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Old 06-05-2009, 09:09 AM
 
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Question: My kid is 8 and the neighbors kids are all around the same age 7-10 boys and girls - we have a park around the corner from our house we live in a little community and all of the streets in our area do not have sidewalks where the kids could ride thier bikes so they all ride in the streets - I currently let my daughter ride her bike up and down the block where I can visually keep an eye on her while all of the other kids in the neighborhood are allowed to go to the park and any other street in the nieghborhood they want.

Am I being over protective with my kid
or are
the other parents being too laid back with thier kids.
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Old 06-05-2009, 09:16 AM
 
Location: Denver 'burbs
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I guess you know your neighborhood more than we do.....If you live in what I would call a "normal" neighborhood, I would think an 8 yo. in a group, should be able to leave your sight...Go through safety rules with her before hand and the first few times, if it makes you feel more comfortable, after 1/2 hour or so, take a little walk. If you have a reason for keeping her within your sight all the time that's one thing. If it is just "because" - then you might want to rethink it. You don't want your DD to grow up afraid of everything - at some point they do have to grow up.....good luck, I know it's hard.
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Old 06-05-2009, 09:33 AM
 
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When my children are 8 there is NO WAY they are going anywhere out of my sight.
It is NOT that kind of world anymore. You aren't being overprotective. You are being safe.
I'd rather be safe then sorry god forbid anything happen.
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Old 06-05-2009, 10:11 AM
 
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I do let my kids (10 & 7) ride to the park and play with friends, as long as they are together and it's for a limited time. They also ride to school about a mile away everyday, and I feel safe allowing them to do so as many neighborhood children walk to school, a Deputy Sheriff routinely sits an an intersection about half-way there, and the school employs crossing guards.

My 10-year-old is allowed to ride by herself to her friends' houses as long as she is expected and calls me as soon as she gets there. She also goes with her friends to our community pool. I do not think that my son is yet capable of that kind of freedom, so I always accompany him.

I think children need freedom that is appropriate for their ages and levels of responsibility. If you do not feel that your neighborhood is safe for your child to explore alone, or that your child is capable of behaving responsibly out of your presence, then you are not being over-protective. You are being cautious.
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Old 06-05-2009, 11:03 AM
 
Location: Niles, Michigan
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I don't have a 8 year old but I do have 7 kids. For all of them I was very hesitate to leave them go that far. I have 4 still at home and two are 6 and 7 . I let them only ride their bikes right in front of the house. We live at the end of a court , no sidewalks. Life isn't the same for children as it was. When I was growing up I would ride my bike all over. No more. Children come up missing all the time.. Sex predators are all over and don't have to live in your neighbor as they watch places like playground. How many children have to go missing and be found dead somewhere before we get we are living in different times. I know kids need to be outside and move too many sit in front of a TV screen but I 'm not big on parks anymore. I would rather have my child where I can see them or have them at a friends home whose parents are watching and if they do go on a bike ride have it be from your home to a friends where they call when they get there and when they are ready to leave.
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Old 06-05-2009, 11:22 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by michiganmom48 View Post
Children come up missing all the time....How many children have to go missing and be found dead somewhere before we get we are living in different times.
I think this is a gross generalization and fear-mongering. Every neighborhood across the country is not full of predators and child abusers. I can't speak for where you live, but in my little section of the world, the crime rate against children is minuscule and children do not go missing all the time, despite their unaccompanied trips to the park.
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Old 06-05-2009, 11:27 AM
 
Location: Austin, TX
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Quote:
Originally Posted by maciesmom View Post
I guess you know your neighborhood more than we do.....If you live in what I would call a "normal" neighborhood, I would think an 8 yo. in a group, should be able to leave your sight...Go through safety rules with her before hand and the first few times, if it makes you feel more comfortable, after 1/2 hour or so, take a little walk. If you have a reason for keeping her within your sight all the time that's one thing. If it is just "because" - then you might want to rethink it. You don't want your DD to grow up afraid of everything - at some point they do have to grow up.....good luck, I know it's hard.
.
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Old 06-05-2009, 01:25 PM
 
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We start letting go of our children from the time they are born.

Step 1: We allow family and close friends to hold our newborns or infants.

Step 2: When they begin to walk, we allow them to explore their small world and outer boundaries.

Step 3: We encourage them to make friends and send them to school.

Step 4: We encourage them to be independent without us as they grow into their community on their own.

Step 5: We allow sleepovers, camping trips, summer camp.

Step 6: We allow them to drive and go beyond our own comfort zone into their own.

Step 7: We send them off to college.

Step 8: We watch them develope relationships that we have nothing to do with and know nothing about.

Step 9: We sit in the front row as they get married.

Step 10:We accept the way they live their lives and raise their own children.

Raising children is a process of letting go. At some point in a child's life, it is to the child's best interest for us to trust our guidance and allow them to fly on their own.

Kids deserve our confidence. They deserve to know they are capable of being out of the sight of a parent and still be ok. They deserve to know they are trusted to utilize the survival tools they are taught so painstakingly by parents.

They deserve to grow up unhindered by over-restriction.
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Old 06-05-2009, 03:53 PM
 
841 posts, read 4,828,048 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by maciesmom View Post
I guess you know your neighborhood more than we do.....If you live in what I would call a "normal" neighborhood, I would think an 8 yo. in a group, should be able to leave your sight...Go through safety rules with her before hand and the first few times, if it makes you feel more comfortable, after 1/2 hour or so, take a little walk. If you have a reason for keeping her within your sight all the time that's one thing. If it is just "because" - then you might want to rethink it. You don't want your DD to grow up afraid of everything - at some point they do have to grow up.....good luck, I know it's hard.
I agree with this. This is a reasonable approach to your situation. It really depends on your neighborhood, the park, and the family's comfort level in broadening her independence. I think 8 years old is old enough to ride a few blocks away to a park with friends.
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Old 06-05-2009, 03:54 PM
 
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NOT ALLOWING an 8 YEAR OLD to ride her bike out of your sight is not an issue of trust of that child. A child is just that a CHILD and cannot defend themselves if anything were to happen (abduction or sexual assault by an adult) It has to do with their safety. Plain and simple.
So letting your 8 year old ride there bike streets away from where you live is NOT an issue of "lettting go" they are 8 for crying out loud.

Just an FYI MOST child abductions happen within 1/4 mile of there home....
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