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Old 08-01-2011, 08:31 AM
 
133 posts, read 182,455 times
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I don't really believe in teaching "manners" outright in any situation, not as a parent or as a teacher. However, reinforcing social practices and common values can and should be constantly done by parents and teachers. A HUGE component of school is social development. Social expectations can be taught through literature, plays, and many other exercises.

I do think that schools should take a greater responsibility for teaching kids about the world. Kids should learn important life skills each day. They should also learn about world policy, social issues, and what they should expect to encounter in various real-life situations. This isn't exactly an academic issue. It's more preparing the students for a life in the bigger world.

I also don't get why parents would feel overridden. There are infinite things to teach your children, and every lesson can always be expanded upon.
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Old 08-01-2011, 08:42 AM
 
Location: here
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I doubt anyone is saying teachers should set aside lesson time to teach a lesson on how to eat with your mouth closed. But they can't teach anything if they allow the kids to behave like animals in the classroom. If Johnny continually interrupts when the teacher is talking, the teacher needs to teach him that isn't acceptable. That is teaching manners.
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Old 08-01-2011, 09:01 AM
 
Location: Western Washington
8,003 posts, read 11,696,940 times
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Originally Posted by rkb0305 View Post
I doubt anyone is saying teachers should set aside lesson time to teach a lesson on how to eat with your mouth closed. But they can't teach anything if they allow the kids to behave like animals in the classroom. If Johnny continually interrupts when the teacher is talking, the teacher needs to teach him that isn't acceptable. That is teaching manners.
Absolutely right! Some kids "forget" their manners in the classroom. If you don't remind those kids how they should behave appropriately and REINFORCE that behavior.....they're not going to learn the other stuff because there's way too many distractions.
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Old 08-01-2011, 09:02 AM
 
452 posts, read 895,765 times
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I believe everyone is getting confused-manners= ways of behaving with reference to polite standards. To me is holding a door open for a lady (which both my boys do for girls/ladies which one is 5 yrs old ps), closing mouth when eating food, knowing which fork to use when sitting down, not to slurp your drink when it is down to the end, not cutting up all your food when you first sit down, etc.. I could keep going but will not. This is something that comes over time. Class rules are very different and this is a no said rule about keep your hands to yourself, no talking unless you raise your hands, etc. Worrying about a child with the first infractions a teacher should not worry about or having a child say yes sir or no mam they should use the teachers name Mrs. Smith etc. It helps a child know that they need to remember peoples names.
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Old 08-01-2011, 01:25 PM
 
2,596 posts, read 5,570,679 times
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Originally Posted by 3a's View Post
Even though this is an old thread I am going to bite..... School in this day and age is no place to ask a teacher to teach manners, however, it does not mean the teacher should not use them. My children are taught at home but some children are only seeing manners at school. The key is seeing and learning it does not mean that the teacher in this day and age when teachers need to teach so much more than this should be harping on manners. Key here is let the teachers teach children. Expectations will be set at differing ages. Having come from a private school setting where I was in a lunch room and more than half the children never closed their mouths when eating I have to say if they do not do it at home they have no chance of keeping up with those manners at school when they should be learning reading, writing and math, manners will come in age. Manners and disrepect are 2 different sources not be mixed up.
I don't think they should take the place of the math curriculum by any means, but it really doesn't take that much time to give little pointers and reinforce them. While lining up to go to the library, the teacher says, "Hold the door for someone else, if you can," or, "Say 'excuse me' if you bump someone, regardless of who is at fault." It takes only a few seconds when a child asks, "Can I go to the bathroom?" to respond with, "May I go to the bathroom, please?" and require that they repeat it before giving permission. Some kids are learning these things at home. Some aren't, either because their parent is having to work a lot and aren't home, or because their parent doesn't have the skills themselves to pass on.

And if the point of school is to prepare competent adult citizens, then doing their best to ensure all students have at least a rudimentary understanding of manners is included. If you don't know how to shake hands, speak cordially and hold the door for the person interviewing you, you may have a tough time finding a job.
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Old 08-01-2011, 05:21 PM
 
2,873 posts, read 5,831,748 times
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Originally Posted by h886 View Post
I don't think they should take the place of the math curriculum by any means, but it really doesn't take that much time to give little pointers and reinforce them. While lining up to go to the library, the teacher says, "Hold the door for someone else, if you can," or, "Say 'excuse me' if you bump someone, regardless of who is at fault." It takes only a few seconds when a child asks, "Can I go to the bathroom?" to respond with, "May I go to the bathroom, please?" and require that they repeat it before giving permission. Some kids are learning these things at home. Some aren't, either because their parent is having to work a lot and aren't home, or because their parent doesn't have the skills themselves to pass on.

