Rewarding kids for good grades?!? (child, student, college, brothers)
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It was just expected of us to do well in school. My friends got money for A's and I always thought it was weird...especially since it didn't seem to help. My daughter was a straight A student and we never rewarded for grades. Again, it was sort of our expectation.
No rewards for good grades, other than parental pride. Good grades were expected, not something to shoot for.
I knew kids who got paid for good grades. I ultimately got "paid" for my good grades by my GPA earning me a mostly free ride to a private college. Worked for me.
Well, we paid for good grades, and it worked out very well. It was awhile ago, our kids are grown and on their own now, but we paid whattoday would be $20 for an "A", $15 for a "B", "$5 for a "C", nothing for a "D", and the kids owed me $20 for each "F". Grades were limited to math, science, english and history classes. Grade rewards were doubled for the final report card of the school year.
It really turned my middle kid around, turned him from a mediocre to great student. Long story short, he went to college, graduated in 4 years and now has a CPA.
My oldest son was already a great student, so it just gave him some financial reward for what he was already accomplishing.
The middle kid couldn't stand seeing his older brother get paid more money each report period, so he ratcheted up his efforts.
The outcome, for both boys, couldn't have turned out any better. Both are college grads, successful in their careers, and completely independent.
Same, here. All four of us graduated from high school as honors students, and earned degrees with with honors from good colleges and are out about on our own and doing well. I think there are many ways to make parental expectations carry some weight AND to help instill kids' own expectations of themselves other than by paying them for grades. I'm not sure that "I'll do something...IF I get paid handsomely for it" is the best attitude to foster, personally.
I'm not sure that "I'll do something...IF I get paid handsomely for it" is the best attitude to foster, personally.
Agreed. Just take a look at the work place and you'll often see quite the opposite. You'll find people who do nothing more than show up and be a body and they expect to not only be rewarded, but they genuinely get peeved when it doesn't happen.
I relate it like this: when you take a job (school in this case) you understand what the expectations and responsibilities are and what your benefits are for meeting those. If at the end of the year you meet those expectations and responsibilities, then you likely get the cost of living raise that is par for the course, but nothing above. If you have exceeded in your job, then you get the reward in the form of a bonus or a higher than average raise. (you certainly don't get a review/raise every six weeks)
For school my kids have all understood the expectations are for them to work hard, learn well and achieve the best grade they are capable of. They also understand they have certain responsibilities within school and here at home that are part of those expectations. Their benefits are everything being in a family consists of, including the expected food, shelter and clothing, but also the added love, praise, adoration and the fulfillment of some of their wishes.
When they've done an above and beyond the job expected, that's when they get their rewards. A dinner out. A new toy/gadget. Trip to someplace fun. That makes it special and appreciated.
Above and beyond.....that was, in the workplace, when we had lunch catered in. Handed out gift cards or movie tickets. Hung a notice of special achievement.
As are both of my older daughters and neither was ever paid for grades, so obviously it can't be just about the money.....
Well, that is one way to view it. Another way to look at this is that we work at jobs as adults and are paid for our labor, and rewarding/paying for good grades is in line with that thinking.
No one answer is correct, but paying for grades certainly was a good outcome for us. It made a huge difference in the performance of our middle kid. By the way, a neighbor of ours in Ohio had some difficulties with poor academic performance from her daughter, and decided to try this after discussing it with my wife. Her daughter also substantially improved her school performance, and has recently graduated from Ohio State.
Just another tool in the parental toolbox, in my view.
I think phones and expensive gifts are over the top. My parents used to give us a dollar for every point so an a was $4, a b was $3. I plan on doing this with my kids too once they start getting actual grades. I try to teach my kids that just like i got to work and so my job, school is your workplace.
we do reward him with going to the movies or something like that, but I was always taught you shouldn't expect gratitude for something that's expected of you in the first place.
I'm on the fence about it. My kid has to work extra hard due to his having PDD-NOS so when he succeeds its important to encourage him in it.
Its confusing because its sorta like the Smoking issue, how people will be so happy and congratulate smokers who have quit, but no one ever acknowledges the non-smokers who never smoked to begin with lol. Do they get rewarded for taking a drag from a coworker? lol j/k
$10 for every A with a $10 bonus for an A in Math (so $20 for an A in math)
-$10 for every C.
So, as an example, a report card of
Math A ($20)
PE A ($10)
English C (-$10)
History B ($0)
Social Studies A ($10)
Science A ($10)
would provider $40
Well I guess if you read the previous 50+ replies , you'd have a general consensus. We never paid for good grades, we expected them.
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