U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 1.5 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Jump to a detailed profile or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Business Search - 14 Million verified businesses
Search for:  near: 
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 06-15-2009, 07:38 AM
 
Location: In a little valley under the Rim
2,214 posts, read 3,733,254 times
Reputation: 1804
I just brought up the athiesm question because it seems to push the question a little further. For example, my mom wouldn't have cared if we chose a totally different religion, but would be very, very, very concerned if we became athiests.

I for one also believe you can't push someone's thinking to be the same as yours.

It is also interesting to hear some other athiests' viewpoints. I have a friend who is one, who also has a little girl. But he is vehemently an athiest, so I have had the feeling that he isn't as open minded about a religion change as Scarmig and Djacques.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 06-15-2009, 07:57 AM
 
Location: In the real world!
2,167 posts, read 5,266,401 times
Reputation: 2533
My children were free to go to other churches that their friends went to. Whatever it took to get them go to any church was allowed, what was important to me is that they went!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-15-2009, 08:46 AM
 
467 posts, read 592,195 times
Reputation: 221
Quote:
Originally Posted by Laura707 View Post
My children were free to go to other churches that their friends went to. Whatever it took to get them go to any church was allowed, what was important to me is that they went!
Is that just to expose them to different things? I'm pretty sure they are going just to be with their buds, not because of any religious reason (mho).

How old are your kids?

Will you still require this as teens? If so, I gotta say, be careful of trusting in that they are actually going to church and not to the mall or whatever, as by the time they are teens they know exactly what to tell you and there's no way to verify it (in this case). Not that I was rebel teen
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-15-2009, 08:59 AM
 
1,135 posts, read 1,176,558 times
Reputation: 1432
When I was 17 I changed my religion from Catholic to evangelical born-again-Christian and my parents were upset at first. Eventually, they came around. I think that what helped in my case was that my parents had friends who were born-again Christians so they knew I wasn't joining some strange cult and also they noticed positive changes in me after I converted.

Of course I still have some relatives who are convinced I will burn in hell because I've left the Catholic Church. One such relative had such qualms about entering my church for my wedding that the ushers had to gently nudge her inside just before the ceremony.

If my own children decided to change their religion once they were old enough (late teens) to understand what they were getting into I don't see how I could stop them. You can't force your beliefs on someone and even if you force a teen to attend church, does it really count if his/her heart isn't into it? Of course, if my children attempted to join a cult, that would be a different story.

It would break my heart if they left Christianity altogether; I'd have less of a problem if they decided to convert to Catholicism. Religion is a big part of our lives and we have frequent discussions about our faith. I try to answer questions as they come up so I think I'd be the first to know if they were thinking about exploring other faiths.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-15-2009, 09:06 AM
 
467 posts, read 592,195 times
Reputation: 221
Quote:
Originally Posted by LisaMc46 View Post
...It would break my heart if they left Christianity altogether; I'd have less of a problem if they decided to convert to Catholicism. Religion is a big part of our lives and we have frequent discussions about our faith. I try to answer questions as they come up so I think I'd be the first to know if they were thinking about exploring other faiths.
no attack here... just saying...

Knowing it would hurt you, and because they love you as their Mom, they may choose not to tell you and let you beleive what you will. As adults, our parents really don't know what we do in our day-to-day lives (most of us on average I mean). As such they may let you believe they are still church goers and when they get married, may do the whole church wedding, etc. Thats no problem. Its just a big pretty building and if it makes Mom happy I be married there and do certain things, thats fine, no biggy.

I had to pretend to be Mormon several times. Only my siblings know how I feel about it, cuz they are there too. But we put up that facade when its necessary to keep the peace, otherwise we do as we wish in our private lives. It won't ever burn our butts, since we know how to "play Mormon" from being raised that way for 18 years each. Once on our own, we ran for the hills

Just support them and love them regardless of what they choose to do.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-15-2009, 09:23 AM
 
Location: Plano, Texas
8,640 posts, read 14,278,087 times
Reputation: 21122
No, I would not support my minor child changing religions. Now if they wanted to change churches to another denomination within Christianity, that would be another matter. Abandoning Christianity for something else, however, I could not support. Obviously, when they are an adult, they could choose however they please, but while a minor, I would do everything I could to discourage their leaving Christianity.

