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Old 06-10-2009, 08:04 AM
 
Location: Tucson, AZ
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Our 12-year-old insists that everyone she knows gets big rewards for getting good grades on their report cards. I'm talking I-phones, shopping trips, cash, etc. Is this the norm? We've always treated her to dinner at a restaurant of her choice at the end of the school year. Now it doesn't seem to be enough for her. We've explained to her that we do the best we can, we're not wealthy, and even if we were we don't believe in throwing big gifts at someone for doing well in school. If anyone has ideas on how to better explain this to her, I'm all ears! Thanks!
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Old 06-10-2009, 08:12 AM
 
Location: Tennessee
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My daughter was in first grade this past school year, and my mother kept offering rewards for grades on report cards (which is strange because she never offered me rewards, but I digress). I told mom that she should not be rewarded for something she should be doing anyway. We have a lot of schooling to get through and I can imagine how expensive it could get. As a teacher and a parent, I think students should be praised for their grades but not bribed.
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Old 06-10-2009, 08:17 AM
 
Location: Tucson, AZ
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Quote:
Originally Posted by charz View Post
My daughter was in first grade this past school year, and my mother kept offering rewards for grades on report cards (which is strange because she never offered me rewards, but I digress). I told mom that she should not be rewarded for something she should be doing anyway. We have a lot of schooling to get through and I can imagine how expensive it could get. As a teacher and a parent, I think students should be praised for their grades but not bribed.
Thanks for the reply! I agree completely! We always tell her how proud we are of her. I'm just getting tired of hearing her complain every time she brings her report card home, knowing that we won't shower her with gifts. (She's a straight A student, and we of course really are very proud of her.) I can just see some of these parents having to buy their kids new cars for getting good grades in high school...
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Old 06-10-2009, 08:19 AM
 
Location: chicagoland
1,636 posts, read 4,216,671 times
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Whatever a parent can do to keep the grades up I guess?

I think the I Phone is a bit over the top.

When I was younger and report card day came I saw many rewards.
1. because I was never a perfect attendee anyhow, I was allowed to pick two days off in the semester and go somewhere as a family (mom stayed at home step dad worked the nightshift) The zoo was always alot of fun during the day when no one was home. (kindof like vacation days for being on the job and doing well for an amount of time)
2. For every A I got a buck and for every B 50 cents. If I ever had any D's or F's the money was not given for the A's and B's. (Like a raise in salary)
3. My father would take me bowling for a good report card and let me play as many games as I pleased! Which was always alot. (Like a company picnic/party)
4. My grandmother AND my father AND my mother AND my oldest sister would each take me to the video store near them which rewarded good report cards with free rentals! They used to do that back then (Many resaurants and other facilities offer discounts and free things to firefighters, teachers, doctors and so on)

I see nothing wrong with a little positive reinforcement and incentive! In the real world we ARE rewarded for a job well done whether it be salary/monetary or awards of recognition and so on.

But some parents obviously can go waaaaaay too far. But they are the parents of that child and they can do as they please
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Old 06-10-2009, 08:22 AM
 
Location: Denver 'burbs
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I never rewarded for good grades either. Depending on the age, there is the understanding that the "reward" is delayed and is something they give themselves - college acceptance, scholarships, less debt when they graduate, more career choices. etc etc. With DS right now, we are going through that a drivers license is not a "right" but a privilege and one that is not granted without the "good student discount" offered by our insurance company. He has to realize that his grades are more a reward to himself, not to us. We have jobs, cars, house etc. He doesn't. If he aspires to those things, his grades matter. Starting with his driver's license (don't get me wrong - he is a generally conscienscious student - just had a struggle adjusting to HS this year).
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Old 06-10-2009, 08:24 AM
 
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I don't know if I would buy huge big ticket items for my kid. However, I am big on celebrating grades. One of the things that I need for him to get is that he is working. This is work. So, work hard and then reward yourself.

I think that when he is older, it will be just dandy to buy a new gaming system.
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Old 06-10-2009, 08:26 AM
 
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My DH and I disagree on this, he thinks we should pay them $5 for every A they get, and I think they should not be paid. Granted it's not the extravagent things you are talking about, but I guess it could be if they got really good grades. Lets see, 6 report cards X 6 classes that equals $180 a year if they got all A's. Whew! I guess it could add up.

We do not however pay for A's. I think it's the childs responsibility to do well in school. It can be harder on children with learning disabilities but for normal kids, I feel if they can get an A for money then they can get one without. They need to do their best all the time, not just when they are being paid.

By the way, my DD swears that everyone gets more things and is allowed to do way more than her also, but when I point out certain kids and things they can or can't do and things they do or don't have they always seem to be the exception.
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Old 06-10-2009, 08:29 AM
 
2,884 posts, read 5,911,742 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lovemaine View Post
We've explained to her that we do the best we can, we're not wealthy,
Sounds like her next class needs to be "Budgeting your Income". When faced with the choice of "Iphone for your grades, or meals for a week," she might understand better.
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Old 06-10-2009, 08:29 AM
 
Location: (WNY)
5,384 posts, read 10,830,513 times
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I was taken out to dinner or something on report card day as a special treat growing up in elementary school/ middle school. When my brother and I got into high school it was a little different. I was always a decent student. My grades usually sat in the mid 80s, some jumped into the 90s (art was always about 100 or so)... my brother on the other hand struggled or didn't care. My parents thought they would try this tactic.... CASH.... they told him they would give us $20 for every grad $85 or above (specials didn't count) and for every grade that was 75 or below we had to PAY $20.... I always got about $120 or so and he was in the hole.... it didn't work very well. They thought if he saw how much money I was getting he would want to work harder.... it really didn't work.... I LOVED it... they ended up stopping it... since it was pretty much a joke. Even I knew it. I used it to fund my phone bill to my college boyfriend at the time. Worked well for me. But we all knew it was just a bit of a joke..... even my brother.... and he never handed his end of the cash over.... it doesn't work. I got decent grades anyway so the money was just a bonus....
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Old 06-10-2009, 08:29 AM
 
Location: Tucson, AZ
4,975 posts, read 11,657,904 times
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I also remind our daughter that we do reward her throughout the year: a Nintendo DS game here, a book there. It's not like we never buy her anything. I just don't want to get in the habit of buying big ticket items, knowing that her expectations will get bigger and bigger as she gets older. Especially when she sees her friends getting expensive gifts for good grades...
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