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Old 06-05-2009, 07:17 PM
 
Location: Camberville
11,395 posts, read 15,995,267 times
Reputation: 18035

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To everyone inferring that these two kids should get "full time employment", might I ask where? I'm home for the summer and there is absolutely NOTHING out there for a student who might only be around for 2 or 3 months before going off to college. It was all I could do to get a volunteer position a few times a week- most places near me only have once every 3 month orientations that I missed and if they don't, they have an influx of high school and college students trying to hide their unemployment on their resumes.

If I could get a full time job... or even a part time one... I certainly would. My brother has been home a full month longer than I have and has probably applied to 60 places- just about everywhere in a 5 mile radius (about as far as either of us can do since my family of 4 will be sharing 2 cars). Not happening. The college students in my town who have summer jobs either have connections or live close enough to home to have interviewed for the positions back in March.

On the list- while it's easy to say that someone SHOULD know what to do, I'm only home 3 months out of the year and my living situation at school is quite different. I live in a university owned apartment with 6 people sharing about 1500 square feet of living space. At home, it's 4 people with 4000 square feet. Many of the things that need to be attended to at home I wouldn't even think of at school- such as the amount of times a week that the carpet should be vacuumed, sweeping the floor a few times a day because of dog hair, scrubbing the moldings, etc etc. Laundry is also different because when at school, I maybe use one towel a week to cut down on laundry costs. At home, after every shower my family uses a new towel. I simply don't think about doing a towel load in the wash because that's not how I normally conduct my life. These other types of chores aren't things I would normally think about because I don't normally have to deal with them. I assume many other college students are the same (particularly those in single dorm rooms where they don't really have much maintenance at all!). A list makes expectations completely clear with no real room for error.
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Old 06-05-2009, 09:10 PM
 
47,576 posts, read 58,699,632 times
Reputation: 22158
Quote:
Originally Posted by elamigo View Post
Somebody said at that age they probably were allowed to do whatever they want all their lives. I agree, most likely it is too late now to start demanding they do something. The missed the training and upbringing they should have received. They were not setup for success in this area.

That being said, the thing to do is start making them responsible adults cold, just like that. The question is, if they refuse, what are you going to do? If you are not willing to stand your ground, might as well not try anything and let them do what they have doing before, do what they want.

You have a great day.
El Amigo
I agree -- if by age 17 to 19, they haven't learned to do any chores, it's too late to start and will only lead to them ignoring you, or you'll waste more energy nagging and harping, or shouting and getting frustrated.

I think at the very least, the parents should not be cooking them meals, buying them food to eat up -- although meals with the family are fine. Let them do their own laundry, buy and maintain their own cars, don't pay for gas or meals out.

Or -- you can still help them out with school and books IF and ONLY IF, they cooperate around the house, otherwise it might to time to start cutting them off that too. If adult kids are working only 2 or 3 days a week, one way to inspire them is to not subsidized that by giving them money or buying things they want.
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Old 06-05-2009, 09:35 PM
 
396 posts, read 906,189 times
Reputation: 284
Quote:
Originally Posted by charolastra00 View Post
To everyone inferring that these two kids should get "full time employment", might I ask where? I'm home for the summer and there is absolutely NOTHING out there for a student who might only be around for 2 or 3 months before going off to college. It was all I could do to get a volunteer position a few times a week- most places near me only have once every 3 month orientations that I missed and if they don't, they have an influx of high school and college students trying to hide their unemployment on their resumes.

If I could get a full time job... or even a part time one... I certainly would. My brother has been home a full month longer than I have and has probably applied to 60 places- just about everywhere in a 5 mile radius (about as far as either of us can do since my family of 4 will be sharing 2 cars). Not happening. The college students in my town who have summer jobs either have connections or live close enough to home to have interviewed for the positions back in March.

On the list- while it's easy to say that someone SHOULD know what to do, I'm only home 3 months out of the year and my living situation at school is quite different. I live in a university owned apartment with 6 people sharing about 1500 square feet of living space. At home, it's 4 people with 4000 square feet. Many of the things that need to be attended to at home I wouldn't even think of at school- such as the amount of times a week that the carpet should be vacuumed, sweeping the floor a few times a day because of dog hair, scrubbing the moldings, etc etc. Laundry is also different because when at school, I maybe use one towel a week to cut down on laundry costs. At home, after every shower my family uses a new towel. I simply don't think about doing a towel load in the wash because that's not how I normally conduct my life. These other types of chores aren't things I would normally think about because I don't normally have to deal with them. I assume many other college students are the same (particularly those in single dorm rooms where they don't really have much maintenance at all!). A list makes expectations completely clear with no real room for error.
Let me guess, you are going for a degree in Law? Because if you are not, you are missing your calling.
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Old 06-06-2009, 07:39 AM
 
Location: N of citrus, S of decent corn
34,544 posts, read 42,708,506 times
Reputation: 57199
I think you're asking this a little late.
They should be cutting the grass, taking out the trash and keeping their own room clean.
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Old 06-06-2009, 09:15 AM
 
20,793 posts, read 52,363,417 times
Reputation: 10471
For the past many years my kids have been expected to do a bulk of the housework in the summer, some of it they get paid to do and the rest they do because they live her and have nothing else to do. This summer DS16 will be expected to do the majority of the house stuff, cooking, cleaning and carpooling unless he can find a job. He is knows how to do this and this will be his "job" this summer. The other two will continue to do their fair share but DS16 will be expected to do more. It is our solution to a bad teen job market and a kid that will be a senior in high school and needs to take on more responsibility.
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Old 06-06-2009, 10:45 PM
 
Location: Monroe, Louisiana
887 posts, read 2,613,023 times
Reputation: 529
Give them the option to pay for a maid. I bet they'll try to work more hours!

I hated doing house work at the age..and went for the above option. Its the last thing you want to do at that age.
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Old 06-06-2009, 10:56 PM
 
Location: Orlando, Florida
43,858 posts, read 43,564,164 times
Reputation: 58603
My 17 year old and 19 year old are financially worthless.
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Old 06-07-2009, 04:43 PM
 
Location: El Paso, TX
3,302 posts, read 3,755,085 times
Reputation: 2524
Quote:
Originally Posted by GloryB View Post
My 17 year old and 19 year old are financially worthless.
The 19 year old still lives with you? If he/she is, then maybe having him/her move out of the house may be a good lesson for him/her.

You have a great day.
El Amigo
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