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Old 06-13-2009, 03:08 PM
 
Location: In a little valley under the Rim
2,214 posts, read 3,736,904 times
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I guess I'm the cheapskate--I try to keep it around $50! When my son had his party this year (6, in K), I told him to keep it to 8 friends (plus his brother and a couple possible siblings, it would put it at 12 kids) and I told him to not talk about it. He had the experience one year of having a child verbally invite him to his b-day party and then uninviting him and then a maybe... and in the end--no invite. It really hurt him. So I asked him to remember how that felt and to not talk about his party at school so his other classmates wouldn't end up feeling the same way he did.

Really, parents should just know better than to create drama about it! It is just something all kids have to go through at least once, and for some kids, over and over again. The parents should stop complaining and use it as a way to help teach coping and understanding skills to their children!
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Old 06-13-2009, 03:15 PM
 
Location: (WNY)
5,384 posts, read 6,712,454 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by crazyme4878 View Post
I guess I'm the cheapskate--I try to keep it around $50! When my son had his party this year (6, in K), I told him to keep it to 8 friends (plus his brother and a couple possible siblings, it would put it at 12 kids) and I told him to not talk about it. He had the experience one year of having a child verbally invite him to his b-day party and then uninviting him and then a maybe... and in the end--no invite. It really hurt him. So I asked him to remember how that felt and to not talk about his party at school so his other classmates wouldn't end up feeling the same way he did.

Really, parents should just know better than to create drama about it! It is just something all kids have to go through at least once, and for some kids, over and over again. The parents should stop complaining and use it as a way to help teach coping and understanding skills to their children!
I know.... I always teach my kids NOT to talk about parties they are invited to or having. I think it just adds to drama or hurts others feelings. It was just the kids who got invited that came to school and talked about it.... then the PARENTS talked it up at the picnic and were TICKED OFF!
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Old 06-13-2009, 03:20 PM
 
5,205 posts, read 4,843,546 times
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For most birthdays, we invite just the kids who have played at our house before - about 7 or 8 kids (including my own).

For the big parties (at Chuck E Cheese, the rec center, etc.) I invite all of the classmates, too.
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Old 06-13-2009, 03:27 PM
 
5,748 posts, read 7,022,758 times
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We don't have large birthday parties for our children. We invite the kids' grandparents and celebrate with a cake at home. I'm finding that a lot of other families in our circle are adopting the same policy.
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Old 06-13-2009, 05:55 PM
 
Location: (WNY)
5,384 posts, read 6,712,454 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by formercalifornian View Post
We don't have large birthday parties for our children. We invite the kids' grandparents and celebrate with a cake at home. I'm finding that a lot of other families in our circle are adopting the same policy.
Wow... I do THAT too! I have two parties for each kid.... Family party and KID party.... The one we have all the Grands and Great Grands, aunts and uncles and Great aunts and uncles, cousins.... so on and so forth... Usually there are about 30+ relatives that come to them... THEN the kid party.... THIS was the first one for my Five Year Old....
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Old 06-15-2009, 08:41 AM
 
820 posts, read 1,196,108 times
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I kind of do the same thing - On their actual B-day I bake a cake at home maybe order some pizza and just the family Mom, dad, kids, Maybe grandma or an aunt and uncle (small) then there is thier Party which is mostly family kids about 15 kids in our family then we invite a couple of friends... generally the total of kids that come are 15-20 kids... I usually have it at a place this past year we did it a Funplex which my DD loves....

As for the parents that are being dramatic about it they will get over it... I could not afford to pay for all of our family member (more important to me) to be invited to DD B-day party along with all 20 classmate just not going to happen...
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Old 06-15-2009, 10:24 AM
 
Location: (WNY)
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SIDE BAR: Is the FAMILY Party a cultural thing? I am just wondering.... Hubby is Italian... I am Irish. We come from GIANT close knit families and both of us have grown up with big, loud, family parties... It is actually starting to get a bit out of hand when we think about it (family party every weekend almost)... but IS the FAMILY BIRTHDAY PARTY a cultural thing? The extended family being invited to celebrate with the family- the aunts, uncles, cousins... great aunts, uncles,.. cousin's kids... so on and so forth.... Do you do this? We do.... Like I said it reaches about 30 people (two sides of the family)
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Old 06-15-2009, 11:48 AM
 
5,748 posts, read 7,022,758 times
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I was just wondering if it's a "cultural thing" to invite a couple dozen kids to a birthday extravaganza rather than celebrating at home with immediate family. I don't ever recall going to a huge birthday party growing up in the 70's. The only big celebrations I attended were family reunions, the occasional college graduation & a few weddings. Birthday party invitations were limited to grandparents only. I don't ever recall receiving a birthday gift from an aunt, uncle, or cousin, nor did I expect to receive one.

Forgive me for being a killjoy, but I think this whole birthday party thing has gotten way out of control and is creating a generation of materialistic kids who think the world revolves around them. It's very dispiriting, and I, for one, am very happy to see the trend reverse in my neck of the woods.
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Old 06-15-2009, 12:24 PM
 
Location: (WNY)
5,384 posts, read 6,712,454 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by formercalifornian View Post
I was just wondering if it's a "cultural thing" to invite a couple dozen kids to a birthday extravaganza rather than celebrating at home with immediate family. I don't ever recall going to a huge birthday party growing up in the 70's. The only big celebrations I attended were family reunions, the occasional college graduation & a few weddings. Birthday party invitations were limited to grandparents only. I don't ever recall receiving a birthday gift from an aunt, uncle, or cousin, nor did I expect to receive one.

Forgive me for being a killjoy, but I think this whole birthday party thing has gotten way out of control and is creating a generation of materialistic kids who think the world revolves around them. It's very dispiriting, and I, for one, am very happy to see the trend reverse in my neck of the woods.
Hmmmmmm I am a product of the 80s/90s and have lived in the North and South.... been going to and having parties since I was small.... The Irish were not really much appreciated down South where WE lived (I know that from comments made to my mother- so I would say it wasn't an IRISH thing there).... hmmmm... and I can't say it is a REGIONAL thing based on it being done in the SOUTH and NORTH.... and back 20+ years ago.... hmmmm....
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Old 06-15-2009, 01:13 PM
 
Location: Mid-Atlantic
1,810 posts, read 2,535,125 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by skbs View Post
SIDE BAR: Is the FAMILY Party a cultural thing? I am just wondering.... Hubby is Italian... I am Irish. We come from GIANT close knit families and both of us have grown up with big, loud, family parties... It is actually starting to get a bit out of hand when we think about it (family party every weekend almost)... but IS the FAMILY BIRTHDAY PARTY a cultural thing? The extended family being invited to celebrate with the family- the aunts, uncles, cousins... great aunts, uncles,.. cousin's kids... so on and so forth.... Do you do this? We do.... Like I said it reaches about 30 people (two sides of the family)

I too am from an Italian family and yes,growing up,we always had huge bday parties. Nothing fancy,pizza,Italian cookies,cake & ice cream but it ALWAYS meant that everyone was coming! Cousins,aunts,uncles,grandparents,etc... it was so much fun!
There wasn't the "competetition" that I see today that is for sure.
Not living near our family any longer,we are always doing the "kid" thing,but we have several family friends now that are always included...

I miss those big family parties and since my sister still lives there,for the most part,the tradition continues with her,minus some relatives...
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