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Old 06-03-2009, 06:45 AM
 
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How do you as parents handle tantrums and violent outburst of kids 8-11 years old?

Need some input as all my ideas and reactions are fighting the urge to get overly physical (although some minor physical is required or he's gonna hurt someone/something).

Thanks.
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Old 06-03-2009, 07:39 AM
 
Location: Right where I want to be.
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Is this a new behavior?

We didn't have any tantrum or outbursts at that age because we started managing that kind of behavior when they first started at age 2-3.

I'm not really sure what to advise this late in the game. The same strategies we used when the kids were little probably wouldn't apply. I'd look for common triggers and address those issues in a calm time. Set clear expectations for behavior and consequences for when those expectations are met as well as when they are not. Be consistent. Expect things to get worse before they get better. Good luck!!
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Old 06-03-2009, 07:49 AM
 
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It didn't start until just over a year ago when he was 8 and it was localized at school mostly, which made us have doubts about it really happening. Its gotten steadily worse as time goes on. Its directly related to his Anger Mgt and Anxiety issues and PDD-NOS (like Aspergers).

He was a pretty happy little guy otherwise and never got mad except when he was tiny and the bottle ran dry.

I know the military and getting jobs can straighten out teens, but my son is still pretty young.
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Old 06-03-2009, 08:01 AM
 
Location: Denver area
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Its directly related to his Anger Mgt and Anxiety issues and PDD-NOS (like Aspergers).
If this is the case, then I would think you might get more helpful answers in the Special Needs subforum or do you have a support group that you are part of?
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Old 06-03-2009, 08:09 AM
 
Location: Right where I want to be.
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Is he working with a counselor, therapist or MD to manage his "Anger Mgt and Anxiety issues and PDD-NOS"? I'd think they would be a much better source of information, or as PP suggested, try the special needs forum. I'd be concerned that any advice you receive here would be out of context for your specific situation.
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Old 06-03-2009, 08:15 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by maciesmom View Post
If this is the case, then I would think you might get more helpful answers in the Special Needs subforum or do you have a support group that you are part of?
Quote:
Originally Posted by NCyank View Post
Is he working with a counselor, therapist or MD to manage his "Anger Mgt and Anxiety issues and PDD-NOS"? I'd think they would be a much better source of information, or as PP suggested, try the special needs forum. I'd be concerned that any advice you receive here would be out of context for your specific situation.
He is going to therapy for that. Its just gonna take awhile for him to be able to cope with his inner struggle, possibly years.

The Sp Needs Forum: The same people that talk there also talk here and that forum is famous for its slowness As long as I'm clear about his problem, there shouldn't be too much conflict in help.

I'm asking here on the internet because I'm that desperate. We're trying every resource we have and as I don't have any social network of my own, I'm asking people here in case someone has a seed of wisdom out there that I would not have otherwise ever known about. Worth a shot.

Thanks
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Old 06-03-2009, 08:18 AM
 
Location: Denver area
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Makes sense - just your OP wasn't clear on the situation. Best of luck.
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Old 06-03-2009, 08:35 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MrMom2 View Post
It didn't start until just over a year ago when he was 8 and it was localized at school mostly, which made us have doubts about it really happening. Its gotten steadily worse as time goes on. Its directly related to his Anger Mgt and Anxiety issues and PDD-NOS (like Aspergers).

He was a pretty happy little guy otherwise and never got mad except when he was tiny and the bottle ran dry.

I know the military and getting jobs can straighten out teens, but my son is still pretty young.

Sorry I don't have any advice, but I was wondering do those kind of things (PDD-NOS) just appear that late in childhood? I thought that was something they were born with and became apparent around 18 mos or so. I have no experience with it though that's why I'm asking.
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Old 06-03-2009, 08:44 AM
 
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Originally Posted by skahar View Post
Sorry I don't have any advice, but I was wondering do those kind of things (PDD-NOS) just appear that late in childhood? I thought that was something they were born with and became apparent around 18 mos or so. I have no experience with it though that's why I'm asking.
No, its actually part of the Autism spectrum, along with ADHD and Aspergers. PDD-NOS is considered as an "undefined form of Autism" that is almost Aspergers but his IQ is too high, and its almost Autism but his speech/language patterns are not quite right for that.

You are born with it, but it may not be noticed until after 4-5 yrs old as some of the childhood sillies can mask the symptoms and you can't be sure until they outgrow some of that other behavior that pre-school year kids do. He got along fine back in those days with peers.

My son was diagnosed at 5 with ADHD. It was mostly just talkative, inattentiveness and jittery back then, but it progressed into acting out and then physical acting out against inanimate objects to flat out screaming violent acts against people and throwing objects as each school year passed. To this point where the school deems him a safety risk and must stay home for a visiting teacher 3x a week. sux.

In answer to you, it didn't get over the top bad until he was 8, prior to that it was just normal ADHD type stuff you hear about (trouble paying attention, staying still and talk alot).
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Old 06-03-2009, 08:52 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MrMom2 View Post
No, its actually part of the Autism spectrum, along with ADHD and Aspergers. PDD-NOS is considered as an "undefined form of Autism" that is almost Aspergers but his IQ is too high, and its almost Autism but his speech/language patterns are not quite right for that.

You are born with it, but it may not be noticed until after 4-5 yrs old as some of the childhood sillies can mask the symptoms and you can't be sure until they outgrow some of that other behavior that pre-school year kids do. He got along fine back in those days with peers.

My son was diagnosed at 5 with ADHD. It was mostly just talkative, inattentiveness and jittery back then, but it progressed into acting out and then physical acting out against inanimate objects to flat out screaming violent acts against people and throwing objects as each school year passed. To this point where the school deems him a safety risk and must stay home for a visiting teacher 3x a week. sux.
I have a little better understanding now. It must be very hard and saddening to deal with. Best of luck to you and I hope for brighter days in your future.
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