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I live in a townhome community and my wife and I have given the nickname "The Baby Brigade" to the large group of screamers out here. I can completely understand J_Lurk and the "Primal Scream"
theory, but the kids in my neighborhood take it to the extreme all day every day. IMO it looks like more preoccupied parents and somewhat neglected children lashing out the only way they know how to at this age. It's comical and sad all at once.
We don't have that problem out here in the country. Kids play and have fun, but everyone is respectful of others and we all get along swimmingly. Sounds like you are not in the best of areas. Consider moving to the country.
The kids probably read your posts and are scarred for life now.
Can't help but wonder how common this is, ie was my luck bad re this neighborhood, or is it some "thing" popular in this area or (as I suspect) even worse, ie a nation-wide lunacy...also hoping someone can remind me I'm not the only one left who gets how obnoxious and asinine this behavior is. (PS NOTE AND DISCLAIMER to people, esp parents, who consider this behavior acceptable: this is not aimed personally at anyone, so pls keep that in mind. Maybe such a person is a great parent overall, but the light just hasn't come on regarding this topic - or whatever. Point being I am talking in general terms. If you can't accept or even grasp that and discuss rationally, pls move on. TIA.).
It's bad enough in restaurants, church ad nauseum, but even when I'm out working in the yard, it's not exactly rare to hear some kid scream, and I do mean SCREAM as if someone was ripping their arms out of their sockets.
And I wonder: how can someone be so mindless, thoughtless and generally inept as parents - and people - as to consider this kind of behavior acceptable? Are they so self-centered that they just don't give a flying flip? Or are they so incredibly clueless they actually don't get how rude this is? Either way, it's absolutely amazing to me that such people exist.....and, more to the point, apparently breeding like cockroaches. ie have you found this common in your area as well? Or is my area an aberration?
Hmm... ya I can see it being annyoing if a child does this endless. But.. being outdoors and children they have fun and get caught up in the moment in scream.
I'm personally more concerned w/crime then children screaming.
Perhaps you should look into a older community lifestyle.
I agree that sometimes it's just kids running around outside having fun and yelling. Having fun and just being a kid is one thing. BUT there is an attitude among some parents to let kids do whatever they want wherever they want and thinking nothing of it. At a school concert recently the kids were playing their recorders for an end of year concert. One parent let her 2 younger children run around the place, making noise and disrupting everything. Why do some parents think this is OK? The world does not revolve around just your child, it was rude and unfair to the children playing, not to mention one of those students was yours. What example are you setting that it is ok to act anyway you please--ugh. That stuff drives me nuts.
When I was in college on the first night of exams folks would have a "primal scream" and everyone would go out on the quad and scream madly.
And the fact is, it felt good.
.....except to the people who had to listen to it, that is....but apparently that thought never crossed anyone's mind, or worse, it did but nobody cared. No offense meant, but this is exactly the kind of attitude I'm talking about and what I fear these young kids will grow up to be like. Scream, blast their "music" etc - obnoxious? Bothers other people? Who cares?
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So kids do have a natural impulse to scream.
Newborns and the like excluded, no they don't. They have a natural impulse to get loud when they are excited, but that does not automatically equate to a scream...and once they are old enough to understand the diff between proper and improper behavior, that's when parents are SUPPOED to step in and teach it to them - eg being considerate of others and not doing whatever you want just because you feel like it.
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And like so many natural impulses, the parents are spending all day every day telling them not to do it. It takes far far more than one time saying "don't do it" to get a kid not to do something. It takes regular reminders.
Well said......although if a parent needs to spend "all day every day" or anything remotely close to it reminding the child, they clearly aren't doing a very good job teaching the child not to do it. ie if they aren't simply "forgetting" but pushing the envelope and trying to get away with it even though they know they aren't supposed to, that's when discipline SHOULD be added to the mix.
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Many parents train their kids that outside is the one place they ARE allowed to scream. They tell the kids to use an "inside voice" in restaurants and home and church, and that means when outside they can use the "outside voice" and scream. Personally I disagree with this, because I don't want the neighbors to think my kids are having their arms torn off,
Refreshing! That's a good start, but the idea that it's OK to scream - and I don't mean just get a little loud, but that shrill ear-piercing SCREAM - just because they're outside is just a diluted form of the same problem. Really, the only acceptable reasons for anyone to scream like that are if they're in serious pain or are suddenly and extremely frightened.