And if the point of school is to prepare competent adult citizens, then doing their best to ensure all students have at least a rudimentary understanding of manners is included. If you don't know how to shake hands, speak cordially and hold the door for the person interviewing you, you may have a tough time finding a job.

The other thing is to consider is that teacher can't NOT teach manners (yeah, double negative!) If they're allowing the kids to interrupt or push each other, than those are the manners that they are teaching. The choice isn't teach good manners or no manners, really...it's good manners or bad manners. The kids are going to learn what they can get away with, so it's not just for the parent's sake if the teachers try to instill some basic politeness.
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Old 08-01-2011, 07:37 PM
 
Location: Foot of the Rockies
90,316 posts, read 120,376,423 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by h886 View Post
I don't think they should take the place of the math curriculum by any means, but it really doesn't take that much time to give little pointers and reinforce them. While lining up to go to the library, the teacher says, "Hold the door for someone else, if you can," or, "Say 'excuse me' if you bump someone, regardless of who is at fault." It takes only a few seconds when a child asks, "Can I go to the bathroom?" to respond with, "May I go to the bathroom, please?" and require that they repeat it before giving permission. Some kids are learning these things at home. Some aren't, either because their parent is having to work a lot and aren't home, or because their parent doesn't have the skills themselves to pass on.

And if the point of school is to prepare competent adult citizens, then doing their best to ensure all students have at least a rudimentary understanding of manners is included. If you don't know how to shake hands, speak cordially and hold the door for the person interviewing you, you may have a tough time finding a job.
One time when I was a parent volunteer in the library, a second grader said to me, "You need to get me that video". I said, "You need to ask a little nicer", and he said "Please?"
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Old 08-01-2011, 09:36 PM
 
Location: Western Washington
8,003 posts, read 11,696,940 times
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Originally Posted by Katiana View Post
One time when I was a parent volunteer in the library, a second grader said to me, "You need to get me that video". I said, "You need to ask a little nicer", and he said "Please?"
Good for you! It takes a village.....
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Old 08-01-2011, 10:14 PM
 
452 posts, read 895,765 times
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Originally Posted by Weekend Traveler View Post
A relative of mine teaches Kindergarten and First Grade and has been getting alot of flak from the parents when she attempts to teach kids social skills, manners and etiquette. The parents complain to the Principal and state: Manners and Social Skills should not be taught in school (School is for reading, writing and arithmetic!!!)

What do you think is the role of teachers and schools at the elementary level in teaching kids about things like socializing, sharing, manners, and general life skills? The teachers tell me that these are not being taught in the homes and so the school has to be brought in. The parents say that hard skills should be taught instead. It is something like the controversy over sex education.

What do you think as a parent?
____________________________________________
This was the original post to this thread, if there was any disrespect in the classroom in any state (this includes hitting, talking out of line, etc)the child would have been taken to the principal's office for the parents to come and get them. In this day and age where teachers have classrooms overflowing they need to make sure the children are taught an education-math, science, spelling, etc. Social etiquette comes over time like I said my 5 yr old holds open the door for every lady but he learned this through my older son and my husband. In a school setting the teacher usually tells one child to hold onto the door and then they are the caboose on the train since every child should be quiet and inline whenever they leave the room. My boys pull out chairs when you sit down at the dinner table, my children put napkins in their laps when eating, close mouths when eating, etc. But I would never ask a teacher to have to teach this they will pick it up in their life experiences out of the classroom and at home. I respect the teachers place of teaching my children what they are supposed to let the teacher respect my space of teaching manners at home. Sometimes words do not need to be spoken is what I tell my kids. In this case maybe the teacher needs to work on her work and teach the children the lesson plan she/he has for the classroom after all we are talking 5 and 6 years old.
When you do see a child doing a good deed everyone should praise them maybe this is what is wrong too many bad kids getting all the attention and now all our kids want to bad to get all that attention. My kids fly high for the day when someone that we do not know says "such a nice child you have" or "your children are so well behaved".
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Old 08-02-2011, 12:38 AM
 
1,841 posts, read 3,166,693 times
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Directed towards the OP..

In kinder and first grade there must be some order or it becomes chaos..You will have a variety of children placed in one classroom with different levels of socialization and life skills as well as social ettiquette..

There are some children whom have attended daycare and pre-k and are ahead of the curve and then there are children whom have transitioned straight from home to kinder....and they are raw whatever they know is based on their natural environment (home) and whatever little socialization skills they have attained during the course of their very young lives...
During these formative years it is imperative that this is taught since they are going to continue going to school and they must abide by the rules..Social building skills as well as team building skills are very important..

Period.
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