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Old 06-10-2009, 09:47 PM
 
Location: somewhere
4,264 posts, read 9,254,055 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pandamonium View Post
I agree with this. Now, see I don't pay an allowance for household chores. For that reason.

One of the mistakes that I have made and sometimes still do is that I do not reward myself.It makes living a chore.
We don't pay for household chores either, only way they can earn extra money is to do something extra that would normally be mine or my hubby's chore.
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Old 06-10-2009, 10:59 PM
 
Location: Middle America
37,409 posts, read 53,366,115 times
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No rewards for good grades, other than parental pride. Good grades were expected, not something to shoot for.

I knew kids who got paid for good grades. I ultimately got "paid" for my good grades by my GPA earning me a mostly free ride to a private college. Worked for me.
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Old 06-11-2009, 06:33 PM
 
Location: Denver
4,564 posts, read 10,935,252 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by maciesmom View Post
I never rewarded for good grades either. Depending on the age, there is the understanding that the "reward" is delayed and is something they give themselves - college acceptance, scholarships, less debt when they graduate, more career choices. etc etc. With DS right now, we are going through that a drivers license is not a "right" but a privilege and one that is not granted without the "good student discount" offered by our insurance company. He has to realize that his grades are more a reward to himself, not to us. We have jobs, cars, house etc. He doesn't. If he aspires to those things, his grades matter. Starting with his driver's license (don't get me wrong - he is a generally conscienscious student - just had a struggle adjusting to HS this year).
Our philosophy exactly! Our son has a very specific university he wants to go to, and a very specific thing he wants to study. He's always known he has to have the grades in order to get into that school. For him, that's incentive enough.

That and also the car. When he turns 16 in a couple months and inherits the old Jeep, he knows he either keeps his grades up to keep the insurance down, or he's on the bus. He also has to have a job to pay for his own gas or he's on the bus....

No free rides in this house. He got his first job last winter and saved up every penny for his future gas. It's driving him crazy he can't find a job this summer (hard to find at 15).

Not to say he isn't acknowledged for going above and beyond. My husband is off at the movies with him right now because he's been an incredible help the last few days.
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Old 06-11-2009, 08:26 PM
 
Location: Las Vegas
560 posts, read 2,183,608 times
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We do reward for A's only. We pay $20 per A and if they get all A's they get to go out to dinner with just mom and dad to the restaurant of their choice.

I agree that school is their job and they deserve a bonus for a job well done. If they do well in school and earn scholarships then it will save us money in the long run.
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Old 06-11-2009, 08:46 PM
 
3,086 posts, read 7,594,122 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 5kingsinvegas View Post
We do reward for A's only. We pay $20 per A and if they get all A's they get to go out to dinner with just mom and dad to the restaurant of their choice.

I agree that school is their job and they deserve a bonus for a job well done. If they do well in school and earn scholarships then it will save us money in the long run.
If we were to do that we'd have just paid out $600 to my 11 yr old over the course of this school year alone. We don't have that kind of money to pay out even if we wanted to do so. Especially since it's been the same since she started school and will be for our son when he starts getting letter grades next year as well. yikes....lol
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Old 06-12-2009, 12:48 PM
 
6,066 posts, read 15,009,981 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lovemaine View Post
Our 12-year-old insists that everyone she knows gets big rewards for getting good grades on their report cards. I'm talking I-phones, shopping trips, cash, etc. Is this the norm? We've always treated her to dinner at a restaurant of her choice at the end of the school year. Now it doesn't seem to be enough for her. We've explained to her that we do the best we can, we're not wealthy, and even if we were we don't believe in throwing big gifts at someone for doing well in school. If anyone has ideas on how to better explain this to her, I'm all ears! Thanks!
Our boys are expected to do their best in school. It's among their responsibilities just like keeping their room clean, brushing their teeth, etc. Everybody in the family has a job to do, and their main job is doing their best in school. It's only when they go above and beyond that we make a point to celebrate it in an extra special way somehow. If they do an outstanding job on a research paper and we see them really working extra hard... we'll make an effort to reward and encourage that. If they've had a huge project that they've been working on, and they completed it all on their own and did a fine job on it, we'll reward all their hard work on that sort of thing. Usually by way of surprising them with something like a trip to one of their favorite places (the indoor swim park) or a special pen or something. (Our boys like to collect cool pens...) But these rewards are not a regular thing. They don't get rewards for every A or A+, even... We reward outstanding effort and hard work, not good or high grades. Letter grades just don't mean as much... in our family, it's not so much about the end result - it's about how you got there. It's about what they learned, which is supposed to be the whole point.
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Old 06-12-2009, 01:26 PM
 
Location: Bay Area
2,406 posts, read 7,885,203 times
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Yes, I reward her and have no problems doing so. In life, the harder you work the more you get promoted, and paid. SO I have no problems giving her the things she wants when she performs well in school.
She lost her purse in a cab in NYC and needed a new cell phone. I was going to buy her a new one regardless, but told her, straight A's and you can have an IPhone. What do you think she got?
But of course, people should stay within their budgets, the smartest lesson you can teach them isfiscal responsibility as well.
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Old 06-12-2009, 01:38 PM
 
Location: Brooklyn, New York
4,116 posts, read 3,140,182 times
Reputation: 1531
Quote:
Originally Posted by lovemaine View Post
Our 12-year-old insists that everyone she knows gets big rewards for getting good grades on their report cards. I'm talking I-phones, shopping trips, cash, etc. Is this the norm? We've always treated her to dinner at a restaurant of her choice at the end of the school year. Now it doesn't seem to be enough for her. We've explained to her that we do the best we can, we're not wealthy, and even if we were we don't believe in throwing big gifts at someone for doing well in school. If anyone has ideas on how to better explain this to her, I'm all ears! Thanks!

What I do is when my daughter GRADUATES is when she gets something SPECIAL Her Kindergarten graduation, I took her shopping for toys. she was then 5 and still loved dolls. Now she is graduating from J.H.S. I got her a 2009 10k gold pendant and chain. That's ALL she gets!!!!! and after the ceremony I will take her to eat at her favorite place as well just like you take your's also.....

But good grades she is suppose to get AUTOMATICALLY she doesn't get to be REWARDED for it because she HAS to do it...

Just explain to her every parent does things differently you can even mention my story to her if you like and just keep doing what you feel is the right thing to do after the school year ends like always.

A lot of children are SPOILED and other parent's might have the money to do all that iphones, trips, etc. etc. but for those that don't we have to explain to them why and how it's going to be in our family.

Good Luck to you
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Old 06-12-2009, 02:58 PM
 
5,747 posts, read 12,025,159 times
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We celebrate the end of the school year and the beginning of summer with a special family activity, but we do not reward our children for good grades. We similarly celebrate the end of summer and the beginning of the new school year.
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Old 06-12-2009, 04:43 PM
 
Location: SF Bay Area
2,148 posts, read 3,309,149 times
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No rewards here, nor do we know of any of dd or ds's friends who receive rewards for good grades. My kids do their best and are rewarded by the grades which reflect the effort they put into it.
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