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Keep in mind also that some special needs kids do not have the ability to control their own screaming,
True. Also rarely the case, though. And I've seen the kid in question; the only "special need" she has is a clue or 2 and/or some discipline if she blows off the clues.
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Originally Posted by justthe6ofus
If they are playing a game and they are yelling and having a good time, that is acceptable to me.
Me too. I don't expect kids to be church mice. Not what I mean. I mean that high-pitched screech, and when I say it sounds like they are being tortured, I do not exaggerate. I've heard tamer screams in horror films. Simply unbelievable.
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One table over there was a mom and two children about the same ages as ours. The younger one (2yrs) was screaming that high pitched screech. He'd scream, take a breath, scream, take a breath.....this went on for a few minutes. If that were MY child I would have picked him up out of his chair and left! It was VERY annoying and the mom wasn't doing anything to stop the behavior. THAT is unacceptable to me.
Someone else gets it. Thank you.
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Originally Posted by Zoya
It doesn't take hitting a child to disipline it. Chances are, an out of control child is being beat in the name of parenting anyway.
Regardless, spanking is an entirely different topic. Pls feel free to start one up.
There were 2 kids at the Memorial Day commemoration at Heritage that were sooo disruptive.
They were running on the path right behind the monument and were laughing & shrieking through the prayers and speeches. I gave the mom a "look" more than once... and I saw I was not the only one who was annoyed by the constant distraction. She had a bland, fixed smile as she followed her darlings up & down the path. It was All About Them, I guess.
There were 2 kids at the Memorial Day commemoration at Heritage that were sooo disruptive.
They were running on the path right behind the monument and were laughing & shrieking through the prayers and speeches. I gave the mom a "look" more than once... and I saw I was not the only one who was annoyed by the constant distraction. She had a bland, fixed smile as she followed her darlings up & down the path. It was All About Them, I guess.
Welcome to "Modern Parenting 101": i.e., "My child will do EXACTLY as he or she wants, and it's YOUR problem if you don't like it.
As far as the "phenomenon" in general, first, this will probably get moved since it is not at all distinctive to the Triangle area (though I think it's a lot worse in some other parts of the country, based on some of the blogs I've seen), but in general, I agree that it is "bad parenting syndrome" when folks allow their children to do something habitually that is known to be disruptive to others (I don't mean just playing a game and being rambunctious for 45 minutes), they are not only making enemies with the neighbors, but doing their kids a disservice. When they get out into the "Real world", they aren't going to be allowed to just "let loose" any time they feel like it, and being considerate of other people is expected in the real world, despite some parents' blissful ignorance thereof.
1. I asked my parents if kids acted like that when I was young. Their answer, "parents didn't used to take their kids to restaurants back then until they could behave themselves." Now it's a free-for-all and you find babies and toddlers and kids under 5.
2. Kids seem to eat a lot of sugar products and things with HFCS (high fructose corn syrup) in them. That can and does affect behavior, and NOT in a good way. HFCS has been placed into so many foods over the last 15 yrs. The stuff is poison.
3. Parents being 'friends' with their kids rather than modeling appropriate behavior, having boundaries, and a sense of decorum. Society has changed a lot in terms of manners and what's appropriate over the last 25 - 35 yrs.
4. Some kids (no, not all) are really spoiled brats.
5. If there are siblings and older kids then they might be picking on the one who is screaming and it might be subtle.
I'd be inclined to race out my front door, run over to the kid (and parents) and say, "Oh my goodness! I heard blood curdling screaming and assumed someone was hurt very badly!!" Do this 2 or 3 times and the parents *should* get the message.
Better yet, call the non-emergency police number to investigate the child screaming/in danger, just like if it was a nuisance dog barking. Let the parents explain to the cops that their child is a screamer...they'll be embarrassed at the attention caused by the cop cars pulling up if they are at all normal.
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