U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 1.5 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Jump to a detailed profile or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Business Search - 14 Million verified businesses
Search for:  near: 
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 06-07-2009, 09:57 AM
 
3,651 posts, read 5,556,675 times
Reputation: 2608

Advertisements

Can't help but wonder how common this is, ie was my luck bad re this neighborhood, or is it some "thing" popular in this area or (as I suspect) even worse, ie a nation-wide lunacy...also hoping someone can remind me I'm not the only one left who gets how obnoxious and asinine this behavior is. (PS NOTE AND DISCLAIMER to people, esp parents, who consider this behavior acceptable: this is not aimed personally at anyone, so pls keep that in mind. Maybe such a person is a great parent overall, but the light just hasn't come on regarding this topic - or whatever. Point being I am talking in general terms. If you can't accept or even grasp that and discuss rationally, pls move on. TIA.).

It's bad enough in restaurants, church ad nauseum, but even when I'm out working in the yard, it's not exactly rare to hear some kid scream, and I do mean SCREAM as if someone was ripping their arms out of their sockets.

And I wonder: how can someone be so mindless, thoughtless and generally inept as parents - and people - as to consider this kind of behavior acceptable? Are they so self-centered that they just don't give a flying flip? Or are they so incredibly clueless they actually don't get how rude this is? Either way, it's absolutely amazing to me that such people exist.....and, more to the point, apparently breeding like cockroaches. ie have you found this common in your area as well? Or is my area an aberration?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 06-07-2009, 10:11 AM
 
216 posts, read 411,413 times
Reputation: 75
Hadn't given it as much thought. But we live in a rural area, so as a general rule we don't hear as much of that up here.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-07-2009, 10:18 AM
 
Location: Middle Creek Township
2,034 posts, read 2,827,955 times
Reputation: 520
Quote:
Originally Posted by joey2000 View Post
And I wonder: how can someone be so mindless, thoughtless and generally inept as parents - and people - as to consider this kind of behavior acceptable? Are they so self-centered that they just don't give a flying flip? Or are they so incredibly clueless they actually don't get how rude this is? Either way, it's absolutely amazing to me that such people exist.....and, more to the point, apparently breeding like cockroaches. ie have you found this common in your area as well? Or is my area an aberration?
We don't have that problem out here in the country. Kids play and have fun, but everyone is respectful of others and we all get along swimmingly. Sounds like you are not in the best of areas. Consider moving to the country.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-07-2009, 10:19 AM
 
14,924 posts, read 8,221,909 times
Reputation: 11780
Are these kids just standing in the middle of their yard screaming for no reason? Are they hurt? Or are they playing and having a really good time?

I don't tolerate screaming at our house if a child of mine is having a temper tantrum (rare in this household but it does happen). If my child is having a fit they come in and go to their room until they can control themselves, whether that be 5 minutes or an hour.

If they are hurt, well then it's understood, though I try to calm them as quickly as possible because that kind of reaction just exaggerates the pain.

If they are playing a game and they are yelling and having a good time, that is acceptable to me. My boys play in the yard and cul-de-sac with the other children in the neighborhood and can really get into the games they play. They don't scream non-stop and incessantly but if they make a good play or score they will "celebrate". I'd honesly rather listen to that then have them in front of the boob tube getting fat while playing video games.

Now, I do understand your point to some extent. I was eating lunch with a friend. We both had a child with us (a 4yr old and 2yr old). One table over there was a mom and two children about the same ages as ours. The younger one (2yrs) was screaming that high pitched screech. He'd scream, take a breath, scream, take a breath.....this went on for a few minutes. If that were MY child I would have picked him up out of his chair and left! It was VERY annoying and the mom wasn't doing anything to stop the behavior. THAT is unacceptable to me.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-07-2009, 10:25 AM
 
892 posts, read 2,003,567 times
Reputation: 332
We have neighbors that allow their kids to run and scream at all hours as well (and we are in "the country"). From what I am able to tell, just bad parenting. Laughing and playing is one thing. High pitch screeching for no apparent reason is just kids getting away with murder...well maybe not exactly yet.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-07-2009, 10:29 AM
 
191 posts, read 393,621 times
Reputation: 90
Have you tried to discuss the situation with the parents. I live in an apartment and when the neighbors do something to bother me............smoking outside my door...........playing music loud at night.............being drunk and having parties...etc.etc............I always talk to them. If they dont respond in a respectful way, I call the manager....if he doesnt respond and deal with it to my satisfaction.....I call the police...........so depending on the situation.................if the parents dont respond and the kids are being neglected.........treated bad............I dont know the situation.........call child protective services and ask advice.

