how much should a 17 and 19 year old help in the summer (toddler, parents)
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If they are out of school and working 2-3 days per week,
how much should I require them to do around the house.
They think it should be total vacation time except for small stuff here
and there.
If they are out of school and working 2-3 days per week,
how much should I require them to do around the house.
They think it should be total vacation time except for small stuff here
and there.
They should help -- but how many of us remember being very eager to help our own parents when we were that age? It's kind of what goes around comes around. We probably can even remember saying to ourselves and our friends that we'd be much nicer parents and not naggy like our parents.
I'm a big fan of the chore list. My mom has a wonderful habit of coming into my room right before she leaves for work (5AM) and telling me what she expects for the day- and 9 times out of 10 I have no memory of this whatsoever. Seems to be a trend among many of my friend's parents.
If she leaves a list on the kitchen table laying out what she wants accomplished for the day/week, it will get done and it will be clear to me exactly what she wants.
At 19 and 17, they should know what needs to be done, and simply do it, since they are the ones home. When I was 19, I had my own apartment, and if no one washed dishes/did laundry/vacuumed/etc, it didn't get done.
Since they don't seem to be of this mindset, however, I agree with either making them a daily/weekly chore list or else assigning them relatively permanent chores to get done each day or week. If they are home, the house should be reasonably picked up when you get home from work, the bathroom fixtures quickly wiped each morning, dishes should be done, and they should be getting their own laundry done. In addition, one of them could vacuum the main living area a few times per week, and the other could sweep the kitchen floor, and maybe clean out the fridge weekly. That shouldn't take too much time, and is good training for running their own households in the nearish future.
make them help so what they work . they should help with dishes, sweeping ,vacuuming whatever needs to be done including the cooking . Let me tell you my mom was constantly on my butt the whole time I lived in her house do this and do that please . You betcha I did it and looking back now I think it was pretty much a free ride . Or a cheap ride anyways . get on their butt and get them moving and helping .
If they are out of school and working 2-3 days per week,
how much should I require them to do around the house.
They think it should be total vacation time except for small stuff here
and there.
That you would have to require them to help out, at age 17 and 19, is really sad. They should be stepping up on their own.
Depending on their overall attitude I'd go one of two ways...
1. Let them know that you do expect them to help out. Put a list on the fridge of daily and weekly chores and you expect them to pick 2-3 of each to be responsible for, on their own, without you asking or reminding...in addition to just keeping their own rooms and stuff kept up. Geesh, they are practically adults, they should just do it.
2. Go with their idea of taking a vacation and you take one too!! You don't cook for them, you don't pick up their stuff (and when you do it goes to the trash or good will), you don't do their laundry or pitch in for their car insurance or cell phone bill, money for clothes, etc. I'm sure they can manage their back to school shopping and laundry and all that stuff you usually do and hey....you deserve a vacation just as much as they do.
Everyone who lives in a household should contribute to its running. To me this applies from toddlerhood on. My own kids are 10, 13, 15 and they are all expected to help around the house. They don't have set chores but the things they are expected to do varies by what is needed.
I have a feeling that if they have done nothing for 17 and 19 years respectively that they are more resistant to contributing than they would otherwise be. I would sit them down and lay out your expectations and stick to your guns. Nobody really likes doing housework but if you expect them to cooperate they eventually will come around.
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