tell us that he needs DSS time. That is either time alone or time with us to calm down or talk it through. I think fear is a big trigger. In DSS's case, he becomes fearful if he doesn't understand the logical sequence of events. When we explain to him (in baby steps sometimes) how/why things happen, he is more likely to troop through it next time.
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Old 08-06-2009, 09:48 PM
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My son started acting out at the age of 8 1/2 - violence toward his sister, impatience with the cats, talking back. Not really major, but noticeable because of his mild nature. The doctor, my friends, in laws... everyone said it was hormones and perfectly normal, same with the sudden bruises... klutziness is common in kids this age, they would tell me.

Then the last day of school before Christmas break, he finally told me about the bullying he'd been subjected to. I pulled him out of school and began homeschooling him and the behavior went away.
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Old 08-06-2009, 11:24 PM
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I think it's a good idea to look at what is causing this kind of behavior. These kids don't have the emotional maturity or wiring that other kids their age have, maybe as a way to keep from being overwhelmed, he believes he has to control what he can.

When they shut down, forget punishment because they're not reacheable. Or when he insists on one word over the other, change the subject and tell him you love him whichever word he uses. Or - what happens if you go along with his choice of words? If he's only 8, make a game out of it, say canine and dog.
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