Dont just do nothing and be miserable.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-07-2009, 10:46 AM
 
Location: Ellicott City MD
2,248 posts, read 5,871,740 times
Reputation: 1750
When I was in college on the first night of exams folks would have a "primal scream" and everyone would go out on the quad and scream madly.

And the fact is, it felt good. Screaming does feel good in a weird primal way.

So kids do have a natural impulse to scream. And like so many natural impulses, the parents are spending all day every day telling them not to do it. It takes far far more than one time saying "don't do it" to get a kid not to do something. It takes regular reminders.

Many parents train their kids that outside is the one place they ARE allowed to scream. They tell the kids to use an "inside voice" in restaurants and home and church, and that means when outside they can use the "outside voice" and scream. Personally I disagree with this, because I don't want the neighbors to think my kids are having their arms torn off, but once in a while they DO scream, because it feels good. Then I run out and say "cut it out" and things are quieter until they next forget.

If you hear repeated screaming, I would worry or complain. If it is a one time, then my guess is that the parent clamped down on it after that one scream.

Keep in mind also that some special needs kids do not have the ability to control their own screaming, no matter what their parent does. I know kids like this (they are autistic), and I'm just relieved that it isn't a challenge I have to face.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-07-2009, 11:24 AM
 
1,489 posts, read 3,721,809 times
Reputation: 498
Quote:
Originally Posted by J_Lurk View Post
When I was in college on the first night of exams folks would have a "primal scream" and everyone would go out on the quad and scream madly.

And the fact is, it felt good. Screaming does feel good in a weird primal way.

So kids do have a natural impulse to scream. And like so many natural impulses, the parents are spending all day every day telling them not to do it. It takes far far more than one time saying "don't do it" to get a kid not to do something. It takes regular reminders.

Many parents train their kids that outside is the one place they ARE allowed to scream. They tell the kids to use an "inside voice" in restaurants and home and church, and that means when outside they can use the "outside voice" and scream. Personally I disagree with this, because I don't want the neighbors to think my kids are having their arms torn off, but once in a while they DO scream, because it feels good. Then I run out and say "cut it out" and things are quieter until they next forget.

If you hear repeated screaming, I would worry or complain. If it is a one time, then my guess is that the parent clamped down on it after that one scream.

Keep in mind also that some special needs kids do not have the ability to control their own screaming, no matter what their parent does. I know kids like this (they are autistic), and I'm just relieved that it isn't a challenge I have to face.
Yeah, I don't know if this is the case in your situation, but I have an autistic child, and sometimes he just belts it out for no reason.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-07-2009, 11:51 AM
 
3,155 posts, read 6,957,601 times
Reputation: 2053
J_Lurk, very well put.

To the OP, noise of ANY type is relative... be it a loud, busy street, train track, neighbor who plays TV too loud, or kids who scream. Before I had kids I was MUCH more sensitive to baby's crying or kids screaming. After a while what was once loud is now somewhat more normal to me. BUT I am very aware that my kids are not the only ones on this earth. Thus I do remind them to use their inside voices. I do occassionally let them scream outside (if it's not too early or too late). BUT the screaming can not go on and on. Like J_Lurk I tell them to stop.

Now, I have also been that mom with a 4 & 2 year whose 2 year old is having a tantrum in a "kid friendly " resturant or the middle of the library. It's tough being THAT mom. But tantrums are for your room... not a public place. So I've been THAT mom who has a 2 year old under one arm screaming like the dickings and the 4 year old crying because he did not get to play at the playland even though he ate all his chicken & fruit like I told him too. So, now that my kids are older, I always try to help those moms, because I've been there and it's not fun. And believe me a glare does NOTHING to the clueless parent and is not helpful at all to the parent trying to just safely get their screamer to the car.

Last edited by PDXmom; 06-07-2009 at 12:17 PM..
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-07-2009, 12:38 PM
 
1,465 posts, read 2,267,627 times
Reputation: 1305
they took away paddling way to soon!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:


Over $84,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2014, Advameg, Inc.

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25 - Top