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Old 06-15-2009, 08:33 AM
Status: "Mistress of finance and foods." (set 12 days ago)
 
Location: Coastal Georgia
49,968 posts, read 63,265,686 times
Reputation: 92403

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mattie View Post
I thought my kids had good manners, but moving to a southern state opened my eyes to a whole other level. Within a couple of months they were both saying "yes sir" and "yes ma'am". I'm not sure the teachers expected it, but the football coaches sure did! Now, it's become automatic.
I know what you mean. I always thought I was very mannerly, until I started spending a lot of time down south. Now, I usually wind up feeling sort of crass.
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Old 06-15-2009, 08:42 AM
 
467 posts, read 979,485 times
Reputation: 232
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mattie View Post
I thought my kids had good manners, but moving to a southern state opened my eyes to a whole other level. Within a couple of months they were both saying "yes sir" and "yes ma'am". I'm not sure the teachers expected it, but the football coaches sure did! Now, it's become automatic.
I had a principal in Middle School be like that. He was the only adult I knew that required saying "sir/ma'am" to adults. That was HIS lesson in manners, although it didn't really apply to anyone but him, apparently as all the other adults (teachers and parents) could have cared less about being addressed that way. He was a Southern guy too and had some set of rules in his mind that he expected, I guess. He'd only enforce it when he happened to be within earshot, though.

As it wasn't enforced by anyone else, no one really followed it or gave it a thought. So in that case the manners lesson really was pointless. I know it was meant to show respect to adults, but I gotta say not all adults are worthy of respect just because they are older than you.
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Old 06-15-2009, 11:08 AM
 
Location: 39 20' 59"N / 75 30' 53"W
16,077 posts, read 28,436,574 times
Reputation: 18184
Quote:
Originally Posted by skbs View Post
I am sorry but I was a teacher in a rural school where kids were rude beyond belief. The children ALL had two parents working double shift or were from a single parent home and could give a dang and had manners that stunk! They needed to be taught how to behave in school to be fully functioning in society because their parents didn't have the time outside of work. Without caring teachers these kids would have been complete social delinquents. These parents that are heading to the principal sound like the same types of parents that raised the kid that spit in my coffee or the one who told me I had a PHAT (not fat) A$#! Lovely.....
Still teaching, curious? That's one job I could never see myself doing,
I don't have the kind of patience necessary for the profession.
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Old 06-16-2009, 07:37 AM
 
371 posts, read 1,255,123 times
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How ridiculous! School is the first 'social' situation kids are in that they discover there's a heirarchy, there's consequences to certain behaviors ( good and bad ), and quite honestly would only instill confidence when they learned about good manners. Imagine how a kid would feel if he sat down in the future and had no idea how to act...where the napkin goes, wait for everyone to start eating, don't chew w/ your mouth open, etc - he'd walk away feeling like an idiot and 'below' some folks. Also, imagine how great it would be that this teacher's kids are very used to hearing and saying 'please' and 'thank you' to eachother- what a wonderful little 'world'. Hopefully she has the guts to keep doing what she's doing. Of course in other countries, pre-school is where kids learn these things as well as making a bed, tying shoes, etc.
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Old 06-16-2009, 03:48 PM
 
Location: Sandpoint, Idaho
3,007 posts, read 6,255,620 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Weekend Traveler View Post
A relative of mine teaches Kindergarten and First Grade and has been getting alot of flak from the parents when she attempts to teach kids social skills, manners and etiquette. The parents complain to the Principal and state: Manners and Social Skills should not be taught in school (School is for reading, writing and arithmetic!!!)

What do you think is the role of teachers and schools at the elementary level in teaching kids about things like socializing, sharing, manners, and general life skills? The teachers tell me that these are not being taught in the homes and so the school has to be brought in. The parents say that hard skills should be taught instead. It is something like the controversy over sex education.

What do you think as a parent?
If the 3 R's that were the only standards of primary schools, then schooling would go the way of the dodo bird.

S.
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Old 06-16-2009, 04:41 PM
 
363 posts, read 1,141,089 times
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My child attends a private school and it was part of the curriculum their Kindergarten year. It was nice to have the school help reinforce the manners being taught at home.
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Old 06-16-2009, 04:44 PM
 
1,428 posts, read 3,150,147 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Liza54 View Post
How ridiculous! School is the first 'social' situation kids are in that they discover there's a heirarchy, there's consequences to certain behaviors ( good and bad ), and quite honestly would only instill confidence when they learned about good manners. Imagine how a kid would feel if he sat down in the future and had no idea how to act...where the napkin goes, wait for everyone to start eating, don't chew w/ your mouth open, etc - he'd walk away feeling like an idiot and 'below' some folks. Also, imagine how great it would be that this teacher's kids are very used to hearing and saying 'please' and 'thank you' to eachother- what a wonderful little 'world'. Hopefully she has the guts to keep doing what she's doing. Of course in other countries, pre-school is where kids learn these things as well as making a bed, tying shoes, etc.
With all due respect, Liza, I hope profoundly that you are incorrect -- as I believe you are. Although it is doubtlessly true that some children in some homes are not taught about hierarchies, consequences, and standards of behavior, I think I stand on strong ground in asserting that in most homes, children are taught about hierarchies as soon as they learn that their parents are the ones primarily responsible for making the decisions in the family. Most children learn that there are consequences for good as well as bad behavior and learn normal manners of interaction, including wiping one's mouth with a napkin, and so on.

I think it is absolutely helpful for teachers to practice good manners and be good models of behavior, and I also think it is reasonable for an educator to establish a uniform code of behavior in his or her classroom -- that is, procedures for performing routine tasks, acceptable and unacceptable manners of behavior, and so on, but like others here, I do not believe such things should form part of the regular curriculum, nor do I think they should displace the teaching of core subjects.
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Old 06-16-2009, 04:55 PM
 
Location: NW. MO.
1,817 posts, read 6,833,493 times
Reputation: 1376
Quote:
Originally Posted by Weekend Traveler View Post
A relative of mine teaches Kindergarten and First Grade and has been getting alot of flak from the parents when she attempts to teach kids social skills, manners and etiquette. The parents complain to the Principal and state: Manners and Social Skills should not be taught in school (School is for reading, writing and arithmetic!!!)

What do you think is the role of teachers and schools at the elementary level in teaching kids about things like socializing, sharing, manners, and general life skills? The teachers tell me that these are not being taught in the homes and so the school has to be brought in. The parents say that hard skills should be taught instead. It is something like the controversy over sex education.

What do you think as a parent?
K and 1st grade are excellent years to teach children manners such as sharing and consideration of others such as waiting one's turn or keeping place in line. At that age this social setting might be one of the best.
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Old 06-16-2009, 05:06 PM
 
Location: Houston, Texas
1,668 posts, read 4,684,877 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FarNorthDallas View Post
My son's private school taught social skills and manners every day. It was part of the curriculum.
I want my kids in that school!
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Old 06-17-2009, 02:09 AM
 
Location: New Orleans
530 posts, read 1,126,254 times
Reputation: 500
OMGoodness. I had to take etiquette classes when I was a little girl. I was also punished if I did not say thank you, ma'am, sir, your welcome, pardon,etc...

I definitely think children (esp. now) need etiquette classes. I do meet a lot of well behaved, well mannered children but I come across a lot of rude children and guess what their parents are also very rude themselves.
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