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Old 06-09-2009, 03:03 PM
 
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Kids spitting, throwing things, screaming or running willy nilly around a restaurant is one thing. I don't know too many people who wouldn't be bothered by that sort of behavior.

But I've seen people get annoyed over a toddler squeeling (not screaming) or just making toddler sounds - like banging their crayons or cup on the table a few times. Babies and young kids make noises, no matter how wonderful and well behaved they are.

Young children also whine at times, although the above situation at Target seems a little much.

 
Old 06-09-2009, 03:07 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by glass_of_merlot View Post
I would love to see the day the police removing a mother and a small child from a grocery store because the child is upset!
They do it on airplanes...

In all actuality, the commonality of seeing extreme temper tantrums to the extent of needing removal is very small.

The store is private property, so, legally, the manager could call the police if there was a disturbance...such as when too many teenagers mull around the local convienence store...cops show up & ask them to go elsewhere...

As someone else said, it's the parents yelling at the kids to "shut up!" (a word I despise) & making mean remarks to the children ("you are fat enough, you don't need that") that are more aggravating then the whining children.

Again, whining, squirming, crying...it happens. Screaming, kicking, throwing (even better...throwing the items at other customers)...that's the problem that should be addressed.
 
Old 06-09-2009, 03:14 PM
 
Location: The Hall of Justice
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NCyank, that is just awful. That poor kid!
 
Old 06-09-2009, 03:32 PM
 
Location: Right where I want to be.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JustJulia View Post
NCyank, that is just awful. That poor kid!
If If I had a granola bar in my purse I might have slipped it to him.

Of course with my luck he would have a peanut allergy and I'd send him into an allergic reaction. The mom would sue both me and Target. I'd be banned from the store for life (and given that she'd win the lawsuit I'd be too poor to even shop at Target anyway).
 
Old 06-09-2009, 05:14 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NCyank View Post
I agree. It's one thing if the parents are even trying...

I just got back from Target and there was a little boy in the back of a cart, 3 1/2 or maybe 4, with his mom. We passed by them in several areas of the store over a 30+ minute time frame, first in shoes, then again by the girls/boys clothing, women's clearance and finally by the dressing rooms. This boy was chanting/whining the whole time..."Mommy I'm hungry. Mommy I'm huuuuungry. Mommy, is it time to eat? Mommy, I'm hungry. Mommy do you have anything to eat? Mommy I'm hungry." The mother said NOTHING the entire time and didn't even really look at him. Finally the boy changed his cries to "Mommy do you hear me? Mommy, say something to me. Mommy why don't you speak to me? Mommy do you hear me?" and then he went back to "Mommy I'm huuuuungry." Still, she said not one word. Now this little kid wasn't jumping up and down in the cart or screaming uncontrollably, he wasn't asking for chips or begging for candy. This seemed to be a case of a totally unresponsive parent and a hungry kid. Clearly her strategy of ignoring him was not working as silence does not satisfy hunger. Everyone in Target knew this kid was just hungry, not a bratty kid throwing a tantrum.
I was ready to offer to take the kid to lunch while she went to the dressing room.

It's this kind of thing that is so frustrating to me. Kids dragging around stores when they should be home napping or in bed, kids who are stuck in carts when lunch was 2 hours ago and mom still has to go TRY ON all the clothes piled in the cart...of course they are going to act up...any little kid would. I know any kid can have a bad day, any parent can have a bad day but the frequency of these events tells me it is much more than that. Sometimes it's bratty spoiled kids just trying to get what they want and sometimes it's parents who just don't know how to handle their kids. More often it's a combination of both.

Still, I have to wonder how people manage like this day after day...you know this wasn't the first time this kid in Target had an 'issue' in the store. It's not the first time his mother completely ignored him. It will happen again, maybe louder and more obnoxious next time. How many times do you go out and hear kids like this or worse? It's not their first time either...it's probably a regular occurrence. We've known couples who had to take their kids to the car EVERY TIME we got together...at a restaurant, at our house, at church....it got very tiring to be with them and eventually the friendships dwindled. Too bad, they were nice people in general, we just couldn't take one more cup of juice thrown across the table or mouthful of food spit out on the plate or people staring at us while we all tried to eat dinner as the kids jumped on chairs or ran around the restaurant. It was also a little difficult to explain to our kid why those other kids behaved like that. They would sit with horrified faces thinking 'I can't believe he just kicked his mom.', they would look at me to see what I would do because they knew they didn't dare ever kick me or spit out food on the plate or throw a cup of juice across the table.
That poor kid. Now in a case like this one I probably would have spoken up to the mother and asked her if it would be okay if I were to buy her child something to eat or even drink (sometimes a drink will take the edge off of hunger) Also if that had been my kid, I would have stopped my shopping and gone and gotten him something to eat and then resumed my shopping. I know the Targets I have been to have a small eatery where I could buy at least a hot dog for him. If they don't have an eatery then I would go and get him some cheese and crackers, let him eat it as I finished my shopping and paid for the package at the register.
 
Old 06-09-2009, 05:31 PM
 
Location: Middle America
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Quote:
Originally Posted by the3Ds View Post
You leave. Every single event is a learning lesson. If tantrum=going home, they aren't going to throw a tantrum if you show them that you're serious.

Unless, of course, theyr'e throwing the tantrum SO THAT THEY CAN LEAVE, in which case, you've just reinforced and rewarded nonpreferred behavior, which will most likely be repeated because it worked.
 
Old 06-09-2009, 05:38 PM
 
Location: chicagoland
1,636 posts, read 3,657,201 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TabulaRasa View Post
Unless, of course, theyr'e throwing the tantrum SO THAT THEY CAN LEAVE, in which case, you've just reinforced and rewarded nonpreferred behavior, which will most likely be repeated because it worked.

Right!?!?! So true
 
Old 06-09-2009, 05:43 PM
 
Location: Middle America
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I do this for a living - applied behavior analysis.

You really have to be careful about analyzing the purpose behind the behavior before you respond to it (bearing in mind that all behavior is communication), or you run the risk of just reinforcing stuff you really don't wanna.
 
Old 06-09-2009, 05:52 PM
 
Location: The Hall of Justice
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I fully admit to multiple instances of being in the grocery store and giving my kids something to eat because they are hungry, or to appease or distract them. For instance, if we've been out shopping for clothes and shoes and we need to stop at the store for a few things on the way home, I've been known to bust open a box of granola bars or package of string cheese. I always pay for these things, of course.
 
Old 06-09-2009, 06:07 PM
 
Location: (WNY)
5,384 posts, read 9,592,480 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JustJulia View Post
I fully admit to multiple instances of being in the grocery store and giving my kids something to eat because they are hungry, or to appease or distract them. For instance, if we've been out shopping for clothes and shoes and we need to stop at the store for a few things on the way home, I've been known to bust open a box of granola bars or package of string cheese. I always pay for these things, of course.
I don't think there is anything wrong with doing that at all... I have done that many times.... I think it is better to feed the kid while you shop than to have a hungry kid shopping with you! The store clerks don't care as long as you pay for it... and if you are that worried about it pay for it and then continue shopping I actuallly do this a lot... My daughter eats her bagel in the morning sometimes and I do my shopping... it works out GREAT! Since I don't have the LUX of getting a sitter she gets the perk of getting breakfast out and I get a quiet trip! (same kid who had the fit two years ago!) I finish my shopping right around the time she finishes eating!
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