First of all, though, I would try to talk with them and see why they were feeling the way they were and see if we could affect a change of heart and mind, not just me trying to "force" something. Obviously, I can't change what they believe internally, but I can certainly try to talk to them and get them to re-evaluate their beliefs.

Incidentally, my son did go through a phase when he was about 12-13 when he decided maybe he was agnostic. Thankfully, he did an about face and returned to Christ when he was about 14 and an half. I think this was a period in his life when he felt he had to determine whether his beliefs were really his own or just ours as his parents.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-15-2009, 10:37 AM
 
467 posts, read 592,195 times
Reputation: 221
Quote:
Originally Posted by kaykay View Post
No, I would not support my minor child changing religions. Now if they wanted to change churches to another denomination within Christianity, that would be another matter. Abandoning Christianity for something else, however, I could not support. Obviously, when they are an adult, they could choose however they please, but while a minor, I would do everything I could to discourage their leaving Christianity.

First of all, though, I would try to talk with them and see why they were feeling the way they were and see if we could affect a change of heart and mind, not just me trying to "force" something. Obviously, I can't change what they believe internally, but I can certainly try to talk to them and get them to re-evaluate their beliefs.

Incidentally, my son did go through a phase when he was about 12-13 when he decided maybe he was agnostic. Thankfully, he did an about face and returned to Christ when he was about 14 and an half. I think this was a period in his life when he felt he had to determine whether his beliefs were really his own or just ours as his parents.
How can a minor really make an informed decision about what religion they are? Thats like asking them to choose a political party.

Of course a small child is just going to follow wherever the parents lead them, but that doesn't make them members of 'Whatever' faith. My siblings and I were baptized at 9 years old. That made us official in the eyes of that church as members, even though we had no clue or concern about these people or their beliefs and still don't even though that church still technically still sees us as members even though we don't have anything to do with them and haven't since we left home. A child doesn't necessarily embrace their parent's beliefs but may go along with it to keep the peace like we did. If there is a God then they know how we felt and what was in our minds and hearts at the time of this baptism and initiation. You can't punish a person whose been forced fed into something without any choice in the matter.

All I thought about at 9 was Star Wars and comic books. I coulda cared less about religion and only went because my parents made us.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-15-2009, 10:59 AM
 
2,893 posts, read 3,429,219 times
Reputation: 1919
Quote:
Originally Posted by MrMom2 View Post
How can a minor really make an informed decision about what religion they are? Thats like asking them to choose a political party.

If the minor is informed and interested and wants to make the choice, why not let them?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-15-2009, 11:02 AM
 
22 posts, read 31,737 times
Reputation: 27
Yes I would. I don't believe on forcing religion on anyone, even my children. It's their own right to choose.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-15-2009, 11:18 AM
 
Location: Upstate NY
1,289 posts, read 1,539,841 times
Reputation: 3655
First of all, if I ever have children I don't plan to raise them with one specific practicing religion. My mother converted when she was younger and though she didn't raise us practicing a specific religion, she did teach us certain traditions. My mother tried to teach us about other religions and encouraged us to chose what we thought was right for ourselves. I remember when I was a kid my parents never took me or my siblings to church, but they never said no when I asked to go with a friend, and as I got older my mother offered to take us to a church or synagogue or whatever we wished if we wanted to. Ultimately, I think we all settled in with my mother's religion but we all have our own interpretations of it, beliefs and gods.

I think that as a parent, you can take your kids to church and try to raise them a certain religion, but once they're old enough to convert they can and will if they want to. You can try to force your religion on them, but in some cases that only fuels the child to want to convert more or for the wrong reasons.

I think its wrong to try to oppress anyone spiritually, including your own children, and ultimately, I don't think you have much of a say anyways if you try to force your religion on them.
I would like my children to be well educated and understanding of other religions and cultures and traditions.

I know plenty of people who "tried out" different religions in their adolescence, or lack of religion, but eventually found themselves converting back to the religions they were raised with.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $84,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2014, Advameg, Inc.

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25 - Top